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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry to post this on here need quick help!

82 replies

DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:20

DS (ASD) has just escaped out of the car while I was getting in, ran into next doors garden, grabbed their gnome and threw it into the next garden along. It smashed all over the floor. I got DS into the house and am now upstairs with him. I don't know what to do!

I don't think they're in but there is a smashed gnome in someone's drive and if I try to get out there with DS to clear it he's bound to get away and do it again :,(

I'll obviously pay for a new gnome but what if it had some sort of personal value??? What if someone gets hurt on the glass? I'm stuck inside with DS in full meltdown :,( I feel awful!

OP posts:
Doingakatereddy · 27/07/2012 13:22

Look after DS, as soon as practical go round to neighbours & honestly explain what's happened.

Anyone would feel buckets for you & it's only a gnome!

GeekCool · 27/07/2012 13:22

Ok breathe.
Deal with your DS first. Calm him down first. He is your priority not a gnome.

Once he is fine, then you can see about the gnome. One step at a time.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 27/07/2012 13:23

Oh, gosh. Ring them? Can you scribble on a bit of paper to push through their letterbox and carry him round when you go to put it through, or is he too big?

I'm sure they will understand, these things happen.

sugarice · 27/07/2012 13:23

Stay calm and get ds sorted first, he's the priority. Can you phone a friend once he's quieter to clean up the mess for you?

HippoPottyMouth · 27/07/2012 13:23

Don't panic, I expect it's pottery of some sort, not glass, so not really that dangerous. There is no rush.

When will you be able to get out? Can someone come round or will your DH be home at some point?

It doesn't really matter if it's not til tonight when you can go round and explain / apologise / tidy up if they haven't already. I can't imagine anyone being too attached to a garden gnome :) I bloody hope not anyway.

LemarchandsBox · 27/07/2012 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:26

I don't have a DH. Im totally on my own my family all live miles away Sad

I'm hoping he will sleep tonight then I'll go round and apologise but he rarely sleeps till gone 2am.

He's 6 not too big to carry but too hard to get near him when he's like this.

Thank you. I hope they don't get really angry at me. They already put up with so much from us with all the meltdown screaming.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2012 13:26

His meltdown must be calming down is you're typing a thread?

Just weight til it's finished and then clear it up and write a note (if they're not in)

WorraLiberty · 27/07/2012 13:26

*wait!

strugglingwiththepreteenbit · 27/07/2012 13:28

can you reach neighbours on the phone? Or get a friend over to mind ds while you do some damage limitation? hug
Let the meltdown run it's course then get ds to make "sorry" cards for neighbours if that's appropriate for him.

LemarchandsBox · 27/07/2012 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:31

No he's not calm he's in his sensory room on the floor squealing. Nothing in there he can hurt himself on so I shut us both in there while he's on a meltdown and just sort of wait it out...

No phone number but I will see if I can get one. My next door neighbours are ok but the ones who's garden the gnome is smashed in are really scary.

Unfortunately all my friends are at work at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:34

They're going to regret ever moving next to me Sad it's only week 1 of summer holidays

OP posts:
HippoPottyMouth · 27/07/2012 13:34

Can you quickly pop out and clear up now while he is safely in his room? You could be done in a few mins
Then you don't have to talk to the scary neighbours

LemarchandsBox · 27/07/2012 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeandarBear · 27/07/2012 13:37

Oh you poor thing, just go round as soon as you can, with a broom and dustpan. Offer a genuine apology and tell them you would like to buy them a replacement. If possible, and if your son understands perhaps he could do them a drawing to show he is sorry. (I know that might not be possible )

If they are shitty about it then they cant very nice people and I would try not to worry about it.

Good luck, Let us know how it goes.

Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:42

Update

Just seen next door going out clearing it up. I went out and told him and asked how much it is. He said its alright but he wouldnt even look at me.

I feel like I'm ruining everybody else's lives with him. I don't know what to do other than to keep him inside all the time and even then I'll get in trouble with my landlord because he's wrecking things here.

OP posts:
LemarchandsBox · 27/07/2012 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 27/07/2012 13:46

Don't worry about your neighbour now, you've apologised and he's bound to be a bit annoyed...it's only natural. I'm sure it'll pass.

Are getting all the help you're entitled to OP?

Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:49

I'm on the SN board. I've had all sorts of people round to try and help with his behaviour but nothing sticks at all. It's the summer holidays I think because his routine is messed up but I have tried to make life as routined as possible .

I can't get respite because he's too high risk. I can't get transport for school because he's too high risk. He needs 2:1 in a special school because he's so high risk. He's broken my ribs before. I don't know what to do anymore

OP posts:
NarkedRaspberry · 27/07/2012 13:52

Do you have cover for any damage he causes? You might under your household insurance. If not. this might be worth looking at.

I wish I could offer practical help, but the people on the SN boards might be able to come up with some suggestions to force the LA to give you more support.

LemarchandsBox · 27/07/2012 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NarkedRaspberry · 27/07/2012 13:56

He has done his bit for neigbourhood beautification.

Original poster
DozyDuck · 27/07/2012 13:56

Thank you for the insurance thing that's a really good idea

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2012 13:56

You sound like you need a lot more support than you're getting Sad

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