To hate sharing a bed with DH

[Tangointhenight]

Whose idea was it for couples to share a bed???

I'm so fed up being too warm, shoved over to one corner, having DH open mouth breathing in my face, his side of the bed being a bit whiffy, being groped at 2 am because he's having a sexy dream.
Gawd I'm just bloody sick of it I had a double bed to myself before we moved in together and I miss it! I can't sleep all cuddled up I just can't!

I'd even go for a single, anyone else feel like this?

Only poor people share bedrooms according to Fellowes.

The uppers don't share a room and lots of upper middles have separate beds in the same room.

I can't sleep unless I am in bed with DH. He doesn't snore or thrash about. The cat sleeps on the bed with us and she seems quite happy, so maybe DH and I are very still sleepers.

I've never had my own room, shared with my sister til I moved in with DH, feeling very hard done by!

Yanbu at all.

We have a king size which means more space but doesn't resolve the snoring which sounds like a 747 taking off

YANBU.

But as I understand it - you are miserable. But you won't say anything to your DH. Because then he might be miserable.

Who says you should be miserable and not even let him know? Seems a bit odd.

Yeah he showers, he's just sweaty unfortunately!! I think a big part of it was having a baby, I now have issues with my pelvis which means I can sleep in my favourite position, on my belly so try to get comfortable in other positions and it's impossible!

The 2am gropes wind me up he's probably sexually frustrated because I'm too tired to resume our usual sex life ATM with young baby!

Duke it makes me miserable because I can't physically get comfy anymore, but I think it would be worse to make him emotionally miserable, just came on here for a vent and to make sure I'm not a freak :o

I would love to have my own bed too. DH talks, slaps his thighs (really ), snores and wraps himself in the quilt like a sausage roll. We top and tail nowadays so I can get away from the noise. Oh and earplugs.

Follyfoot do his feet not get in your face???

pinknose definitely a comfort issue than an intimacy one, love him more than anything just hate sharing my bed space with him now!

We have separate rooms never mind separate beds!

We are just not compatible sleepers. Dh likes total blackout, window closed, duvet heavy and wrapped round him and sleeps for 8 hours a night. I am a poor sleeper, like the windows open with just a light sheet over me and fidget constantly.

We decided about 10 years ago that the answer was to sleep separately and that doing so would not be detrimental to our marriage or our sex lives. We have been together for 30 years, married for 25 and have two fairly young children. We still have intimacy and plenty of sex but we also are better rested and less grumpy for sleeping apart.

I am glad that I didn't listen to the people who say " having separate rooms is a sign of a poor relationship"

we have separate rooms ( to go with our separate beds in earlier post)- he is very messy and has computer crap all over the place, and we have a small DD2 whose cot is in my room for the next few months. After the sleep deprivation of DD1, we weren't interested in repeating the exhaustion again.

My room is just the way I like it and we can always visit if we miss each other! Our relationship has never been better- more sleep and or own space in the house - it's fantastic.

Lots of our friends thought it was odd to start with, but several have now tried it and are converts too. Tango- it might seem simplistic, but if you're uncomfortable and not sleeping well, I'd say try it for a week and see how you feel.

silk duvets are a brilliant investment if sweatiness is a problem,and it is good for allergens too..we got one on advice from dm and it has been fab. Only needed one weight not a winter and a summer one, as it is so good at being cool when you're hot and vice versa.have a look here

Tango - no funnily enough they dont. He sleeps clinging to the edge of the bed plus he is really tall so they often hang off the end anyway. Much more peaceful for me down that end

We have separate duvets. It feels like we're in separate beds. Its great.

I do love nights that he's away, which is most of the time. I use every single square inch of bed at some stage and then when he's in it, he's in my way.

I'd much rather have my own bed than share. Then he can fart away under his own covers and the stench not be anywhere near me.

Thanks for the link spink, we got a memory foam mattress to try and curb the sweat and it has helped so perhaps one of these duvets would help the heat issue which I also blame on having a baby, I used to be freezing all the time and now i get warm so easily!!

Two spectate duvets might also be an option too.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions :)

I have the same silk duvet as spink and agree, they are just fab. I have the summer weight one and use it all year round. Also have a silk-filled pillow from the same place, which is great for hot-headedness.

I have never been able to sleep well when sharing a bed. Separate bedrooms is the only way for me.

Did u know a double bed is 4ft6inches- that gives each adult 2ft3 inches space. I think that is the width of a cot !!!! Whoever thought a standard double bed was suitable for 2 adults is stark raving A king size only gives you 3 extra inches each.Super king should be mandatory imo

We have separate beds It took a bit of doing, and DHs is a sofa bed in the living room, but it means we both get to sleep and haven't killed each other. I would go as far as to say it is one of the reasons we are still together. He we both snore, loudly, every night, and it got really bad before we sorted this arrangement out. We very rarely sleep together now - usually it's on Christmas eve, so Santa can come, and that's it

Mr Palooza snores, farts, grinds his teeth, talks, thrashes around

I'm thinking about the separate duvets thing, that would help with the thrashing around and might save me from the farting. No room for a bigger bed, unfortunately. That will be a pre-requisite for the next place we move to - a bedroom big enough for a huge bed.

I find that earplugs help with the snoring/ teeth grinding.

I put up with his snoring for years poking and shouting at him. I wore ear plugs (even two pairs - the foam ones and bio ears that you stick over the top) and I could still hear him. I took sleeping tablets prescribed by the doctor for a while and took Nytols and herbal tablets, sniffed lavender oil and used lavender pillows. Even the neighbour next door could hear him and me complaining.

Eventually I could take no more. As well as the snoring, I was woken up by being rolled on (by a twenty stoner) and then by the smell of his farts, so I was really annoyed. He's now on the sofa. When I go downstairs (ear plugs in - I still need them although in separate rooms - that's how loud it is) I can hear the snoring and it's like having no ear plugs in. The snoring is just intollerable.

Yanbu, we have our own rooms. It used to bother me, but actually I love my own space and my room is lovely and girly while his is a pigsty manly.