AIBU to be royally peeved?

[BellaOfTheBalls]

OK, just a bit of background. I love to bake. I have always made DS1's birthday cakes, enjoy doing them etc. Was looking forward to doing DS2's first birthday cake.

MIL always has a "hobby". Cards, making jewellery, decoupage, now cakes. She tries very hard, spends a fortune on the kit but is never particularly good at it. She asked if she could make DS2's first birthday cake. I agreed, reluctantly as often the fallout of saying no to her is just beyond horrendous. I'm not a very strong person, avoid confrontation and she is very good a guilting people into things.

I specifically said no characters, no bright colours; suggested a cake in the shape of a One or a star. She has made a Thomas the Tank Engine cake. It has a rather terrifying face and is iced only on the top, not the sides, in blue buttercream. It's not good. At all. She's upset it hasn't turned out and I've been put in the position where I've had to do the "it's fine, don't worry etc". But inside I'm fuming.

I know it's only a fucking cake & therefore am almost definitely IABU. But I'm still bloody annoyed & know that I could have done a much better job. AIBU?

God this thread reminds me why I was glad to get out of the world of competitive parenting.

He's ONE it's a party for those who love him to celebrate his life, not the cake olympics.

It can't be as bad as this

Bella you've done a lovely thing letting her bake the cake. Especially as you suspected it wouldn't be great. I have a similar situation, love to bake very well if I may say so ILs think it's quaint and always try and include a crappy shop bought monstrosity into parties.

Enjoy having done the kind thing- and make sure everyone knows it wasn't your's.

Put your arm around her, say "well obviously we can't use it at the party, but never mind, let's have it now with a nice cup of tea."

omg.... i'm doubled over LOLing to the max. get things into perspective people! it's a fucking cake!! it's going to be eaten and i bet it will taste delicious!

sweatyandfrizzy "There is nothing more disappointing than lifting the cardboard lid at a party and seeing a crap cake". are you kidding me?

This belongs on the 'first world problems' thread.

You specified no bright colours, no characters? Does the birthday cake of a 1 year old really matter that much?

Next time, if you want to make the cake then say so and don't get into this she's-crap-at-decoupage-but-I'll-let-her-make-the-cake-with-bad-grace-then-get-annoyed-because-it's-crap-and-blue situation. It's not unreasonable of you to want to make the cake as it's your hobby. Let her make a badly decoupaged card next year.

Ooh that reminds me Grandma wanted to make the Christening cake for DS 1 & 2
I thought lovely one less thing for me to think about.
It was 11 years ago, I know better now.

She iced their names on the top of it.
All the guests said to me as they handed gifts and cards over - I am sorry but I have spelt DS 2 name wrong.

No You didn't SHE had. You would like to think Granny would know what the children were called. Maybe even the letter the name started with?
Or perhaps check the spelling with somebody who might know, like, perhaps everybody else.

^NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Your 1yr old baby will be absolutely devastated..^

this my love has just made my day I needed a laugh Op seriously calm down it is a cake your poor mil bet she is devastated dont you just eat cake anyway ,

OP, I totally sympathise!

You are, of course, BU - as you have acknowledged.

However, cakes are your thing!!! I would definitely do as someone above suggested and make a small, perfectly formed, beautiful cake for you, DH and the DCs to have just for yourselves, possibly even for breakfast along with the present opening on the morning of DS's birthday.

Take lots of photos of both cakes!

yabu but only because I don't get the fuss.
This would be hilarious to me. Put it on youtube and you never know, you might get on tv. :)

You sound really nice.
Dont worry, it sounds like MIL will have moved on to another hobby by next year.
Perhaps she will offer to make a special birthday outfit for DS?

That will me lovely

Has anyone linked to that crap cakes website? Its hilarious.

missnever my mother decided how my DC4's name was spelled all by herself.
He still gets cards from her and extended family using the very odd pretentious spelling she dreamt up.
He is four.

I am considering changing his name by deed poll. Simpler than getting DM to admit she was wrong

Isn't making a second cake a trifle passive aggressive? If the MIL finds out she'll be just as pissed off as if the OP tells her her cake is shit. I am sympathetic to both the OP and the MIL as I love to make birthday cakes but I'm pretty shit really. Luckily the kids haven't really twigged yet.

Even if the cake looks abysmal, it may taste wonderful so hold off on being disappointed by it. If everyone gags at the first mouthful, THEN wheel out the oh-so-fabulous back-up cake you've made to your own standards.

I love to make cakes. They never LOOK like much but the family rave about the taste. I'm happy enough with that.

mu mum once made me a fab padington bear cake it was so good looking i couldnt eat it because i decided that would hurt him (i was only 4)

Poor OP. Of course it's annoying. It doesn't matter that it's a first world problem, it's still annoying. Your child will only ever have one first birthday cake, after all. Let's face it, if your MiL was a delightful person with whom you got on swimmingly you could have a good laugh about it together. As it is, it's just one more thing to add to the (no doubt) long list of grievances you already have against her.

I agree with everyone who says make sure that people know it was made by your MiL, not you.

That wonky toe cake...... Just why?

MrsDeVere the poor kid didn't stand a chance really.
She can't even spell her own name.
Insisted they called her Grandma and then signs all cards Gramar.
Two of the others only have 3 letter names but she gets one of those wrong most of the time. Can't say I have ever seen her write down DDs name but I can see her having fun / trouble with it.

Thats nothing. My friend made her 3 year old a rocket with launchers at the bottom. She only had pink food colouring. It was only when she brought in the cake with candles that she realised the cake was essentially a giant willy. Some of the parents had to leave the room it was hard to stifle the giggles. Brilliant cake though.

Brian

My ILs were so excited about DS1's 1st birthday that they were up at 5am, in the car by 6.30am and with us by 9am! They brought a Thomas the Tank Engine cake with them! They had not asked if DS1 needed a cake bringing. I was absolutely furious at the assumption that I could not manage to provide my only son with a birthday cake....except

I was going to buy it fresh that morning and couldn't go to the supermarket as they turned up early...so they were right, I couldn't manage to get my LO a birthday cake!

I'll remember DS1's 1st birthday for the argument over the scratched washing machine and crying at my neighbours

at giant willy cake tho!

YABU. Sorry. DS really won't mind at all and will probably prefer it to a boring tasteful number cake.

I have done enough bake sales to know that DC's are more interested in wacky, colourful fun cakes than tasteful ones. In fact, the messier the better.