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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DH's cleaning?

76 replies

Lambzig · 29/07/2012 12:04

OK, I know I am really, but a bit annoyed.

I asked DH to give the shower cubicle a quick scrub with some bleach this morning while he was in it (to clean the grouting and where it has bit of limescale etc). This was at 8am. It is now noon and he is still cleaning it. He has bleached everything, taken it apart, taken the doors off and the seals off, taken the water levers off, limescaled everyting, pulled off all the sealant and is now saying that it needs resealing and new screws and is off to Homebase.

We were supposed to be going out for a walk and for lunch with DD and now its raining and I have been stuck in trying to entertain a fed up toddler for four hours.

I didn't go out earlier as I thought he would finish soon and am not fit to go out to lunch/in public as haven't had a shower yet and can't get in the bathroom.

I know IABU as it will be lovely to have an immaculate shower, but it wasn't the plan!!!

OP posts:
GlassofRose · 29/07/2012 12:05

I'd just be grateful that he made such an effort Smile

Yama · 29/07/2012 12:06

YANBU

I understand how you feel but can't articulate why. Something to do with not being able to be annoyed at his inconsideration as he is doing a good thing for the benefit of all. Or something.

JeezyPeeps · 29/07/2012 12:08

Can you go out for a walk and send him over to my house to clean?

Original poster
Lambzig · 29/07/2012 12:09

Yes Yama thats kind of it -he is enjoying tutting at me for letting it get so bad and how busy he is.

Also there is much more urgent stuff if he was feeling DIYish.

Plus toddler who keeps asking "Are we going to lunch next?" as she loves to eat out and thats what was promised.

Feel I am ungrateful witch.

OP posts:
rogersmellyonthetelly · 29/07/2012 12:10

Yanbu to be a bit miffed, but I'm jealous actually. If I asked dh to give the shower a quick clean he would probably put the shower on and rinse the inside for a minute.

Glitterkitten24 · 29/07/2012 12:13

Wow, I can understand why you are cross if you have other plans but you should be very grateful that he's making such an effort.

My husband doesn't know what bleach is. If I asked him to clean the shower he would do it, but using toilet roll to wipe a bit of bathroom cleaner about. And then I'd clean it properly the next day.
We have issues with standards of cleaning in my house.

Akermanis · 29/07/2012 12:18

Maybe you could ask him to give the oven a quick clean as well.....while you go out

Original poster
Lambzig · 29/07/2012 12:19

Its just that everything is such a big production - its always the same. If I ask him to do some hooveriing, the whole hoover has to come apart and the filter cleaned and then it takes an hour for each room.

I asked him to do it because I am 6 month pregnant and find kneeling down in the tight space a bit tricky - let alone getting up again afterwards (in case you all think I am a lazy cow).

OP posts:
Original poster
Lambzig · 29/07/2012 12:20

Akermanis last time he cleaned the oven it took 48 hours and required 2 spare parts purchased by the end of it.

OP posts:
diddl · 29/07/2012 12:22

Grateful-that he´s taking 4hrs??!!

Does he do this on purpose so that you won´t ask again?

YANBU

Viviennemary · 29/07/2012 12:27

Sorry OP but your post made me laugh! But agree it is VERY annoying. Now if that was my DH he would be talking about doing it for ever and ever and saying how he would do it, what materials he would need and so on an so on. And it might not get done. That's even more annoying I think. Hope you still get out for your lunch. Go later.

OlivesTorchStreak · 29/07/2012 12:27

Are you me? Or are you my husband's other wife?

Does your house stink from the fumes from all of the limelite that he is using on the brand new bathroom that was fitted less than a year ago?

Fairenuff · 29/07/2012 12:30

But if you know he is going to do it this way, surely you could predict that he wouldn't have it done in time to go out as planned?

Next time (the beauty of hindsight) use the shower first, then go out and leave him to get on with it. And if you don't want to have to entertain your toddler all on your own, leave the toddler at home with him and go and have some time for yourself. Perfect!

Bonkerz · 29/07/2012 12:30

Atleast it will be clean when he is done. DH got excited in shop yesterday as ovenclean was half price so that was today's task..... My oven was spotless at the end but my sink and tiles and floor was covered in black greasy grime which he failed to notice!!!!!!!

tak1ngchances · 29/07/2012 12:31

Some men are just like this. They turn a simple 10-minute household task into a 2-day production. Half of me thinks they do it so they won't be asked to do things often as we know it's far quicker to do it ourselves

5madthings · 29/07/2012 12:32

oh god my dp does this, starts to do some cleaning but has to try and do a proper job, only generally it never gets finished properly! and yes takes FOREVER!

and when you had plans as you had said its annoying! you shoul dhave just gone out yourself with toddler and had a nice lunch and left him to it.

droves · 29/07/2012 12:34

I'd just be glad your dh is doing any cleaning at all !

Tell him to take a tea break and nip in shower when he's filling the kettle .

Fwiw I told dh the quickest way to get a woman turned on is to start hoovering / cleaning the bog /emptying the bins ect ! ( no bad thinking , I get a tidy house and sex after he's finished it Wink )

Original poster
Lambzig · 29/07/2012 12:47

Have decided to take DD out for lunch without showering (hate going out without a shower and with dirty hair). I cannot sneak in the shower as the doors and taps are off.

He will end up finishing this at about 6pm this evening and then I will be expected to admire and ooh and ahh for the next few days. (Good lord droves do I have to sleep with him as well?)

OP posts:
diddl · 29/07/2012 12:50

"I'd just be glad your dh is doing any cleaning at all ! "

Why?

He uses the shower-why shouldn´t he clean it?

patosullivan · 29/07/2012 12:52

YANBU to be annoyed.

I'd be wondering if he was deliberatly making such a production out of it in the hope that you'll never ask him to do it again...

bigTillyMint · 29/07/2012 12:52

OMG he is so the opposite of my DH who does the least-effort-possible-job Envy

Was it in a really bad way before he started?

Mrsjay · 29/07/2012 12:53

well you did ask him to clean the grout Grin he obviously is taking it seriously Grin go out on your own have a spray of deodorant and leave him too it , last time dh did the tiles in the bathroom ( i cant reach) he ended up painting Hmm

Bongaloo · 29/07/2012 12:58

My DH is just the same.
If we're having a blitz he'll do one thing like the bathroom - meanwhile I'll have done all the rest of the house! But that bathroom has been done so so thoroughly.

And yy re the hoover in bits.

ClaireDeTamble · 29/07/2012 13:05

"he is enjoying tutting at me for letting it get so bad and how busy he is."

See this as an opportunity. When he has finished you say the following:

"Wow, thank you darling. You have done a wonderful job. You are right, I did let it get it an state. I am sorry. However, as I am six months pregnant it is only going to get more and more difficult for me to clean the shower and then when the baby comes, I am obviously going to be tied up with dealing with a new born so won't be able to give cleaning the shower my full attention.

I wouldn't want to undo all of the hard work you have done today, so lets just agree that cleaning the shower will be your responsibility for the foreseeable future shall we? Good, that's agreed then"

Then go and chill in front of the telly with chocolate

It's a win win - he gets his ego stroked, you never have to clean the shower again and he can't complain about it because he has made such a hoo haa about it in the first place Wink

Bet you he won't tut at you for not doing things properly again!

patosullivan · 29/07/2012 13:07

Grin at ClaireDeTamble's suggestion. Fantastic idea Grin

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