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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that having a 3 month old and three year old is tiring and stressful

62 replies

dappply · 03/08/2012 20:17

I'm knackered and stressed out tonight. Was up during the night at 1 and 4 and 530 and up for the day at 630, as are most nights. Had both kids on my own all day as normal, five days in a row as normal. Today we had health visitor this morning, then out to beach, picnic lunch, play park and then a kids festival in a park this afternoon. Didn't get in till 530. Three year old's been running away all day and driving me mad, hitting and scratching my face. Trying to hurt the baby, throwing food all over the place. Baby screaming intermittently, think she might be teething already. Get home, cook dinner. Husband just talking about the olympics through bath time. I'm tired and stressed. I say I'm tired and stressed and moan bait about three year old. Husband surprised, says stop moaning you've had a nice day at the beach. He thinks I have nothing to moan about, says that he doesn't want to come home from work just to hear moaning. Surely I'm doing pretty well at something that is surely acknowledged to be tired and stressful, so surely i'm within my rights to be tired and stressed?

OP posts:
dappply · 03/08/2012 23:19

To put it in perspective to those who thought I was doing too much today. Got bus to beach at 1030 after HV. Beach 11- 2, with a picnic for lunch. Play park was on the way back to bus stop. Back into town for 330pm, and passed park with kids festival ( face painting, pony rides, etc) in on way home . Wasn't all intentional. Just going with the flow on a sunny day.

OP posts:
naturalbaby · 04/08/2012 10:34

We all do it, I've kicked myself after many many days where I tried to do too much and the kids let me know all about it!

Wish I lived near a beach Envy.

FateLovesTheFearless · 04/08/2012 10:39

I have done 4 six and under and 3 five and under. Age gaps of 14 months and 16 months respectively. Doesn't make me a miserly mare that can't sympathise with other mothers finding motherhood tiring and stressful, regardless of the amount of kids. Hmm

Ephiny · 04/08/2012 10:55

I'm sure it is hard, and everyone needs to have a bit of a rant or a moan occasionally. If it was a one-off after a particularly bad day then YANBU.

But it's no fun having to live with someone who's whiny and moaning all the time about how tired they are, how difficult their life is etc, especially when it's a lifestyle they've chosen. I wouldn't want to come home to that either.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 04/08/2012 11:05

Hi :)
you are entitled to moan about a hard day - everyone is and everyone has a different level of what they find hard in whatever area. I would say though dont just sit back and accept that the days are hard, work out why and try and make the next day easier. Being at home with them is not a punishment or something you have to "get through" and alot of people (not saying you i dont know) get into the trap of thinking it is which becomes a cycle of misery!.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 04/08/2012 11:14

oh wait! i just read the rest of the thread i didnt realise we were having a competition of difficult days - my entry:
I have 5 7,5,3,1 and 5 months my dh is self employed and i work about 12 hours a week for him from home. Um - hes out 8-8 5 days a week sometimes he works weekends. I think thats it.
Oh i have a cat.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 04/08/2012 12:01

YANBU

I also found this stage very very hard. To some extent it's to just be endured, although that makes it sound more negative that it is. What is it is relentless, sometimes boring, sometimes stressful. But it gets gradually easier and then it's lovely.

I agree that your DH won't know what it's like unless he does it all by himself.
I agree that you might need to give him half an hour to wind down after he comes in ffrom work, but then after that it should be 50/50

I don't think you want a medal, just some acknowledgment - we all need that and we lose that when we aren't working outside the home.

Spectacularly unhelpful and enempathic for JumpingThroughHoops to make this into a competition - I wonder if that's how you respond to your children when they are having a bad day : "think your day was bad - you have nothing to moan about?" ??

tethersphotofinish · 04/08/2012 13:50

I had seven under two as well as two husbands who both worked 19 hour days, eight days a week. In addition to my high flying job managing a premiership football team, I was training for the marathon and working on the side as a spy for the former USSR.

You were lucky.

x2boys · 04/08/2012 14:59

ah bless you my oldest was a few months past three when youngest was born youngest now two and two months oldest six at xmas we are just getting over it now its damned hard work!

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 04/08/2012 18:42

tether - that's nothing. I lived in a hole in the ground with my 13 children under the age of 5, and we all had to get up before we went to bed to work in the mills

Shagmundfreud · 04/08/2012 19:28

YANBU

I once went on holiday alone with a 4 week old, a 22 month old and a 6 year old. And the dog. On my own. In the car. 4 days.

Why did I do that? Hmm

I needed a holiday when I got home.

dappply · 04/08/2012 23:10

hahaha......... yous all made me laugh, thank you. and thank you for the empathy.

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