AIBU to be royally peeved?

[BellaOfTheBalls]

OK, just a bit of background. I love to bake. I have always made DS1's birthday cakes, enjoy doing them etc. Was looking forward to doing DS2's first birthday cake.

MIL always has a "hobby". Cards, making jewellery, decoupage, now cakes. She tries very hard, spends a fortune on the kit but is never particularly good at it. She asked if she could make DS2's first birthday cake. I agreed, reluctantly as often the fallout of saying no to her is just beyond horrendous. I'm not a very strong person, avoid confrontation and she is very good a guilting people into things.

I specifically said no characters, no bright colours; suggested a cake in the shape of a One or a star. She has made a Thomas the Tank Engine cake. It has a rather terrifying face and is iced only on the top, not the sides, in blue buttercream. It's not good. At all. She's upset it hasn't turned out and I've been put in the position where I've had to do the "it's fine, don't worry etc". But inside I'm fuming.

I know it's only a fucking cake & therefore am almost definitely IABU. But I'm still bloody annoyed & know that I could have done a much better job. AIBU?

Brian you beat me to it. Cake wrecks will put it all in perspective.

Always look at the bright side. This cake will be remembered forever and hopefully in years to come you will all be able to laugh about it.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, so please don't take offense, but here's some perspective for you - my DS (only, and PIL's only DGC) will be 10mo on Thursday, and we're burying MIL on Friday. I'll never get to moan about her making shite birthday cakes, and she'll never get to see her DGC on his birthday. If you get on well most of the time, if she loves your DH, you and your DCs, if she means well, treasure her.

Im chuckling a little at the thought of the shit Thomas cake with the terrifying face!

What a lovely comment herdofimpala

Puts it into perspective doesn't it.

((hugs))

pics or it didn't happen.

Yabu. My MIL baked my DD1s first Birthday cake and it was bright red, green, blue and every othercolour you can think of...inexpertly decoated in the shape of....wait for it...a random smiling face.

I still like seeing it in all it's hideousness today when I look at pics.

Lovely post herdofimpala my MIL was a godsend, still a good friend now even though she's an ex-MIL.

Having other people around who adore your dcs is such a bonus - and they won't do things the same way you do, but that's ok. Dcs learn that there is more than one way to love children!

Look in the bright side. Every time she suggest making a cake in the future, you can do the sucky inny sound between your teeth and say "oh.....well, remember the last time.....? " And then look sort of pitying and sorrowful.

"MIL, as you made such a big effort, why dont you take the cake in?"

"OOOOOH LOOK!!!! Its grandma with the cake SHE MADE for your birthday!!!"

Being 1, the baby wont care and everyone else will know that she made it

I dont blame you at all! Its the 1st ever cake, i am sentimental about this stuff!! Can you not get one from use aswell? Cant blame her for trying but if she totally didnt listen to your suggestions then you should not have to have a crap cake!!

But he's 1. He wont know a good cake from a bad cake! He wont even know it's his birthday. He'll probably stick his fist in Thomas's face. It's all fine.

Well it is only a cake-but really, you should have said no- that you were making a cake as usual.

I understand your frustration. You can't really make a second cake but how about cupcakes? You could really pull out all the stops and make some fab ones.
They could be part of the overall buffet but will silently sit there looking smug for you

BrianCox - that Mickey cake had me laughing a good while.

Make a point of telling all your guests, "Granny made the cake, wasn't that kind of her?" Loud voice, over and over and then afterwards "and can we all raise our glasses to MIL who made the cake!" This way noone thinks it's your mess creation.

Just let this be a lesson in assertiveness for you! In future, tell her no. You already said that she is isn't very good at it, so you can't have been expecting a great cake.

As its too late now to go back on that one, I would just remember this for future years and tell her "Hell no, remember Thomas!"

I think it is kind of her to make the cake, and you can be kind and gracious in accepting it. Despite it being crap to look at.
Agree with everyone who says it will be fun to look at in later years.

Dignity, bella, and make some BRILLIANT cakes yourself .

Is a crap cake better or worse than no cake...having spent weeks winding the boys up about the spectacular cake she was going to make, in the end she got herself into such a state about it that my mum developed some kind of performance anxiety illness and didn't make a sodding thing! Luckily Colin the Caterpillar is easy to come by...

You already know DS won't really care (and I don't get the ban on bright colours?) I think cupcakes are a good idea so there is an alternative if it tastes yuk, otherwise take a deep breath and let it go.

Oh and please post a pic as that mickey mouse one had tears rolling down my cheeks, I love laughing like that

This thread really has cheered me up this morning! I feel for you bella but norks is right this is a time for graciousness and dignity and loud effusive thanks at the party so everyone knows she made the atrocity you will laugh.... Not today but you will....

That Minnie Mouse cake, aaaaahahahaha. Feel sorry for the kid who's birthday it was made for.

Brian - that cake site is genius!

Don't sweat the small stuff. In that I would include a) specifying the colour and shape of the cake your MIL is planning to make in the first place, and b) the whole worry about the cake being a bit ugly now. You know, just, chill.

I am a bit at everyone saying "Make sure any guests know it's nothing to do with your fair hands!".
Would you be taken off the Christmas card list for shit cake making or something in your circles?

we had 2 cakes for DS1's christening for precisely this reason.....
If anyone asked why we had 2 cakes, I just said "Oh, Grandma wanted to make one as well" - my friends all knew what the score was

sweaty I disagree that it's all about the cake.

Any children's party seems to be all about the sodding party bags IMO.

OP go with her cake, let everyone know it was her creation. Make some divine cupcakes for when everyone declines a piece