To be failing so badly at baby tooth-cleaning?

[medievalgirl]

I have twins, almost 22 months old. The problem is that despite my best efforts, I have never managed to persuade them either to let me clean their teeth or even to try and do a bit of tooth-cleaning themselves.

There's a bit of background to this. They both had really bad reflux until recently, and getting anything into their mouths (milk, food, medicine) has always been challenging, to say the least. They don't really like putting anything in their mouths. In the early days I was wary of pushing the toothbrush issue too much because it seemed more important to persuade them to eat/drink. (Their percentiles were very low and they often lost weight.) But now they're beginning to eat better and don't look emaciated any more, I'm still failing to clean their teeth. Other issues do tend to take over (eg they're not walking or talking yet), but my guilt about the teeth problem rumbles on in the background.

I've tried:-

1. Encouraging them to copy me or my husband, by cleaning my teeth in front of them and making it a game.

1. Playing with toothbrushes in the bath. Or just playing with toothbrushes generally.

1. Sitting them on my lap in front of a mirror and introducing the brush so that they can see in the mirror what's happening and it's less threatening.

1. Trying to sneak the toothbrush into their mouths when they're laughing.

1. Using normal baby toothbrushes. Using Brushbabies.

But it doesn't work! The toothpaste is a no-no too, because they hate apple and hate mint.

Because they're not talking yet, I can't even try negotiating (eg can't promise them something nice if they clean their teeth first).

They are gorgeous but rather highly strung little chaps, and they don't like being fussed around generally (eg hate creams, nose wipes, etc).

I just don't know what else to try. And heaven knows how I'll take them to the dentist: there's NO WAY they'll open their mouths on demand for anyone!

Agree with everyone who says pin them down. Dd (22 months) varies between letting us help her and flat out refusing to do it. Dp holds her while i brush. She really doesn't like us doing it that way but quickly learnt that all she has to do it open her mouth and it's over quickly. We only have to do it the hard way every so often now when she's refusing to do it any other way. Agree also with letting them try it themselves in the morning but making sure it's done properly before bed. It is horrible but it'd be more horrible to have to have their teeth pulled out because they're rotten.

Singing, stories about favourite characters that the toothbrush can then "find" in the child's mouth, looking for Thomas the tank, octonauts or whoever coming out of their mouth...

If all else fails, wrap in towel and get on with it. Tooth brushing is non-negotiable in our house too.

OP my DS was a reflux baby (now 17 months). He is also terrified of anybody putting anything (food, toothbrush etc) near his mouth. I use an electric toothbrush but it's still a fight. My DH discovered in the last few days that DS is more co-operative if you lie him on his back on the bed and give him my iPhone, which he loves. You then get a better view of his teeth.

I am terrified that his teeth will be slowly rotting as he is still drinking a high calorie milk which is very sweet (he has been failure to thrive in the past).

Without wanting to hijack the thread, can I ask how long people spend brushing in one session. I'm lucky if I get 30 seconds. Should I be trying for more?

Holly id be impressed if anyone manages more than 30 seconds with a toddler. Thats about all i manage.

DD is just over a year. Toothbrushing as an issue and I mentioned it to the denist when I was having my teeth done. He gave me a few different toothpastes to try and DD likes a berry flavoured one.

He also had me bring her in and showed me different techniques for brushing her teeth. One was to lie her down and tilt her head back - he used her remote control toy to keep her in that position. The mouth naturally opens and you can see all of the teeth. What works for us is putting her in her high chair and getting her to make faces. We make a little game out of it and I use far more toothpaste than I should but it's fluoride free. The dentist said he prefers I use too much toothpaste and brush her teeth properly.

Holly I get about 30 seconds in but go back in until I get about 1min 30 secs to 2 mins.

also - dentist recommended that DD drink water after drinking or eating anything sugary. He said it doesn't matter if it's only a couple of sips.

I aim for 2 mins with a toddler, covering each side of every tooth.

Another 'pin them down-er' here. My DS hated having his teeth brushed and now his younger sister does. I asked the dentist for advice and he said there's no need to pin them down for 2 minutes, just make sure you cover every surface and then stop. With DD we let her chew on the toothbrush in the morning but pin her down in the evening if he we have to. We try all the more gentle/fun techniques first though and sometimes they work.

DS outgrew his toothbrushing hatred by 2.5 - like you say OP, at the age when he could be reasoned with a bit more. He certainly wasn't traumatised by being forced to brush his teeth. He happily goes to the dentist and always has. Same for DD.

The pinning and pinching doesn't last forever! I would say once we had teethbrushing into our bedtime routine, it became much easier and they'd only kick off every so often. They don't hate mint and now they love cleaning their teeth. I let them do it for a bit, then I have a go to make sure they're really clean.

Primark do some good brushes - they've got little Spiderman's and Hulks and other Marvel men dangling from them which are a great distraction.

Sorry, but they need a bit of tough love and agree with the pinning down. You might want to ask DH to help "do" the other twin simultaneously, or else one of them will get scared watching you pin the other down, and will run away!

DD used to scream but there was no negotiation about brushing teeth. She stopped screaming about a week or two later, and started enjoying brush time.

At the risk of making a rod for your own back (eg having to do it every time) you could try using a handpuppet to hold the brush - my kids think this is very funny, especially the naughty sheep who brushes their cheeks and noses too.
For slightly older kids you can try 'cleaning the house' eg, I'm cleaning the kitchen and living room (bottom teeth), cleaning the bedrooms (top teeth), polishing the windows (front of teeth)...

My 2 year old DS also hates brushing his teeth. I spoke to the dentist and she was quite laid back about it and said not to worry too much at this stage. As long as he has a go at brushing himself first and then lets us do some for him, it should be OK providing he is not having lots of sugary food/drinks. She also painted his teeth with some protective stuff which helps too.

DDs favourite teddy brushes hers 99% of the time, the other 1% I pin her down. Teeth brushing is non negotiable in this house.

Definitely pin.

A combination of circumstance meant that I was inexcusably shit about brushing DS2's teeth. He has decay in 2 teeth. I will never, ever forgive myself, and am now obsessively making sure they don't get worse. Believe me, you do not want to spot decay

Get brushing.

I'm a dentist, while I perhaps would not go as far as pinning down, it does need to be done and a degree of physical restraint is necessary, physical restraint within a loving family is highly unlikely to do any damage.

I have seen too many 3-4 years old screaming with toothache but totally unable to treat as will not open mouth, and their parents can not make them, so if can not see inside mouth for even 6 seconds no hope of diagnosis so then kid has to endure more pain.

In the end making them brush their teeth is the kindest thing to do, all children need a degree of supervision until 7, otheriwse first adult molats come in at back no-one clean them as do not realise they are there and within a year first adult tooth has a hole.

referring children for multiple extractions for decay is no fun, putting your child through possible toothache and extractions because you want to avoid making them do something that is momentarily uncomfortable at worst is not really no.

my own DD is 2.5 and does not like me brushing her teeth she is independent soul and favourite words for anything are "all by myself" this in her eyes applies to brushing teeth, crossing roads, climbing anything She hates me holding her down to brush teeth but I hold her like I was treating her so she is lying in front of me and I clean her teeth from behind you can see better to clean and have more control. A towel like a swaddling cuddle is good idea

however do not place their head, directly under your chin as if they jolt head back quickly you will be the one needing dentistry as it could chip your own front teeth

try and keep to meal times as frequency of sugar intake matters more than quantity, constant snacking is bad for teeth even if just fruit or sultanas

While ideally they should only drink milk or water but I am a realist, my DD would rather dehydrate than drink either, she will take about 1 spoonful of milk on cereal or banana milkshake, loves fruit juice but I restrict it to meal times

Can I drop another thank you in at this point. I never expected such a big response! Husband is home now and we've had a long chat about it.

I agree that it's best to hug them from the back, but with their back slightly to the side. I pin their legs with mine and wrap one arm around the torso and arms then have the other arm free to brush teeth. Sing a jaunty song (there's a lazy town tooth brushing one, twenty times?) and keep reassuring them that everything is fine, it's just very important that they brush there own teeth.

If they scream it's easier to get the tooth brush in!

It really doesn't last forever. DD is 3.4 now and I can't remember the last time I had to pin, she quite enjoys it now.

DD2 is 22 months and hated having her teeth brushed. Not being an expert (and not being aware of the very good advice given above re. brushing from behind) I used sit her sideways to put one arm around my back, cuddle her and hold her other hand with the one I was cuddling with. Like a bear hug.

She screamed which, while not pleasant, does mean you can easily reach their teeth and give them a good clean.

At 22 months, she has worked out that it's much nicer to sit with her mouth open while I clean them. She still has the odd moan but she knows how to say 'arrr' and open her mouth wide.