to think this was unpleasant and unnecesscary

[melonandpapayaandmango]

I took the DCs to the beach this morning: we played and paddled, then had lunch in a small cafe. The seafront is littered with small cafes.

We were in front of the window, and the cafe was one of those where the windows were huge. My DD (5) suddenly squealed, "Mummy, I can see that girl's bottom!" I looked where she was lookingand indeed a woman (presumably child's mother) was holding a girl who's leggings and knickers were round her ankles above a drain to pee in.

I have nipped behind a bush with DS before (DD has always been far too prim ) but I would never have one of them pee in public within spitting distance of toilets!

AIBU?

Sometimes, I suppose, it is necessary.

I havn't seen drain peeing in years MY dds would never have done it But i used to see it quite alot when mine were small . least she was making sure it was down the drain i spose

Spitting distance of public loos or cafe loos? I don't suppose the cafes are delighted at being used as free loo facilities by beachgoers, perhaps they discourage non-customers.

YANBU, if there's public toilets right nearby.

On the same topic, one of my colleagues lives next to a primary school. He has caught mothers on their way to / from the school letting their small children have a poo in his front garden (behind his hedge) before.

I'm a real prude and always do my cat's bum mouth at mothers doing this with children in full view. You would object to older ones weeing in full view so don't teach small children to wee in public, fgs find somewhere a bit more private.

There are public loos on the beach, I can see how with a child in an emergency it might be hard to reach. Personally I'd go in a cafe though - even if I had to buy a drink. I really felt to hold up a half naked weeing child (in front of people eating!) was a bit unpleasant.

their small children have a poo in his front garden (behind his hedge) before.

That is disgusting I would have to say something to them

How old was the girl? Unless she was 5+ I think YABU, sorry.
My 3 year old can't hang on for long yet, is too small to easily use a toilet, plus most public toilets are grubby and horrible ime. I would probably have her use a potty and tip it down the drain, but its basically the same thing

I suppose she thought she'd have to buy something to use the cafe toilets. You do in most of the ones along our sea front. Even if you don't you still have to cope with the "Oooh, look mum, icecream, mum I want a icecream. Mum I wanna icecream. IwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecreamIwannaicecream Waiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllll"

It went down the drain. No harm done. YABU.

The children pooing is beyond disgusting.

Pushme, hard to say, I'd estimate the same age as DD and she was 5 this month.

i remember being hung over the drain of the dual carriageway at the bottom of our road when we were kids.
When you need to go you need to go!
Now if the lady had squatted over the drain, well i think that would be a bit much.

I've tried twice now and I just can't get fussed about a child peeing into a drain.

Most public toilets are disgusting anyway at the beach.

Any chance the woman was foreign ? I live abroad and I see this all the time and no-one here wuld bat an eyelid.

I let DD2 (5) wee on the grass in the park last week, completely screened by a big towel. I'm heavily pg, I was the lone adult with a pile of bags/clothes/shoes and there's ONE loo for the entire park covering paddling pool, model boating lake, two play parks, skate park, bowling green, tea pavilion etc etc. ONE loo! And it was a heaving summer day.

With tinies having a wee, it really doesn't bother me. An emergency's an emergency, and maybe the mum didn't have the money or time to buy something in a cafe so they could use the customer toilets, as a lot of places are particular about that. Would probably try to find a bush or something, but needs must. Saw a woman holding a small child to pee at the side of our local cycle path the other day - she was really embarrassed when she saw me coming but I just can't get het up about things like that.

OTOH, am shocked at patosullivan's colleague's problem - pooing in someone's front garden is a bit bloody much!

Colleague has spoken to the mothers he's spotted, but it still happens.

He complained to the primary school too, but they said that as it's not their property, it's not their problem.

Well I don't think YABU as it's each to their won, but it wouldn't have offended me. Also we don't know the situation; if you are truly desperate you don't always have time to get to a loo that's even close. Better in a drain than on the pavement.

Peeriebear - I don't know, to be honest.

I would never do it but each to her own I suppose. It wasn't really what I wanted to see when tucking into my sandwich although the absolute horror of my DD was quite funny!

We used to live in a flat where you had to come off the road into a large driveway to get to garden/garages. Went out of house one morning to find a man had driven into the driveway and his son was pooing in our garden. When DH challenged he was told to fuck off.... Some people just don't care.

I think yabu. The wee went into a drain so presumably won't smell too much or pool so that people step in it. Why do you find the brief sight of a little girl's bum so offensive? It wouldn't bother me at all- I suspect it would barely register in fact.

Pooing in someone's front garden, on the other hand, is extremely out of order.

Goodness, you are easily offended. Over the years I have seen loads of small children being held over a drain for a wee. I have also done the same with DD. I only did this if there wern't any toilets nearby though, and somewhere a bit more private.

Maybe the toddler just did it and Mum was trying to make the best of the situation at hand.

My 3 year old has twice suddenly dropped her pants for a pee! I have no idea why. Once was in the middle of a park, and I managed to drag her over to some bushes, and once was in the middle of the street, I had to make do with getting her as far away from where anyone would walk in it as possible.

I was quite embarassed but what could I do? Let her pee herself and have to walk home with a piss soaked 3 year old?

I sort of mind and sort of don't....some DC just can't wait....but I DO think that parents need to try and conceal their DC's bottoms...it's not very dignified for th child is it?

I DO think DC have dignity too.

DD is 2 but looks more like 4. She has been out of nappies for about 6 weeks now and we do have to do wild wee's (and a lovely poo in the bus shelter which I had to borrow a bag from a dog walker to pick up, thanks DD). Last time a charming old lady old bitch had a go at me because I'd obviously left it until far to late to bother to train DD (she was dry in the day 1 week after her 2nd birthday). I am discreet about it though when possible, unfortunately DD thinks the whole world needs to see her 'lady bottom'.