AIBU to be royally peeved?

[BellaOfTheBalls]

OK, just a bit of background. I love to bake. I have always made DS1's birthday cakes, enjoy doing them etc. Was looking forward to doing DS2's first birthday cake.

MIL always has a "hobby". Cards, making jewellery, decoupage, now cakes. She tries very hard, spends a fortune on the kit but is never particularly good at it. She asked if she could make DS2's first birthday cake. I agreed, reluctantly as often the fallout of saying no to her is just beyond horrendous. I'm not a very strong person, avoid confrontation and she is very good a guilting people into things.

I specifically said no characters, no bright colours; suggested a cake in the shape of a One or a star. She has made a Thomas the Tank Engine cake. It has a rather terrifying face and is iced only on the top, not the sides, in blue buttercream. It's not good. At all. She's upset it hasn't turned out and I've been put in the position where I've had to do the "it's fine, don't worry etc". But inside I'm fuming.

I know it's only a fucking cake & therefore am almost definitely IABU. But I'm still bloody annoyed & know that I could have done a much better job. AIBU?

i am sure you would have been better at it, however good for you for being gracious and encouraging. you are a better person

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Your 1yr old baby will be absolutely devastated.....

Can you accidentally drop it by accident like?

We need a picture.

But the other guests might think that was the best you could do

Aw. But bless her for trying. she knows it is shite and is upset. Surely though, cake is about eating, not looks. Eat it quick

Let MIL have her moment of glory, with her cake that she has put lots of love and effort into.

Then bake a second, much more impressive cake and wait til she's gone and whip it out for photo's

Bella it sounds hilarious. Take loads of pictures so you can laugh about it after. I would also be annoyed if I was you but OTOH sounds like your MIL will move onto another hobby before the next birthday.

Are there a couple of guests who are allergic to wheat? It would be so unfair to light the cake and share it out, you'll have to make your own. Gluten free wheat looks soo much like normal wheat IYSWIM.

Drop it on the floor - best if you can arrange for one or both children to be in the room at the time so you can be all apologetic about how you "only took your eyes off them for a second, they were so excited about the cake" without actually coming out and lying blaming them outright. If one of the DCs shouts "YUK" when they bite it, she will feel 100 times worse than if it gets broken.

YABU.. it is just a cake, but it will also be the thing that you can look at and smile about with photos, when sharing the memory with your child as he grows up.. because he certainly will not care this year.

Is it as bad as this?

Do you have a dog? Terrible buggers for nicking food off the floor work tops. Just leave the cake and the.dog alone for some "special" time.

YANBU if it's just another example of how your MIL treats your opinion normally, and going on you saying she's prone to maybe tantruming and pulling the 'woe is me' act (?) then it probably is.

If you were to stick your neck out to draw some boundaries though, this wouldn't be the situation to do it in.

Just going on the other posters (not unreasonable) posts of how serious this is in the scheme of things, I'd wait for something where you can come out of it knowing you've done the right thing.

If you went ballistic pulled her up on this you'd probably not get the support of other people in the family who know full well what a PITA she is and glad you're tackling her.

Sounds like a result to me. MIL has cocked up as expected so you'll get the cake making job back next year.

Likw LadySybil said we do need a picture.

Why not let her have the consequences of no-one's saying "no" to her?

You can have two cakes???

You could announce it, or put a little sign above stating 'made by MIL' What about some flashing neon lights with an arrow?

Just keep telling everyone how mil made the cake and accidentally cut it up before photos?

It's nice that she offered. It is difficult with many mil and dil, it's normal. You prob annoy her and vice versa. I wouldn't have suggested what she does I would have just let her get on with it.

That's right it's only a cake it's not a big deal.

you make one for just your immediate family. take photos of that and let those be the photos in the album.

publically thank mil for the cake. so everyone knows it is not you!

You've only commented on its appearance.
What's it going to taste like I wonder? :(

I know IABU. I know if I saw this posted by someone that was not me I'd tell them the same. But I just can't get that perspective for myself right now.

I will try and get some pictures. And I fully suspect that we will laugh about it later. And next year DS2 will have a cake that looks like something off that Ace of Cakes programme.

Take a pic OP and post it here I love Cake Wrecks, the site is hilarious.

Maybe next time you could suggest you share the task? She bakes the cake and you decorate?

I have to say I reached the point where the fact my mil wanted to make the birthday cake was a huge plus!

I think grandmothers should be encouraged to do things like this tbh, it's a lovely relationship when it works well, my dcs have a great relationship with my ex MIL ( who made a lot of their cakes, some of which were interestingly decorated!)

I do have photos of some of my triumphs in the cake stakes just to prove that I did do them - but the dcs happy memories also include the less then perfect ones their grandma made