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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to be pissed off at him taking the remote

25 replies

princesskc · 02/08/2012 11:22

First post so be nice, h just walks in and turns over no matter who's watching what and not just recently he's done this for years! If I say anything he tries to make a joke of it, 'oh its not very good, you're not missing much' so aibu?

OP posts:
Methe · 02/08/2012 11:23

My Dad does this and it drives me bonkers.

Dh wouldn't dare!

AThingInYourLife · 02/08/2012 11:24

YANBU that is very rude and inconsiderate

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 02/08/2012 11:45

If he's done it for years and you've let him it might be too late to make a stand now. You could buy one of those universal remotes and secrete it about your person under your cushion and every time he changes the channel, change it back and say "actually I was enjoying that, it's finished in X minutes". Lather, rinse, repeat.

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2012 11:48

Just take it off him and turn it back!! How very bloody rude of him.

DH likes to try this on and gets extremely short shrift when he does.

It's crap entitled behaviour, like your DH is the only one who gets any say over what's on the tv because he's "the man of the house" - no, he's an entitled, mannerless bugger and you've let him get away with it for years, so it's unlikely he'll stop now.

PooPooInMyToes · 02/08/2012 11:50

No you are not even remotely being unreasonable. It shows a lack of respect for you or anyone else watching the telly and a complete disregard for your right to watch what you like to watch on telly.

He is saying that you have no right to an opinion, to have your own likes and dislikes, that your opinion and tv choices mean so little that he's just going to override them.

When he says that its not very good anyway so you're not missing much why don't you reply "that's your opinion not mine, give me the fucking remote you controlling cunt!"

A bit strong?

I don't think so actually. Its not what he is doing but what it represents that is important.

princesskc · 02/08/2012 11:51

Wouldn't say I've let him, always said something but short of physically taking it from him don't are what else I can do if I ask for it back I'm just told no or on the rare occasion he does turn the channel back its after watching 'this bit' of what he turned it over to, hence 10 mins later and what I was watching has gone off. I know its not the end of the world but it just makes me grrrrrr!

OP posts:
princesskc · 02/08/2012 11:53

Lol at poopoo may try that :-)

OP posts:
samandi · 02/08/2012 11:53

YABU to have put up with it for so long.

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2012 11:54

No it's not the end of the world but it does, as poopoo says, show a fundamental lack of respect for you.

Sit on the remote, then he won't be able to do it.

HecateHarshPants · 02/08/2012 11:55

Take it back.

Or when you've turned to what you want to watch, take the batteries out of the remote Grin

He is being very rude and you have to challenge him on it.

Are you saying that for years you have just let him? Sometimes saying something and then shutting up when he says what was it? It's not very good?

Really?

Sorry, I don't mean to come across as unsupportive - but more bloody fool you! It's time to stand up and say no more, you rude git! I agree that it is a total lack of respect, courtesy and consideration. How very My House of him Hmm

PooPooInMyToes · 02/08/2012 11:58

So you ask him to turn it back and he just says no!? Shock

What an arsehole. That's really controlling. Do you find that you matter so little in other areas of your life together? Do you always have to do what cunt he wants?

HecateHarshPants · 02/08/2012 11:58

x-post - he tells you NO?!

He walks in while you are watching something, takes the remote off you, turns over and when you say that you were watching something he says it wasn't very good and then he says no, he won't give it back?

He is a TIT.

In itself, tv is not a big deal. But it isn't about the tv. It is about the attitude towards a person that enables someone to act without any courtesy or consideration and to think that they are more important.

Take the batteries out of the remote.

Get up and turn the tv back over manually.

Tell him that he is a selfish arse and although a tv program may not matter in itself, the mindset he is displaying is offensive.

I mean, you don't have to. I'm not commanding it or anything Grin I just really think you ought to

princesskc · 02/08/2012 12:08

Poopoo most areas but that's a whole different thread, just wanted to know how others would deal with this. Thanks ladies, off to put my tough pants on lol.

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 02/08/2012 12:12

Sit on the remote. When he asks where it is just say "You don't need it. I'm watching xxx."

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/08/2012 12:22

Agree with all of the previous comments re your husband's attitude.

On a practical note - how is he able to get the remote in the first place? You know he does this, why is the remote not hidden from him to ensure uninterrupted viewing? Tucked under your leg or some such? My DS frequently tucks it between the cushions of the sofa so that nobody else can reach the damned thing.

PooPooInMyToes · 02/08/2012 12:28

So this is just one small part of what a selfish arse he is!?

Poor you.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 02/08/2012 12:29

Yanbu, dh would say "do you mind if I see what else is on?" if I'm not that bothered I hand over the remote, if I am watching intently I hand it over after the program has finished. If its football and he really wants to watch it, he can go upstairs!

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2012 12:37

sorry but you let him do this, you are have not stopped him for years and now he knows he can get away with this.

I had a bil that did this, he only did it once in my presence and never even touched a remote control for a telly afterwards.

Op it is going to be hard to make a stand now - but I would probably lend the tv to a friend for the week and when he comes home and there is no tv you can say

nothing much worth watching you not missing anything....

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2012 12:38

oh and then let him know the joke is on him Grin because i think he will need to be told it is a joke as he probably will not get that part Wink

trikken · 02/08/2012 12:41

Dh used to do this but I got cross and told him not to and now he always asks of i'm already watching something. I found it very annoying.

fabsi · 02/08/2012 12:42

YADNBU!!!! What a complete and utter knob. I agree with hecate, take the bloody batteries out!!

DawnOfTheDee · 02/08/2012 12:43

You need one of these Grin

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2012 13:19

DoTD I like your style

DawnOfTheDee · 02/08/2012 15:29

Thank you Ivykaty44. I am queen of the remote in my house! Grin

princesskc · 02/08/2012 15:31

I like it dawn!

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