to think that having a 3 month old and three year old is tiring and stressful

[dappply]

I'm knackered and stressed out tonight. Was up during the night at 1 and 4 and 530 and up for the day at 630, as are most nights. Had both kids on my own all day as normal, five days in a row as normal. Today we had health visitor this morning, then out to beach, picnic lunch, play park and then a kids festival in a park this afternoon. Didn't get in till 530. Three year old's been running away all day and driving me mad, hitting and scratching my face. Trying to hurt the baby, throwing food all over the place. Baby screaming intermittently, think she might be teething already. Get home, cook dinner. Husband just talking about the olympics through bath time. I'm tired and stressed. I say I'm tired and stressed and moan bait about three year old. Husband surprised, says stop moaning you've had a nice day at the beach. He thinks I have nothing to moan about, says that he doesn't want to come home from work just to hear moaning. Surely I'm doing pretty well at something that is surely acknowledged to be tired and stressful, so surely i'm within my rights to be tired and stressed?

You have had a nice day at the beach!!!!

he should try it with a baby and a three year old.

I think you need to say that you may need a bit of support when knackered. It isn't nice to be moaned at when you come in (I have been on both sides of this coin) but total non acknowledgement of a stressful day like yours would push me over the edge.

You sound like a supermum from the list of activites you have undertaken today.

i'm not after a medal, i'm not boasting or trying to be super mum. i get out and about as much for me as for the three year old and I did enjoy the day at points. But i'd just like it acknowledged that i'm doing pretty well. I thought I'd be stuck to the sofa in a messy house with cbeebies on constantly and in tears at this point. But i'm not and it's ok, it's just tiring and stressful some days. it is isn't it? Do others find it hard?

It is hard

Hopefully your 3yo will get 15 hours a week at nursery from September? (assuming you are in the UK) which will help a lot - light at the end of the tunnel!

Dh is the same - thinks my maternity leave is one long holiday. Er no, it isn't.

I found it incredibly hard, and I would have felt violent to anyone who suggested otherwise.

Is your DH often so lacking in imagination? Or is it just today?

Its a rare person who wouldn't find the opposing needs of a baby and a toddler totally knackering! Get him to have a couple of days off and do it - hopefully it will make him more appreciative!

It is hard, I had a similar age gap and remember it well. Bloody knackering. I don't think I'd have made a whole day at the beach with mine at that age. Put your feet up and get DH to sort the wine out.

I have that age gap!

It is hard.

It would probably help if you did a bit less though, concentrate on paying the older one attention whenever younger one is sleeping, my older one's behaviour is much better when she feels like she is getting one on one with me (which she doesn't, necessarily, if we're out and about). Just go out for half the day and spend the other half at home.

You should try a six a four and an eleven month old

If I had any hair I would be pulling it out

Agree with PuddleJumper - hand kids over as soon as they wake up in the morning. See how he likes it. If you're breastfeeding, hang around to feed baby, but leave him to the rest. Selfish arse.

Aaargh, my DH thinks mat leave is a holiday too! He thinks I nap when the baby does (ie, in 10-30 minute intervals at lunchtime ) and he doesn't understand why the house gets messy and I get tired and grumpy. And that's with one 5 month-old, not a 3 month-old and a toddler. Have a large or , depending on whether you're bf or not.

I have a 14 month old & wouldn't even dream of doing all the activities you've done in one week, let alone a day! So bloody well done you. I'm also pregnant & have made peace with the fact that I WILL be stuck to the sofa in a messy house with CBeebies on all day in a few months!
I don't know why some DPs just don't "get it". You are NBU to have a "moan" if you want to, I think pretty much anyone with young children is tired and stressed, your DP is being U!

It is hard. DD2 is 2.9 and DD3 is 10 months. I am tearing my hair our this week with them and work on top as can't work in the evenings as DD3 keeps waking up. Lack of sleep makes everything so much harder.

I think you are doing great and I totally get why a day at the beach with both would have been hard work. Days can be lovely but they are hard work :)

i'm not out all day everyday, usually just out in the morning and back after lunch for three year old's nap. Today was unusually sunny and so took advantage of it. Baby doesn't nap in house, three year old does't nap in buggy. three year old would go mental if we didn't go out though. so would i to be honest.

and can't give the children to my husband for the day as the baby is breastfed. But I can and wil give him the three year old for along as i can, and the baby for a bit. Don't you worry.

Thanks everyone, just wanted a bit of reassurance that i'm doing ok and it is hard

YANBU - I have a 3.10 yo and a 9 month old.
It is exhausting. Exhausting to stay in and entertain them both (but the baby gets to sleep properly) exhausting to take them both out to wear out DS.

18 months to 3 and a half was hardest time for me with all mine. Non-stop input required. Hang in there!

It's hard with any aged kids tbh.
It's been hard with mine at all ages if I'm honest and at 7 and 5 now they bicker fight and fall out all day and it's mentally very taxing

Tonight out spare duvet and pillows in your car..

Tomorrow.

Baby wakes..

Kiss your dh awake. Whisper you are popping out.

Get car keys,

Start car,

Drive to quiet spot,

Park,

Sleep,

Stay until refreshed,

Go home.

Yes it's hard, yes you're doing incredibly well. And actually, yes you do deserve a medal! And in the absence of a medal a supportive husband who could show some empathy and appreciation. The correct response from him (and the response from my DH) would have been, sympathy, followed by ordering you downstairs to have a sit down and break from the kids while he finished bath time.

Try it with 3 under 5, holding down a full time job in the city, and commuting.

I really CBA with all the woe, look at me I'm a yummy mummy, aren't I clever juggling every one moans

It is hard. I think that the OHs don't always realise quite how hard until they do it solo. Have a couple hours "off" if you can. It will probably do everyone some good!

Jumping, and yet, you are moaning that you are a mummy juggling 3 kids and a job in the city and commuting...?? Closest the OP has got to talking about juggling is mentioning her clown of a husband.

This Yummy Mummy would have shot herself before whining about a lifestyle choice. I packed up The City and went local working some 10 years back.

Less look at me, how clever am I and a little more sanity in the world.

Haha jumping, you just did.