To think that going on holiday just isn't worth it anymore

[MuggledWoman]

Once again, the night before we go on holiday and DS (20 months) is awake and crying. By the time we've got him settled that'll be no more sleep for DH and I. Which means we'll start the holiday tired. DS will sleep appallingly all week, as he generally does when we're away from home and by the end of the holiday we'll just want to be back at home because we're all so knackered. Not sure why we bother going anymore! Anyone else find holidays just aren't that relaxing now that they have DCs? Sitting in bed fuming right now at the prospect of a plane journey tomorrow when we're all exhausted already! Wouldn't mind a one-off but this seems to happen the night before we go away anywhere, even if it's just to one of our parents for the weekend.

Both my children have always been ok on holiday. They're 12 and 9 now and never seem to be home so holidays are family time and we ensure that we do make it family time. We had a short break in a caravan and it was fab just being the 4 of us.

I do think you need to change your expectations when they are younger.

Maybe your expectations are too high?
I love holidays with dc but they are simple and child based.
The dc spend all day splashing about in the pool or playing in the sand and we tend to take turns playing with them while the other chills for a while.
Also we do tend to stick to a similar routine to at home and not have too many late nights so the dc aren't grumpy the next day.
Each to their own but that is what works for us at the moment!

morebeta Could you all go skiing? We did that as our main family holiday for years when I was a kid. Dsis and I would go to ski school all day (from when I was 6 and she was 4), armed with our rudimentary German and funds for chips and coke, and M&D would do some powder busting a deux. The they'd pick us up at 4pm and we'd spend the late afternoon/evening together. We learned lots of German swearing and developed "bff" friendships which dissolved after 1 letter each way. Happy days...........really hope my kids like skiing.

For now (toddler and baby) we go down the catered villa route and tend to go as a group with friends with children the same age.

Beta I don't understand the issue really. Club Med etc have loads to do for teenagers, and what is wrong with hanging about with other kids for some of the time?

Also somewhat mystified about not being able to go away together once they are older than 12/13, I went on holiday with my parents during Uni holidays to do things like skiing. However if you won't let them do anything then perhaps no wonder they don't want to come with you!

Being able to afford a holiday would be good right now! Can't see it happening any time soon though! You are all lucky! (bitter and twisted emoticon !!)

Another who goes on holiday in Britain. Our favourite is a Scottish island we know well. Involves going on a ferry so we get that holiday experience. Kids love it.

Once youngest dc get to about 4 or 5 we'll venture abroad again. Maybe.

I think you are choosing the wrong type of holiday.

Since having children we have only had one holiday abroad (mainly due to finances). We have loved our British holidays, walking along a blustery beach, picnics in the rain, visiting wildlife parks and national trust properties. It is a lot of fun. I don't think I would enjoy queuing at an airport or being on a crowded Spanish beach. A holiday is what you make of it.

I think I'd agree that you're choosing the wrong type of holiday. Holidays after having children are different from those before, but that doesn't mean less enjoyable. We have 2 boys - 7 and 4 - who have always loved going away. We usually go to a caravan in this country or France which is great for young children. They love the swimming pool and just being able to play out. We've also used the kids clubs for ds1. We've also been to self catering cottages with family. The only thing that doesn't normally work is hotels so we tend to go just for 1 or 2 nights.

At 10 my kids take some responsibility for themselves, eg. What they wear, putting on sun tan etc. I tell them things like the sun is hotter, put on sun tan etc. Or in Florida, "you can't go into the pool if there is a thunderstorm" But by 10 they have a lot of chance to make their own choices.
Our family holidays have included lots of things you can't do with kids so: long driving holidays, walking (including hills), visiting museums etc. But also added to pre-kids we have visited far more parks and other children's attractions.

Holidays for us are great chances to be together as a family, but we have also used kids clubs from time to time.

We did several holidays in France, and I discovered, even though we only live 1 hour from a port; that I always slept badly the night before. We solved this by staying in a cheap hotel near the ports instead. We've done the same with airports, a holiday is so much better after a good nights sleep.

Yes skiing is a great family holiday!

And we intend to keep holidaying as a family till they are at least 18 (I can't imagine being able to leave them home-alone - my nerves wouldn't stand the worry about the house !)

I didn't really enjoy holidays when my children were very young. I found them stressful. So much stuff to take, upset routines. I was very anxious away from my home turf. Much of it was irrational I know and I longed to be one of those free and easy, relaxed travelling mums. But I wasn't. Now they're older, I love holidays with them. They both have pull along suitcases and do their own packing and can enjoy just chilling out. It's great. So, I hear where you're coming from and it will get better.

I have to say that I disagree. Yes holidays are more work, but we all have a great time together. I say this as someone who had 2 under 15 months at one point. They are now 5&4 and are used to travelling. I get prepared with 'stuff' to keep them occupied on journeys. I agree with another poster who said that camping is great to increase young kids independence. If you don't like camping here what about France? No long plane journeys, throw home comforts in the car, stop when you want and not have to worry if they ar having a bad day as the only people it disturbs is you and dh!

The OP says its the same even going away for a weekend at the GPs though, so it's not just about the choice of holiday. Pack further in advance, plan your journey times and take comforting things from home are my main suggestions for unsettled DCs, but hang on in there, it definitely gets easier. Hope you got off on holiday OK today OP.

Actually, that's another benefit of staying in this country, or ferry to France etc, you can take more of the DCs home comforts, teddies, books, blankets, favourite cups etc than you can on a plane.

We love our family holiday with our dds - now 3 and 5 but this will be our third year taking them abroad for 2 weeks. We just go to a caravan in France, we do very little except swim and potter and all 4 of us love it. Camping gives kids so much freedom, our elder dd loves going to the shop "on her own" ie with us outside! To get bread etc in the mornings!

I was taken on the same holiday as a child and it was lovely so I am keen for the girls to get the same experience and love knowing how much they are enjoying themselves. I think you have to shape the holiday around things you all want to do. I holidayed with my parents til I was 19 and they come with us for a week now too. I do think it is a pity if people can't find something you would all enjoy doing, as I think you get a different kind of shared time from all being away together without the routine of home, work, school etc

I agree, you have to adapt your holiday to suit the ages and needs of your DC.
DS was happy to dig on a beach for hours when he was small, but now he is teenage,we focus the holiday on something of interest to him.
Have done surfing holiday in Cornwall, and city breaks in London (including day trip to Paris) and York. Lots of museums and attractions (some of which we paid for on Tesco clubcard points - so not always shelling out cash!) We seem to be constantly on the go when we are away 'tis planned like a well ordered school trip.

I no longer consider our annual holiday to be a "holiday" - just a change of scenery. I am looking forward to the days when DS is too old to come on holiday with us and trustworthy enough to be left in our house unsepervised to having the sort of laze by the pool holiday that we had before DC came along

We're on holiday right this minute - I am on the terrace of apartment in a Polaris world golf resort over looking beautiful pool. This is our first foreign trip since ds was a baby (he's now give plus dd was one just the other day) and I've been pleasantly surprised at how it has gone. Daytime we've chilled by the pool, playing with the kids in shifts. They've taken siestas and so have we, and we've even managed to have a few evening meals out - they've adapted really well to a completely different routine. The iPad has been a godsend for all concerned and I see no shame in that. No its not like the holidays Dh and I had before the kids came along (boozy, long lie ins lots of sex and cultural stuff) but there's time for that.

We had a six am flight too and it was a pita but it's only a couple of hours.

We had a "staycation" last year. Stayed at home but were definitely on holiday. No packing, no disruption to little children (although DS was 12 so not really an issue for us). Eating out for lunch and dinner, cinema, daytrips to the local tourist attractions, lazing in the back garden when tired (or sitting in cafés). No housework beyond what I would do in a rented holiday cottage.

I really enjoyed it.

You know what ? I bet because you are expecting i to e so bad, It wil go well for you an you'll hav a fab time!!

holidays are an absolute joy

we have taken out kids on holiday since they were little-we took ds2 to portugal when he was 9 months and he learnt to crawl in the apartment

i really really really do not 'get' ' people saying tht holidays aren't worth it/are stressful or whatever

the prep is stressful but once you set off , it's fab!

Well, we arrived. To his credit, DS was a star yesterday. We had a three hour train journey after arriving in Switzerland...turns out the Swiss trains have family carriages, complete with slides and soft play....he was in heaven the whole journey! We're now safely at our friends house, DS still asleep, DH out for a walk and me in bed with a view of the Swiss alps...I think I was just being grumpy and tired in my original post...things looking up!

Hope you have a lovely time in Switzerland. Swiss trains are great aren't they? :)

I'm glad it's all worked out ok - have a fab holiday!

Have a good holiday :)

I went on a hideous holiday when my youngest son was an older baby. We were dragged on a package holiday with extended family and it was exhausting. We learnt from it and have had pretty good holidays ever since.

IME there's a window between around 4/5 and 10 (depending on children) where you can all have a great time together.

Before that it's same shit, different walls.

After that there's a high chance of moody hormonal scowling things whose lives you have ruined.

Although that's probably just mine.

Holidays = same shit in an inconvenient location

YY