To never take my dd out in public again.

[greenwichgroove]

In the loos today and dd shouts there's no loo roll.

I tell her she will have to manage as I was in next cubicle and none in mine either. She's says she will have to shake. She started singing a tune (to the tune sheldon in big bang theory sings in the bongo episode for those who know)

"There's no toilet roll so mummy shakes her booty" really loudly"

I walk out of cubicle to a queue of people we hadn't heard come in

Please tell me your children have embarassed you more..

Whenever DD and I go in a public toilet together - every single sodding time - she asks loudly 'why do you have a hairy bottom mummy?' Honestly, I'm so close to getting a Hollywood

I'm not precisely sure what a 'Hollywood' is but I'd hazard a guess that if the lushly ladygardened get trimmed to avoid such utterances, they will instead get the even worse 'Why isn't your bottom all hairy any more, Mummy? It used to be really hairy ...(etc in the way only small children can)'