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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that children as young as five

145 replies

MammaTJ · 28/07/2012 21:23

should not be running around the streets at this time of night!!

That is all really. Load of kids making a racket outside my house. DD age 6 and DS age 5 in bed, sound asleep. Why are the running around?

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 28/07/2012 23:07

For what its is worth I think that letting my children play with their friends, settle differences themselves, learn responsibility and run around outside using their imagination is "parenting" but each to their own.

I like the holidays too, but part of long summer holidays and brighter nights etc is playing outside with your friends, it certainly was when I was a child and when my parents were children [shrugs]

FredWorms · 28/07/2012 23:11

YABU

Assuming it's safe I see no problem. It's part of childhood, being out really late on Summer nights and coming in all grubby and exhausted and waking up early to get right back out there again.

Routine? Routine's for grown-ups. It's the Summer holidays, they're kids FFS, let them have fun.

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 23:12

I could make my life easier by sending them out the door, but hell, I shall just PARENT instead!!

You're sounding really judgey now.

How do you know anyone sends their kids out the door?

How do you know, that like most decent parents they don't just want their kids to get enough healthy exercise and fresh air?

Letting them stay out late when people are trying to sleep is one thing, but judging parents for not wrapping their kids in cotton wool is weird.

No wonder the obesity epidemic is as bad as it is among children if parents are now being accused of kicking their kids out the door cos they allow them out to play.

FutTheShuckUp · 28/07/2012 23:16

Kids don't just have fun roaming around being noisy outside. Elderly people/babies need sleep why should a child's right to 'fun' trump that?

Original poster

MammaTJ · 28/07/2012 23:16

No, they really do!! I know it! I am not being unreasonably judgy, I know the mum!! She is lazy beyond lazy!! She will not be up before 10 am anyway, her 11 year old will take care of the 5 year old.

I have also seen a neighbour shouting for her 4 year old, having no clue where she is at 10pm. Her three year old went missing for quite some time and was found a mile away too.

Ah well, at least they are getting exercise!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 23:17

It doesn't Fut and they shouldn't be out late and making enough noise to disturb neighbours.

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 23:18

Then your 'hell I just PARENT' has nothing to do with other kids actually playing out does it?

There's obviously a lot more to it.

FutTheShuckUp · 28/07/2012 23:19

I remember our neighbour pulling a face when I asked them to keep the noise down when their kids were squealing at top volume out on their trampoline gone midnight..

FredWorms · 28/07/2012 23:20

Because it's Summer and it was only 9.30pm, ya bunch of old killjoys you.

Oh, and OP, I take proper care of my DCs and "PARENT" by letting them have free time outside unfettered by my constant attention.

amck5700 · 28/07/2012 23:22

lol fred, I admit it!

MrsKeithRichards · 28/07/2012 23:23

Oh for fuck sake. Are you going to PARENT them for ever more? You can PARENT without being a twat about it.

When it pisses down with rain for 3 days and ds has spent more time doing more structured things it's quite nice to see him run about and play batman or bombers or whatever it is they're into that day. And if it's still nice and kids are still out and there's nothing to wake up for then so what?

How old are the children you so excellently PARENT op?

wigglesrock · 28/07/2012 23:24

It doesn't trump anyones right to sleep at night at all, but to be honest being outside and playing in the summer during the day shouldn't be curtailed because you might wake a baby etc.

I have 3 children, one of them a baby and it wouldn't occur to me to expect people to change their daytime activities such as mowing the grass, having a bbq, playing in a paddling pool, hoovering etc because of my baby. And I also speak as someone who has a husband that works nights and I've worked nights too. I'm sure my crying baby has disturbed my next door neighbours the odd night, just as I've rolled my eyes at their 3 teenagers hurtling down the stairs 5 times in an hour.

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 28/07/2012 23:25

There is always more to it MamaTJ - maybe the family you are posting about has parents who don't "parent"... personally I am up at 5am every blimin' day with my toddler, and up now because he is teething and has been crying out and I've been up and down... but my kids play out... I hate the MN anti playing out brigade, who think that if you don't shadow your children at a maximum of 1 meter distance at all times you must be lying in bed til mid-day smoking drugs and drinking and claiming a monarch's ransom in benefits...

Obviously some kids are feral, antisocial, disruptive and uncared for, but others are kids who are just enjoying freedom within a framework during the more relaxed parts of the year, be it non school days and nights or longer holidays, and do have manners and discipline and yet are allowed an amount of freedom and to have fun without a parent or play leader telling them when to laugh (to stretch a point)...

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 23:27

I personally think 9.30pm is late enough to stop making excessive noise

But I don't think kids should have to come in from the garden or whatever as long as they're not screaming their heads off.

For the record, mine are in by 8pm at the latest and they're 13yrs and 9yrs but I have no objection to other kids playing out late as I don't own the streets.

FutTheShuckUp · 28/07/2012 23:27

Half nine is not during the day though is it

CouthyMow · 28/07/2012 23:29

No, YANBU, I agree. My 14yo DD is not allowed out that late, even in the holidays. She may not be in bed, but neither does she have a need to be running around the streets in the dark either.

She can play out all day, but has to be back for dinner at 6.30pm. As do all her friends. So why a younger DC would be outside, and why, is beyond me. It's unnecessary when they can be outside as soon as they have eaten breakfast and got dressed and ready, and only have to be back for lunch (or let me know they are eating at a friend's), and then in for 6.30 in DD's case (earlier for younger DC's)

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 23:29

No of course it's not during the day?

FutTheShuckUp · 28/07/2012 23:31

My post was in response to wigglesrock worra

wigglesrock · 28/07/2012 23:32

No, but I don't think 9.30pm on a Saturday evening in July is excessive either. My neighbours had a party BBQ this evening. It was lit at about 8.00pm, food not done until about 9, there were about 6 children playing just outside the gate at the back until 10ish - they were laughing and giggling and doing very funny impressions of Paul McCartney "singing" Hey Jude. I just think that its different in the Summer.

FredWorms · 28/07/2012 23:34

If it's still light then I think it's fine. People shouldn't be trying to sleep in daylight anyway (I have images of robotic types in striped pyjamas consulting their timetables and laying out their clothes for the next day because it's 9pm and that is bedtime). Whether or not they "work" has nothing to do with it. It's about loving life and grabbing every moment, whatever your age, and these summer nights are just beautiful.

Routine? Pah.

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 28/07/2012 23:34

Half 9 is late and I concede mine are in bed by 8pm even in the holidays, unless there has been a special event as there has been tonight. I wouldn't have them outside other than in our garden past about 7pm, and on school nights that's when they go up to bed...

There is a lot of self righteous "I parent better because I have strict routine and don't let my kids out of the garden, ever, except on structured outings, during which they will have fun the way I planned it whether they like it or not" uber parenting on MN though :o

cheesesarnie · 28/07/2012 23:34

My dc are out playing for most of the day whatever the weather but in order to respect the neighbours they are in by 7pm at the latest.

They are not obese and I consider myself respectful rather than a killjoy.

We don't really have a routine during the holidays but I do like them in bed at a decent time purely so that I can have some selfish alone time!

FredWorms · 28/07/2012 23:36

Don't you remember the excitement of being out on those Summer nights? Or am I just old? Maybe you all had to be in at 6.30 (or whatever ridiculously early time that previous poster said).

CouthyMow · 28/07/2012 23:36

It really annoys me, as why don't these parents want to actually SPEND some time with their DC's? Some people, like DD's friend's mum, no longer have that option. Enjoy your DC's, spend the evenings with them instead of letting them run wild.

DD and I watched the Men's Gymnastics together this evening, when she came in from having been out with her friends yesterday and today. She went roller skating yesterday evening with her friend, had a sleepover last night, then went swimming with her friends today.

She has had plenty of fun and activity, but she still had to be in at 6.30pm. I don't hover over her, but equally I'm not disinterested enough to let her run around outside at all hours! There is a middle ground, you know!

Original poster

MammaTJ · 28/07/2012 23:37

Worra that is parenting!! I am talking about a five year old running around an hour and a half later than your 13 year old!!

Wiggles I work nights, I do not expect anyone to alter their life because of that. TBH, I am so tired after a night shift, I could sleep through anything.

Sorry MrsKeithRichards should I not be parenting a 5 and 6 year old. I have cut a little slack for the 17 year old recently and the 28 year old is pretty much allowed to do what she like as long as she asks nicely.

I am now going to bed, as unlike some of my neighbours, I will get up with my DCs, entertain them most of the day, then work a night shift!!

OP posts:

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