To be failing so badly at baby tooth-cleaning?

[medievalgirl]

I have twins, almost 22 months old. The problem is that despite my best efforts, I have never managed to persuade them either to let me clean their teeth or even to try and do a bit of tooth-cleaning themselves.

There's a bit of background to this. They both had really bad reflux until recently, and getting anything into their mouths (milk, food, medicine) has always been challenging, to say the least. They don't really like putting anything in their mouths. In the early days I was wary of pushing the toothbrush issue too much because it seemed more important to persuade them to eat/drink. (Their percentiles were very low and they often lost weight.) But now they're beginning to eat better and don't look emaciated any more, I'm still failing to clean their teeth. Other issues do tend to take over (eg they're not walking or talking yet), but my guilt about the teeth problem rumbles on in the background.

I've tried:-

1. Encouraging them to copy me or my husband, by cleaning my teeth in front of them and making it a game.

1. Playing with toothbrushes in the bath. Or just playing with toothbrushes generally.

1. Sitting them on my lap in front of a mirror and introducing the brush so that they can see in the mirror what's happening and it's less threatening.

1. Trying to sneak the toothbrush into their mouths when they're laughing.

1. Using normal baby toothbrushes. Using Brushbabies.

But it doesn't work! The toothpaste is a no-no too, because they hate apple and hate mint.

Because they're not talking yet, I can't even try negotiating (eg can't promise them something nice if they clean their teeth first).

They are gorgeous but rather highly strung little chaps, and they don't like being fussed around generally (eg hate creams, nose wipes, etc).

I just don't know what else to try. And heaven knows how I'll take them to the dentist: there's NO WAY they'll open their mouths on demand for anyone!

It isn't quite a consensus. I'm with Ithinkitsjustme (it isn't just you). Talk to a dentist too. They often have good ideas for this. They may also be able to review their diet and give you an indication about how good/bad it is from a tooth decay perspective.

I completely agree with the majority that tooth cleaning is really important. But I also think not frightening small children is really important too. These children are already a little frightened of having things near their mouths because they had painful reflux. You don't want to increase their anxiety.

My own DD is a pain about toothbrushing because she just likes to do everything her own way, that is different and I'd have no qualms about pinning her down if need be.

If pinning is the only way to brush them, then you will have to pin! But I do think there is a difference between a parent pinning them to brush teeth (and then doing it as gently as possible) and a stranger in a strange place doing the same for (possibly painful) dental work. But that will be needed if they never have them brushed! I would try to avoid the nose-pinching though if you can, we never had to go that far and I imagine it would make it more traumatic. The main thing though is to get the message across that teeth WILL be brushed, and it can be either the nice way or the not-so-nice way. We didn't have to pin for long after that...

I found that changing tactics every so often also worked. At one point we did roaring like a lion, at other times we did tooth brushing in the bath (not sure why, but that sometimes seemed better than on "land"), or looking for different foods they had eaten on their teeth.

The most recent one that worked well, was me "singing" them one of their favourite songs, but with mouth wide open, while I brush - "inkle, inkle, ikkle ar" or "ah, ah, ack eep". That made them laugh and also seemed to get them to open their mouths wide in imitation.

DS gets his done in the bath (9mo), and I wait til he opens his mouth, toothbrush goes in, his 2 teeth get cleaned then he gets the brush to play with after (usually resulting in him chewing the bristles anyway). If needs be he'd be pinned down for it as I think its too important, but I just get on with it now and he has realised its getting done no matter what so the protesting is minimal now. He doesn't tolerate it so well on a morning but we're getting there

I usually sit cross legged on the floor with my DS across my knee like a cuddle and keep his head secure with my left arm while brushing his teeth with my right hand. As soon as he opens his mouth I pop the brush in. I think this is a nicer position for the child than the "pin 'em down" school of thought (as the child is semi reclined in your arms). But you can hold them quite securely to actually do the brushing which we'd all agree is important. I brush his like this on an evening but let him do his own teeth, perhaps with a quick finish from me, on a morning.

We were told the best way is to sit on the floor with them between your legs (head closest). That way you get a better look inside their mouth and it's a bit of a laugh for them seeing you upside down.

We used to have to hold DD1 down. Eventually she relented but would only use Daddy's toothbrush, not her own. They both survived but her teeth are not as good as her sister's (who was always good about doing her teeth of course just because big sis made such a fuss).

What worked very well for my DS4 was buying a cheap electric toothbrush (it was less than a fiver, with a rotating head that was non removable). He was very reluctant to have his teeth brushed with a "normal" toothbrush (we would lay him on his changing table to do it but it was not easy get him to open his mouth).

The electric brush seemed to both scare and fascinate him at first (he has seen us using our electric ones) - but it was easier to get the teeth clean with it as it spins round. After a few weeks he was really happy to have them brushed (now at 21 months he cries when you take the toothbrush away !).

thanks for this thread OP

my dd is 20 months old and has been brushing her own teeth and letting me 'finish the job' since she was 6 months old; UNTIL about a month ago...now she just clamps her mouth shut and wont entertain the idea. I was letting it ride, thinking the more fuss i make the harder it will be (i get in there every now and again). But maybe I will go into battle after-all

Been there op ds literally screamed when he was having his teeth brushed.

Not sure if I did the right thing but in the end I literally pinned him down and did them but you'd have thought he was being murdered.

He's got an electric toothbrush now and these are really good, only advice really is you will get there in the end if only when they are old enoguht o be reasoned with. Ds still hates it at age 4 but he knows he need to have them done or his teeth will go mouldy

My pediatric dentist advised us to stand behind our children and tilt the mouth open, its much easier to have control and see in to their mouths that way.

Children need help until they are able to achieve decent joined-up handwriting apparently. :)

Good Luck.

Honestly..it's probably the mint! I hate mint. Still do. I'm 38! I refused point blank to brush my teeth with toothpaste until I was about 9..using just water instead...until Mum managed to find some strawberry flavoured toothpaste. It did me no harm whatsoever (diet is what causes tooth decay, not a lack of brushing!!!) I have beautiful white strong teeth even if i say so myself!! (still won't use mint toothpaste today...have a phobia of watching other people brush their teeth and can't be watched brushing my own)

Please..you pin em down mothers...DON"T...I seriously think this would have left me with mental scarring if my mother had done this to me! Find some nice strawberry, or orange, or lime flavoured paste instead.

With dd I put a chair by the sink so I can put my foot on it and perch her on my knee. Then she has her own tooth brush to 'do' her teeth (ie chew brush) while she can see me doing mine in the mirror. I have a second toothbrush for her that I then use to actually clean her teeth. I've been doing this since she was a few months old (without the toothbrush) because she used to scream if I put her down!

We started with the pin-em-down technique, having 'brushed' on of his toys' teeth first. We also sing nursery rhymes while we are doing it. It makes us less stressed about it and ensures that we do it for long enough. I think you need to tell them that you are going to brush their teeth and it will just take a minute, get on with it and then big hugs and swiftly moving on once you are done.

Hope it goes well tonight. You know you are doing the right thing and it really, really will get easier.

Thinking about it more, if your twins have what is essentially a phobia about putting things in their mouths I don't know that any of the techniques discussed will be very effective & the 'pin 'em down' might be very distressing. More so than for the average 'being a bit bolshy' toddler, I mean.

Given it's gone on for so long, I can't see another week making a huge difference to the state of their teeth. So could you get a load of toothbrushes (so there is always one to hand) and for a few days make a big deal over them eg look! A toothbrush, now I can clean my teeth! (bit of exaggerated brushing) That was great! Does anyone else want a go?? And loads of praise when they get it anywhere near their faces. If you do this every hour, but without any pressure on them, maybe they'll progress enough to see if it's effective or you'll go completely insane and be locked up.

haven't read the whole thing yet but DS has just turned 2 and we only really got it sorted into an every-night thing in the last 3-4 months, so here's what's worked for us:

(1) Bribery: He's only just really got this one in the last few months, and it's made tooth-brushing possible. He brushes his teeth, he gets a sticker and a round of applause.

(2) Captivity: he does it while sitting in the bath, to much praise, applause, singing of the 'brush, brush, brush your teeth' song (and many more! sigh...). Once we had him out of the bath he wanted stories, and wouldn't concentrate. Sitting in the bath it's less infuriating watching him faff around, and easier to supervise.

(3) Power. He has 2 toothbrushes and gets to chose one. One has Elmo on it, one has Big Bird, I think. Both are talked to quite a lot. He also gets to choose between 'fruity' toothpaste and 'ice cream' (vanilla) toothpaste. Tom's of maine do a good non-minty, non-strong stawberry one with flouride.

I did pin him down a bit when he was smaller but he started biting me really quite hard, and that lost its appeal fast. Happily he'll now do just about anything for a sticker! Now to get it properly entrenched in the morning routine, and I can feel like a competent mother!

My 5mo gets her teeth done with baby toothpaste on a cloth.

Occasionally a toothbrush

Dentist appointment booked for jan.

My niece had 6 teeth out at 2 nearly 3 - it was awful!

Kayano that's scary - makes me understand more why people would go for the pinning down approach. I didn't realise that was so common at all. I haven't tried it I have to say and can't imagine it would work for my DD. I have to pin her to do things like nose drops from time to time (a one second job) and it is hell, as she fights with every ounce of her actually fairly impressive strength and gets into an absolute state.

Like the OP's DTs she can't talk and this does make bribery/stickers etc. much harder to use effectively. We have days where she'll let us and days where she won't. On the whole she's getting better. She sits on my hip to do it and we do a range of things (I sing, let her brush my teeth etc). If all else fails, she finds it really funny if I tip her backwards and she opens her mouth to laugh and lets me brush them a bit. This is tiring and you have to keep an excellent grip in her, so it's not exactly a solid gold tip. Just to say, you're not the only one struggling! I'm sure if you keep chipping away at it and trying your best twice a day, you'll get there.

Can you get them those chewy brushes for babies, as a starter? I don't know where you get them (DH found it) but dd (10 months) loves hers. It has very soft silicone bristles on both sides and she just chomps on it with a very tiny smear of toothpaste on it.
Then when they are used to the concept you can move on to a conventional brush. And if you can't bear pinning them down, try getting them to lie in bed and open wide. DS is happy to co-operate with that one.

DS had reflux and also a very strong gag reflex. The electric toothbrush worked for DS too. At the beginning we put it all over his body to tickle him whenever we brushed our teeth and then he wanted to feel it in his mouth. We then sang a funny song to him when putting the brush in his mouth and if he drew back or pulled the brush out of his mouth we would stop singing. He was desperate for us to continue the song so would willingly open his mouth again.
I think an electric toothbrush with different flavoured toothpastes (Lidl does an orange one) would be a good option for you, as it means that it is doing a lot of the work for you while you may be struggling holding onto a wriggly child with the other hand, and even if you can only get it in for 20secs at first because they are so efficient it will hopefully get the worst off.

Oh and don't brush within 30mins of eating anything acidic eg fruit or fruit juice, as that softens the enamel which can then be eroded by brushing. If they have fruit for breakfast brush their teeth as soon as they get up, not after breakfast.

What used to work for our twins was to lie them on the floor and lean over them, give them a brush too and let them brush your teeth while you brush theirs. It's a bit messy and you get poked in the eye a fair bit, but it seemed to distract them long enough to get the job done!

Bottom line is you just have to find a way, even if they don't like it - tough, they just have to get used to it. They'll like toothache, needles, fillings and general anaesthetics for extractions far less.

My DS loves toothpaste - but too eat. He will happily put the toothbrush in his mouth and eat the paste. However, short of getting DH to pin his arms by his side (and he isn't usually home at bathtime, when we do his teeth), I find it hard to actually brush his teeth.

Can I just add another thank you for all these responses. I'm reading them all and thinking and planning... The fact that the twins aren't talking or understanding much yet limits things a bit - eg they wouldn't understand the concept of a reward for brushing and wouldn't understand choosing their own toothbrush, but there are plenty of ideas here.

I fear it may yet come to holding them down (poor mites), but I'm also going to buy an electric toothbrush.

Sorry for lack of individual responses, but I have read through all your posts. Must dash - babies waking up!

swaddle in a towel and hold while dh cleans the teeth (I find swaddling in a towel better than dealing with thrashing limbs)

Forgot to add... and yes, I will make an appointment for them to see the dentist.