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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going on holiday just isn't worth it anymore

92 replies

MuggledWoman · 30/07/2012 02:59

Once again, the night before we go on holiday and DS (20 months) is awake and crying. By the time we've got him settled that'll be no more sleep for DH and I. Which means we'll start the holiday tired. DS will sleep appallingly all week, as he generally does when we're away from home and by the end of the holiday we'll just want to be back at home because we're all so knackered. Not sure why we bother going anymore! Anyone else find holidays just aren't that relaxing now that they have DCs? Sitting in bed fuming right now at the prospect of a plane journey tomorrow when we're all exhausted already! Wouldn't mind a one-off but this seems to happen the night before we go away anywhere, even if it's just to one of our parents for the weekend.

OP posts:
TheQueenOfDiamonds · 30/07/2012 03:06

My son is always at his worst when I have a busy day planned. It infuriates me and is very testing!

ENormaSnob · 30/07/2012 06:37

We find later flights easier with dc.

The last time we flew at 6am we had a similar problem to yourself.

NorksAreMessy · 30/07/2012 06:42

Totally agree.
Holidays always seem stressful, and I don't even have tiny DC.
Mind you, I have moved house three times in two years, that has all the stress of a holiday (money, packing, new place) so perhaps I am confusing the two :o

I hope you can have a lovely time ANYWAY muggled

Nohairlefttopull · 30/07/2012 06:48

We got to the point with ds1 (4) not sleeping before a holiday, that last time we tried not telling him at all till the day we left (I did the packing when he was in bed etc). Thought it might make him less upset by the while thing if he just didnt know.

We told him the morning we were going, and he was very confused. We went away fine, and came back fine but a couple of weeks after, he said,"it was a great holidY, but next time, tell me before we go", so although he slept well the night before, overall it upsrt him more not to know, and to be surprised by it.

So you can't win. And yes, I think holidays are less relaxing when you have kids - no two ways about it, but they can also be great fun once you actually get there. Bet you look back in a few years time and think it was great fun - rose tinited glasses and all that.

Hope you enjoy it anyway.

amillionyears · 30/07/2012 06:54

We had several young children close in age.We ventured no further than Butlins for several years.All had a happy,relatively stress free time,as kids were occupied and we could relax if we wanted.Also took along another adult to help with the kiddie care,so any of us adults could sneak off and do our own thing.
Disclaimer,havent been to Butlins in several years now,so dont know what it is like nowadays.

CornishKK · 30/07/2012 06:57

YANBU.

Holidays = same shit in an inconvenient location

MoreBeta · 30/07/2012 07:37

YANBU. We didnt go for several years when we had very small children. Too stressful and the children are too small to even care anyway.

We are going away at the end of this week and TBH am still somewhat sceptical that we are really going to enjoy it with 10 and 12 yr old boys.

DW likes laying on a lounger by the pool but the boys want to do sport or other activities or wander about unsupervised with other teenagers which always spells trouble. In the end I feel stuck in the middle trying to make everyone happy and come back feeling it wasn't really a holiday and definitley not worth the money.

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2012 07:42

Kids club! Or take granny along!

MoreBeta · 30/07/2012 07:44

To me 'going on holiday' almost seems like an outdated idea that we shouls all question a bit more. Especially, the going to somewhere hot and sunny on a plane for two weeks. It didnt used to be the norm to do that until the 1970s and the advent of package holidays. I sort of think we need to take a step back.

Greekstartedit · 30/07/2012 07:49

I see it often here with people on holiday.
Little ones are usually a ball of tired crying frustration by the time it's the end of the holiday.
Older ones are often left to do their own thing. Amazing how many teens spend their holiday in reception with the free wifi.
The only holiday I tend to go on is to my inl-laws Hmm which can't honestly be classed as a holiday but I just tend to go with the flow.

I think we all make a image of what a holiday is going to be like and it very rarely matches to that. I am guilty of imagining what a day at the beach will be like with mine and rarely matches up and I live here so should know better.

bigTillyMint · 30/07/2012 07:49

YABU

If you have DC then you should accept that holidays will not be like they were pre-DC, but that if you plan around the DC, then you can all have a great time. Camping is great with DC as once they are 5 or so, they can have far more freedom than they usually have at home.

MoreBeta, I am intrigued as to why a holiday with 10 and 12 yo boys would be unpleasant. Why can't they do the sports/wander about unsupervised? That's what my DC have been doing on holiday since they were tiny (although when they were younger they did do some "drop-ins" at kids clubs when we were on hotel-somewhere-hot holidays!)

MoreBeta · 30/07/2012 07:55

"Amazing how many teens spend their holiday in reception with the free wifi. "

That is pretty much what our DSs will probably tend to do when not doing golf and tennis. We will end up doing very little together except eat lunch and suggesting we go and look at an art gallery or go on a trip or doing something a bit cultural will be met with Hmm] and general apathy.

LindyHemming · 30/07/2012 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta · 30/07/2012 07:57

Hmm]

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/07/2012 07:58

MoreBeta - don't you go to Mark Warner or Club Med or Sunsail? Supervised activities for the boys, sun loungers for your DW and the bar for you.

We just go away less than we used to and stay in lovely places where there is some optional childcare on hand. Self-catering with small children is worse than staying at home, because you don't have all the things you have at home to make life easier!

Badvoc · 30/07/2012 08:03

Yanbu
We go in the uk now and will continue to whilst the kids are small.
In a few years we are planning something big though :)
In 7 years it's our 20th wedding anniversary....we are planning a round the world trip!!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/07/2012 08:03

I've found that since ours got to about 3 and 5 it has got easier and easier (they are 6 and 8 now), we either camp or rent cottages in this country or France. It was hard when they were younger though, the disrupted sleep, unfamiliar food etc. Once they get beyond about 3 they sleep better, you don't need to take so much stuff (pushchairs etc), they can walk good distances, toilet and play more independently, enjoy a far greater variety of days out etc. At the moment they love all the simple stuff, beaches, rock pooling, splash pools, playing hide and seek in NT gardens, playing games on the campsite with other children. We're trying to make the most of it before they start turning into teenagers.....

wanttomakeadifference · 30/07/2012 08:07

I think its so tricky when everyone has different expectations for their holiday, and do much is invested emotionally in 'having a good time'.

Eg in Beta's case DW wants to chill by pool; boys want to cut loose, be sporty, use wifi, Beta wants everyone to do things as a family unit maybe with some cultural stuff thrown in (apologies if that's an unfair assumption).

Maybe it's easier in this case to all just do whatever makes your holiday work for you?

DP and I try to have a chat about what we each hope to do on our holidays and then work out how to make that happen. Not always simple though Grin.

bigTillyMint · 30/07/2012 08:10

What do you do all day on holiday?

The DC have always made friends with other children on holiday and/or we have gone with friends, so they entertain each other - usual beach activities, lots of swimming, running about on campsites, ball games, scooters/bikes, etc. Also reading, drawing, playing cards, etc, etc.

Obviously it gets much easier as they get older and more independent.

I agree, MoreBeta, sound like Mark Warner, etc would be great for you all!

Babylon1 · 30/07/2012 08:10

You're just choosing the wrong type of holiday IMO! Wink

We haven't done a package holiday/plane trip in 6 years (since our honeymoon) - yet we've been around Europe, Disneyland Paris etc as well as exploring the British coastline, all from the safety and privacy and convenience of our little campervan Grin

DDs are 7&2 years and DS is now 13 weeks. Last year we were away exploring Europe for just shy of 5 weeks, and next week we're off to Cornwall for a couple of weeks. If that goes well (ds' first trip) we'll be off to France at end of august for another couple of weeks Grin

Chandon · 30/07/2012 08:10

yes it is hard, but it does not matter, just sleep when babe sleeps once you are on hols (ie take siestas).

Also, once they are bigger it'll be fine.

have a good hol!

MoreBeta · 30/07/2012 08:13

Alibaba - yes we did Club Med for two years which was good but now DS1 finds the kids club too 'babyish'. Hence he wants to just wander about with a gang of teenage boys doing whatever he pleases.

Badvoc - next year we are planning a round the world trip too. Partly because it wil be the last chance to travel with the boys before they really do not want to be with us.

DS1 is going on a ski trip with school next year and that may be the future for all of us. Separate holidays and then maybe a week together doing something we all enjoy - but not necessarily going on a plane.

bigTillyMint · 30/07/2012 08:15

OP, I agree with Chandon, you have to "go with the flow" when you have a small child - don't bother tryig to make them stick to their home-routine (learned through bitter experience!) - bed-times have to be more flexible and siestas for all are the way to go!

Actually, camping is good for routines - we have holiday routines (which have evolved over time) because although we go to different places, it is always the same tent/sleeping arrangements, so even small DC know what to expect.

bigTillyMint · 30/07/2012 08:17

MoreBeta, what is wrong with your DS1 wandering about? It's his holiday too! Our DC are 13 and 11 and we don't attempt to do everything together - that would be so claustrophobic!

SuiGeneris · 30/07/2012 08:17

Could it be that the children pick up on your anxiety? Ours are only 2.5 and three months but we travel abroad every 2/3 months to see grandparents with no issues.
Perhaps try spreading the packing over a few days, so you don't get so stressed about it, and book a later flight? Also introduce new foods to DC before going, so that there are less unfamiliar things?

Surprised people think self-catering is a hassle. We prefer it because you are more in control of eating etc and it is easier to have a rest/ eat while the children sleep in the next room...

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