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AIBU?

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Original poster

Christening Present List

93 replies

A1980 · 27/07/2012 20:21

Hi

I don't have children & most of my friends don't either so I'm not sure this is usual or not. DP's nephew is being christened soon. He is 3 and I have been invited. I was looking around for a present and I was thinking of a book. A special edition classic: something he can keep.

I've found out from DP that the child's parents are very concerned about what they receive and don't want a load of useless tat such as money boxes, cutlery etc so they have compiled a present list for the christening which has been circulated to ensure the child gets what the parents want him to have and that there are no duplicated presents. Forget about meagre books the stuff on that list is really expensive.

Please tell me: is this usual? IMO a christening is a symbolic religious ceremony and should not be a grab bag for presents. I think it's distasteful.

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 27/07/2012 21:23

Never heard of it for christening. Runs upstairs to count, again, the 7 "first bibles" the children have.

Don't know really. Our DC are teenagers now and, notwithstanding all the bibles, they had some lovely presents at their christenings. Signed England bat, £100 premium bond (that won DS 500), Tiffany coffee set (dd), Tiffany cross (dd), silver napkin rings, some lovely china and little knives and forks. None of which would have been put on a list.

Best of all, their christening candles and certificates and prayer books from the priest though Smile

honeytea · 27/07/2012 21:52

It's grasping, greedy and tacky to have a list for anything other than a wedding/civil ceremony I think this is a little harsh, why is a wedding so different?

holyfishnets · 27/07/2012 21:59

Love your idea of a classic book. Just get it anyway as there will be enough people who will buy expensive gifts off the list.

patosullivan · 27/07/2012 22:12

I've never heard of people having a gift list for a christening!

I agree, it's a religious ceremony, not an opportunity to get as many expensive presents as possible.

purpleloosestrife · 27/07/2012 22:26

I hate wedding lists.... though do understand that some people love them as they don't know how much to spend/what to get and like to choose a gift that will be appreciated. I do think much depends on what is being asked for.....

I never heard of a christening gift list before and I do think it inappropriate.

I love your idea and I would be very grateful ( on behalf of my DD) if she were to receive such a thoughtful gift. Hope the parents are suitably impressed with your gift for your DP's nephew. If not, they really ought to be.

Viviennemary · 27/07/2012 22:29

They're really grabby, entitled and rude. It will be a request for money towards school fees next. What is the world coming to!!!

FoxyRevenger · 27/07/2012 22:35

Gift lists are vile, for any occasion, in my opinion, but a christening? Shock

Get him nothing, or something you would like to give him to celebrate.

How rude!

YouOldSlag · 27/07/2012 22:47

honeytea- of course a wedding is different. Years ago when a couple married they had nothing and guests would buy them household stuff to help them get started in life. That tradition has carried on and IMO will probably not die out.

A baby or child is entering the family of the church when christened and needs nothing but love. They are not about to leave home, go on honeymoon, or be short of a decent dinner service.

honeytea · 27/07/2012 22:55

But now people usually live together for many years before they get married so they don't actually need anything.

A baby is different, I'm not saying just a christening, but having a list for a new baby is sensible in my opinion because otherwise you may well end up with 25 newborn babygrows.

PuggyMum · 27/07/2012 22:58

What's on this list? Am just being nosey!! It's really tacky IMO! Very grabby and not what a christening should be about!

YouOldSlag · 27/07/2012 22:59

Nope, it's grabby and rude, not reasonable at all.

Anyway a new baby is messy as hell, 25 babygrows is not too many.

LeandarBear · 27/07/2012 23:31

YANBU. It really should not be about gifts. Your idea sounds lovely.

sashh · 28/07/2012 04:58

Bad taste, but as someone has already said maybe they have a history of crap gifts.

I'm like you OP, I think christening presents (and sometimes new born presents) should be something to keep.

I've bought things like cross on a chain, a limmited print from whinnie the poo, an old penny in a frame, that sort of thing.

But I went to achristening where the godparent bought a babygym. Not something you can keep really.

honeytea · 28/07/2012 09:42

25 newborn babygrows would be rubbish, I don't think our DC will fit into newborn sized clothing so the babygrows would go directly to the second hand shop.

pjmama · 28/07/2012 10:02

Stuff their list and get whatever you want.

The loveliest gift my DTs got for their christening was from their auntie. She'd gone to one of these paint a pot places and she'd painted them both a plate with their names and the date of the christening on - I thought it was a really lovely, personal, thoughtful gift and they're hung on our wall with pride.

PineappleBed · 28/07/2012 10:03

That's a bit odd.

We're having DD christened next month and presents hadn't crossed my mind until an uncle emailed asking what she wanted. I said that's very kind, they didn't need to and a surprise would be lovely (they said they would do a surprise if there was nothing specific we wanted).

The book sounds lovely so do that.

What to get for a christening is hard as some people like to buy keep-sakes and some people like to buy practical things but I think regardless you don't expect anything and are grateful for whatever you get.

We had our arms twisted into having a wedding list so it's not always the parents fault these things come about.

missnevermind · 28/07/2012 10:19

DC 3 and 4 were christened together at the beginning of this year.
DC 1 and 2 were christened together over 11 years ago.

The same people came to the christenings, same Godparents same family.
DC 1 and 2 got silver money boxes, picture frames, nursery rhyme figures and tooth and curl boxes.

DC 3 and 4 didn't get any of those type of things and I am having to buy them myself.

soverylucky · 28/07/2012 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouOldSlag · 28/07/2012 12:01

25 newborn babygrows would be rubbish, I don't think our DC will fit into newborn sized clothing so the babygrows would go directly to the second hand shop.

honeytea- so this is your justification for giving people a list of gifts you want for a baby or for a christening? As a reason it stinks.

We never gave anybody a list for either event and were just grateful that people bothered at all. I've never heard of anyone ending up with 25 babygrows so that as your sole defence of a "want list" is weak.

honeytea · 28/07/2012 12:33

That is my justification for having a list for an occasion that isn't a wedding, it was said that it was selfish and grabbing to make a list for any event that isn't a wedding.

We will be having a naming ceromony and there will be an amazon wish list if people ask us what we want for the baby. I will tell them we don't expect anything but if they do want to buy a gift and they are stuck for ideas there are some options on there. The same with the birth of the baby, most of the the things on the list are books that cost only a few pounds.

I don't think that it is grabbing to give people ideas of what we need if they ask. Lots of people have chosen lovely things for us and some people love picking out baby outfits, other people feel at a loss when faced with picking out stuff and would find it easier to go online and pick something of a list.

I think the idea OP had was a great christening pressie, I gave my baby sister a tree for her christening, she is 9 now and can eat the fruit from the tree.

honeytea · 28/07/2012 12:34

As a side both me and my DP have huge families so 25 babygrows would not be unlikely.

ENormaSnob · 28/07/2012 15:05

I aree with youold.

Lists are grabby and I would be seriously Hmm at any friend or family member with one.

Seriously doubt there are any excuses that would make me think differently.

LineRunnerSpartanNaked · 28/07/2012 15:56

Last time I was told that I wasn't expected to buy anything from a list, I didn't.

I wonder how that actually went down with the couple?

YouOldSlag · 28/07/2012 16:32

"No, no we don't expect anything, but here's the details of our Amazon Wish List"

Hmm......

honeytea · 28/07/2012 16:35

I wouldn't give them the wish list unless they said "I want to buy you a pressie but I'm not sure what to get you/what do you need?"

I wouldn't send it out with an invite.