To be failing so badly at baby tooth-cleaning?

[medievalgirl]

I have twins, almost 22 months old. The problem is that despite my best efforts, I have never managed to persuade them either to let me clean their teeth or even to try and do a bit of tooth-cleaning themselves.

There's a bit of background to this. They both had really bad reflux until recently, and getting anything into their mouths (milk, food, medicine) has always been challenging, to say the least. They don't really like putting anything in their mouths. In the early days I was wary of pushing the toothbrush issue too much because it seemed more important to persuade them to eat/drink. (Their percentiles were very low and they often lost weight.) But now they're beginning to eat better and don't look emaciated any more, I'm still failing to clean their teeth. Other issues do tend to take over (eg they're not walking or talking yet), but my guilt about the teeth problem rumbles on in the background.

I've tried:-

1. Encouraging them to copy me or my husband, by cleaning my teeth in front of them and making it a game.

1. Playing with toothbrushes in the bath. Or just playing with toothbrushes generally.

1. Sitting them on my lap in front of a mirror and introducing the brush so that they can see in the mirror what's happening and it's less threatening.

1. Trying to sneak the toothbrush into their mouths when they're laughing.

1. Using normal baby toothbrushes. Using Brushbabies.

But it doesn't work! The toothpaste is a no-no too, because they hate apple and hate mint.

Because they're not talking yet, I can't even try negotiating (eg can't promise them something nice if they clean their teeth first).

They are gorgeous but rather highly strung little chaps, and they don't like being fussed around generally (eg hate creams, nose wipes, etc).

I just don't know what else to try. And heaven knows how I'll take them to the dentist: there's NO WAY they'll open their mouths on demand for anyone!

We also have twins, our didn't have reflux or any issues at all but they still hated having their teeth done!

We just used to pin them down, between our legs, pinch their noses and brush. It sounds cruel, but tbh I'd rather they had teeth that weren't rotten than didn't do it because they wouldn't cooperate.

They were fine once they got to about two and a half, they love doing their teeth now!

Also my two still aren't talking and are under SALT, but of all the twins I know (at least 10 sets) only one set of them were 'on time' with talking.

I've not got twins, but I agree you need to pin them down and do it. Have you seriously never brushed their teeth at 22 months old? I think it just needs to be done, no arguments. My DSs hate mint too, but it's not negotiable.

DS is 16mo and we struggle to brush his teeth every day. I say we, but in fact I handed this little problem over to my husband some weeks ago so now I just stand downstairs with my eyes shut banging my head into the bannister when I hear the struggle commence.

DS refuses to open his mouth for the toothbrush if anyone else is holding it, he'll only join in if he gets to do it himself. Which is fine except that his idea of tooth brushing is to suck all the toothpaste off, swallow it, then ram the brush down his throat until he gags. DH has now taken to using whackamole's method and holding him down to get it in there and properly scrub. It's horrible because it means that bedtime becomes a tearful battle rather than a lovely snuggly wind-down time, but it has to be done. I'm a bit paranoid about teeth and I'm not having them all green and rotten by the time he starts school.

DS is another one who hates any sort of interference and fuss - he's generally laid back but will have a screaming fit when I wipe his nose, face, change his nappy, etc. I think once he's learnt to brush his teeth himself properly the battle will be over, he just doesn't like other people interfering with him. You'll probably find the same with your two. Good luck!

Both my older ones have been pinned down when small for tooth brushing! Somewhere along the line they seemed to get the idea. I have tended to go with giving them the brush to play with in the morning and pinning down in the evening. Toothpaste wise you say you've tried apple and mint but you can get strawberry ones and orange ones too so those might be worth a try.

YANBU and should not feel guilty. Lots of children hate having their teeth brushed and your two sound like they have better reason than most to worry about people messing about near their mouths. It will get easier once they can understand more and you can negotiate, and once they are old enough to brush independently.

Obvious thing to do in the meantime is make sure you keep a tight hand on dietary sugar. No juice except with meals, no sugary snacks etc.

And book an appointment with your dentist for advice. Even if they won't go for a check-up yet it is never too early to get advice. Also kids are perverse and yours might just 'open wide' for the dentist when they never do so at home. If their teeth are lovely and healthy that might make you feel better.

Also of the Pin 'Em Down school of thought here.

Tooth brushing is non-negotiable in this house.

DD1 is 3 and happily has her teeth cleaned now, but at 1 she protested muchly.

My nearly 2yr old is the same. Hates having her teeth brushed, so I let it go alot of the time, but making sure she at least has injested some toothpaste for the flouride (our mains water is flouride free). Would be interested in any suggestions, so subbing to this thread!

I have to agree with the pin them down and get on with it. If you pinch their nose, they will open their mouth and then do it as quickly and gently as possible. Its a lesser evil than tooth decay and serious misery when going to the dentist later. The screams and tears only last a moment or two and are followed with lots of soothing and cuddles.

Also to add that with DS I HAVE pinned him down to brush his teeth, but now at 3.8yrs he happily lets me do it. So I guess I just need to be tougher with DD. It's just that she protests much more and literally refuses to open her mouth AT ALL. A tleast with DS he did open his mouth so it was easier. Never thought of pinching the nose, makes sense sounds awful but needs must I guess.

I had to pin down DD for a few months too - it was unpleasant but totally necessary (she has terrific teeth). I now use a strawberry flavoured paste from an organic American brand which DD (now 4) loves alongside her Disney toothbrush. It's a necessary evil unfortunately.

I have no advice to add, but I don't think you should feel guilty at all. It's not like you just forget to do it, you've tried a lot of different things to get them to brush their teeth, their just not having it! So no YANBU, but don't give up!

I am totally at the number of pin'em down brigade on here? Really?? Having seen my DS2 held down by a dentist and given a complete phobia of dentists as a result there is no way I would recommend this. I'd go with as little sugary food as possible and lots of milk, cheese and carrots instead. Also keep up the game playing, let them clean their toys with toothbrushes, teddies teeth, make faces out of balloons and clean their teeth etc.

I'm of the Pin Em Down school as well - both Dses hated teeth cleaning at first, but better a few wails than rotten teeth and the pain of dental work. Eventually we got them to 'growl like a tiger' to clean them, and now it's not an issue.

Can I just say thank you for all the advice. Looks like there's a pretty clear consensus. I'll start the holding down plus nose-pinching approach tonight. You may hear some screaming: apologies for the disturbance...

Make an appointment at the dentist, you should get them signed on anyway and he may have some ideas to help with brushing their teeth or provide some reassurance. It alos gets them used to going, last time DTS opened his mouth and was fine, DTD refused to.

Try other brands, we started on strawberry with DS1 and gradually moved to a minty one. My twins have their teeth brushed, it is still a bit haphazard at times as they want to do it, suck the brush etc. The thing that the dentist stresses more than proper cleaning, is a good diet, few sweets, no juice at all.

It sounds like you are doing the right things, they wil come around. I'm not in the pinning down camp, but mine have been OK with letting me brush their teeth. Having said that, healthy teeth are really important.

Well I think there has to be a line drawn, I think it is ok when tiny to play and to try to gradually introduce the idea but by the babies in the OP are nearly 2 and so by now if they have not had their teeth brushed could have serious decay. I also think there is a difference between mum pinning them down and a stranger (dentist) doing it. I have always started each brushing session getting them to roar like a lion etc or singing silly songs to get them to laugh but yes, when they have refused I have pinned them down. Neither is traumatised.

(sorry, my post was to ithinkitsjustme)

Its one of the most difficult daily challenges. I hate it!

Let them choose their tooth brushes and tooth paste - we had success with a Gruffalo toothbrush (now a Thomas one) and tooth paste with a starfish on (flouride free). Make a big deal over how exciting it is, then take it in turns. Be firm (don't agree with pinning them down, but have been known to hold onto to DS whilst he shouts). He's got a little bit better recently, so just keep persisting.

SIL is a dentist. She suggests wrapping the kids in a towel (so their arms are by their sides) until they get used to having their teeth cleaned. She has seen too many little kids with rotten teeth. Incidentally, she is the mother of three small children herself and has had to do this with one of her own.

We got our little one to think it was a game by saying bzzz every time we came near with the toothbrush. We would keep buzzing while pretending to clean the teeth of every cuddly toy in sight, then she would be desperate for it to be her turn. It still works, although one day she's going to realise that tooth-cleaning is not that exciting...

medievalgirl I have got 2.5 yr old twins,seriously you need to perfect a good headlock technique!toothbrushing again in our house is nonnegotiable and does often end in tears as they are stubborn little things and toothbrushing means end of playtime and up to bed!however a few tears can help you,as it means their mouths are open.
A firm hold of them and blocking their arms with mine and a strong grip,I always do it on the sofa with their heads on the armrest so they can't fling themselves around.we also do it with dd if we need to give her any medicine.
As long as you are firm and tight with your grip it's quite easy to keep hold of them.
Maybe though try some toothpaste on their finger to taste it rather than straight in with the toothbrush,def use baby toothpaste because of the flouride levels and I tell them how their favourite auntie/uncle/grandad etc loves to clean their teeth,how much I love to clean my teeth,daddy does etc, often sing that zingzilla song 'brush your teeeth brush your teeth' very fast!I tell them that only big boys and girls brush their teeth and that they have perfect teeth because they brush them.
We also tell them a lot that they have beautiful smiles because they brush their teeth.
You might be surprised about the dentist,I took mine a couple of months ago as ds tooth was going grey after he had hit his mouth on dd when they were jumping around.
I told them what would happen and they were very happy to go,the dentist was great,and even my daughter who is scared of anything wanted to sit in the chair with the light-they also got stickers after which always helps!
Maybe get them to choose their toothbrushes-mine love mickey mouse and cars so we try and buy them character stuff that they like to encourage them to use stuff.
Hope that helps in some way.

The thing is, if you don't hold them down and clean their teeth, the dentist will have to hold them down to sedate them while they extract the teeth.

Please, at least speak to a dentist about what they recommend rather than just listen to this page.

I think pin them down too. I have used the towel technique and it does work. they don't like it but at least it gets done. You do realise that dentists will report you for neglect if you don't brush your children's teeth. Is it worth not doing it to save a few tears?