WWYD - wedding reception no kids 'situation'

[BobbysBeardOfWonder]

Not sure if I'm being PSB (precious second born) or not so am garnering opinion!

We've been invited to friends' wedding in September, with our DC (2yo & 3 months). No DC are allowed at the evening reception due to small size of venue - not even the newborn baby due a few weeks before :(

Anyway we know this & understand its tricky to accommodate everyone; the bride & groom have v helpfully offered to organise a babysitter for the 4/5 young children within the venue, as the reception starts around their bedtime (7pm).
The babysitter would have all the DC in one room, alerting the parents downstairs in the reception if their DC needed settling.

My DC are pretty good at staying asleep (at least for the first part of the night anyway) but I'm not sure if this would happen if any of the other DC woke/started crying etc.

Also I'm not totally sure about leaving them with an unknown person anyway.

The alternative is for me to stay in the bedroom with both DC and miss the reception. I don't really mind, but just wondered if there's another way?!

If you're not fancying using the babysitter (although Im sure your friend will have someone suitable) can you and your partner take turns in the room with your dc. It's not perfect but it means that you'll both be able to be part of the evening.

If you're not sure about leaving them with an 'unknown person', you will miss the reception if you 'babysit', and children are not allowed..........then you have used up all the options.

Yes we could take it in turns - but then still only one of us gets to eat!

Can you leave them at home with a 'known' babysitter, e.g. a grandparent?

Can you get someone you know to look after your children, either at or away from the venue.

Get to know the babysitter beforehand, by employing her services in the meantime? Ask for references first.

Can you get another bedroom for your 2 children and bribe your mother /MIL to come and sit with them for the evening?

The only other thing I can think of is taking a known babysitter eg your mum... If it is somewhere near some other attractions she could do that during the day and you could take her for a nice lunch or something the following day.

Personally, I would trust the babysitter. If you like, ask your friend where sitter is from - might be an agency or similar which could help reassure you.

Ah see the DC are very welcome at the ceremony & pre-reception tea party; plus DS (3 months) is ebf so can't be left at home.
I know there aren't many options

What about other DCs waking up etc?

Do you think your friends are going to drag a random person off the street to babysit? or use an agency with CRB checked and qualified staff?

Why don't you just go to the wedding, take the babysitter with good grace, knowing the children are safe and sound a couple of yards away?

Either leave the children with a grandparent/relative/trusted family friend, or get them to come with you if you can. Or alternatively, you don't have to go, if it's too much trouble.

why don't you go for the day and leave after the tea party? The 3m old would presumably need a buggy so can understand why there isn't room even for them. Its nice of your friend to arrange the babysitter - why don't you check with her who it is - it might be qualified nanny.

Also, just because they are invited to the other bits of the day, doesn't mean they have to go. A wedding and tea party is not really fun for a baby or toddler.

Yes, the other DCs might wake yours. Or they might not.

If you like, you could get a second sitter from the same source and have them just in your room?

We would be sharing the cost of the babysitter, hence me thinking about it now as friend needs to let other parents know.

Speaking as someone who is organising 2 weddings this year I take my hat off to the bride and groom in this one for organising a babysitter for their guests when they have so much else to organise!

You will be in the same building - just downstairs so no great drama if they do wake up. Just be happy they have organised this for you and enjoy it!

If you don't want to use the babysitter, and don't want to stay in the room yourself, and you haven't got anyone you can leave the kids at home with, then you don't go.

Sounds like it might be easier if you just go to the ceremony and the tea, then go home. Or are you travelling so far that you'd be staying over anyway?

Is it more your friend or DH's?

You have two options, your own babysitter or use the one provided by the bride and groom.

If you choose the second option then presumably your friends will hire a professional so if your dc do wake up then she'll have experience of this and be able to settle them. If she can't settle them she could let you/your dh know so you could go up and settle them. You could leave your mobile number with her so she could text you and you could have your mobile on silent and check it regularly/or have it on the table next to you.

I would either organise my own sitter or decline the wedding invite
Having been to two weddings with a sitter looking after 4 or more little ones it really did not work out well

I disagree with pp who said weddings are no fun for a toddler - my 2yo loves events like this. DC2 obviously happy to go wherever the milk is

I would either not go at all, or if I really wanted to, would go to the daytime bit and leave before the evening do.

Good idea to get a sitter just for our room. But then I might just be being pfb/psb about the whole thing, and the DC would just be fine wherever