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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to shut my dog away for uninvited visiting children?

98 replies

freddiefrog · 26/07/2012 13:19

it's a gorgeous day, DH and I are doing some stuff in the garden and I seem to have a dozen neighbourhood kids in and out of the garden.

2 of which are scared of the dog and are freaking out every time he goes within 20 foot of them

He's a Springer Spaniel and is very friendly, wouldn't hurt any of them and is totally focussed on chasing the grass clipping around the garden and ignoring them anyway, but DH and I are both out in there with them all in any case

I had shut him indoors but it's hot in the house and he wants to be outside with us all so I've told them that the dog is a member of our family, he lives here and has every right to be in the garden so they'll have to ignore him or go and play at home

OP posts:

StabbyMacStabby · 26/07/2012 21:17

"Just because I have a different opinion to yours doesn't mean I am silly or that I should be told to 'fuck off'"

Your opinion was offensive though DirtyMistress. I have brought my DC up not to be frightened of any animal (at least, I tried to). He was fine with dogs until a large one leapt about him barking. He is only three. He is very small. It is not unreasonable for him to be afraid in such a situation, nor for him to continue to be nervous of dogs thereafter.

"Their parents should have raised them better." How can you justify offering up such a ridiculously clueless comment and expect anyone to respect that as your opinion? 70isalimit is entitled to respond to such an ill-thought-out remark with her opinion, and to be frank, I think more people will agree with her than you.

sheeplikessleep · 26/07/2012 21:18

Dirtymistress, I also think your comment about being "raised better" is absolutely disgusting.

SrirachaGirl · 26/07/2012 21:23

Just did exactly that, OP.

We have a very excitable, affectionate Springer too and it is a real pain to try and keep her confined when one of the children's uninvited, non-dog friendly pals comes over to play.

thebody · 26/07/2012 21:44

Yanbu, your dog is family, as poster says don't offer food or drink and kids will fuck off home.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/07/2012 22:41

YANBU. And I say that as someone who does not particularly like dogs.

If the random children don't like it they can go home.

exoticfruits · 26/07/2012 22:51

It is very simple-you are a house with a dog, they can either come in with the dog or stay out of your garden.

feckingnora · 26/07/2012 23:14

I will happily 'rent' my dog out to desensitise scared children/adults. He is the most bomb proof dog, just stands there. Doesn't lick. My friend autistic sister likes to walk him on his lead. She shouts at him (does not have great control of her speach, not shouting in a nasty way) and won't let him wee on trees or sniff stuff. But he will just happily plod along next to her. He just takes no notice of her what so ever! And she loves him! So anyone in hertforshire area want to rent a dog!?

stealthsquiggle · 26/07/2012 23:35

DD had a friend round today who is apparently scared of our toothless cat.

Unfortunately DCat is seriously ancient (20ish) and senile and for some bizarre reason has taken to stalking the DC in the garden. There is stuff all I can do about it, and I wasn't about to shut the cat in the sweltering hot utility room, so I told them they would have to ignore the cat or come inside themselves. They seemed to work it out.

bragmatic · 27/07/2012 03:40

If a child was frightened of my dog, I'd put the dog inside. It's hardly going to expire.

bragmatic · 27/07/2012 03:42

This thread has reinforced my opinion that most animal owners are absolute nutters. I bet you all have cute pictures of your dog licking your baby's face, don'tcha?

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 27/07/2012 04:48

Bragmatic, you've reinforced my opinion that most non-animal lovers are rude and bitter.

OP: YANBU. If a child was invited into my home and afraid of my girl, of course she'd go away for awhile. An enormous amount of uninvited children? Different story altogether.

bragmatic · 27/07/2012 04:55

Don't get me started on cat owners.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 27/07/2012 05:00

Go for it. Most cat owners are (IMO and experience) shocking, no good to the cat or the neighbours.

bragmatic · 27/07/2012 05:03

As the neighbour of a cat owner who allows her beloved moggie to shits all up and down the street (no, neighbour, not all cats bury their shit as you can clearly SEE), I agree.

Oh, and I'll own rude. But bitter? Uh uh.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 27/07/2012 05:09

I agree that it's wrong people let their cats roam. They are my pets, my responsibility. Plus cats are very good at destroying native wildlife.

But didn't see any need for your cutesy little 'dontcha' comment. Was rude. Glad to see you admit to being rude for no reason other than you don't like animals... Some people love animals. Get over it, no need to be sarcastic because you don't. So yeah, bitter.

Anyway done with your goading, not derailing further. Enjoy the last word. Toodles.

bragmatic · 27/07/2012 05:20

Where did I say I didn't like animals? My post was directed at their OWNERS.

Toodles!!

Gosh I did enjoy that.

Dirtymistress · 27/07/2012 06:19

Really StabbyMacStabby? Do you teach your kids to say 'fuck off' to anyone who disagrees with them? Alongside allowing them to be fearful of ALL dogs after an incident with ONE. That's lovely. I do hope they are never frightened by an actual person - cos then they'd never be able to leave the house would they? The OP would never have had the dilemma in the first place if univited children weren't afraid of her dog, because of a possible incident with a completely different dog. It's always hard to take responsiblity for your own actions and easier to blame someone else isn't it? It's amusing that i was mocked for the tarantula thing and yet they are just BIG spiders aren't they? And spiders are everywhere. I think you'll find that Great Danes, Wolfhounds etc are just BIG dogs - did you not realise?

exoticfruits · 27/07/2012 06:49

There are some very strange people around! I haven't got a dog but if my children invite local children into the garden when the dog is out they have a simple choice - accept the dog or don't come in. Cats are different, unless you keep the poor things indoors with a litter tray, you can't control where they go. I wouldn't keep a cat unless it was free to come and go as it wished.

Morloth · 27/07/2012 06:53

Whether the kids are afraid of the dog with good reason or not isn't actually relevant.

The OP's dog is on the OP's property.

The kids can like it or lump it IMO.

exoticfruits · 27/07/2012 07:01

They know it is there - they decide on that basis.

2rebecca · 27/07/2012 08:02

I'm not a dog fan but if kids go round someone's garden with a dog then I wouldn't expect the dog to be put away. Similar if invited round to tea in house with dog (although I would expect to be warned there's a dog if young child so I could decline if child not happy with dogs). The mum who moaned was being very rude. I would have said "sorry this is our garden and we have a dog, if she doesn't like dogs she can play elsewhere."
I would tell your kids to make clear before they bring kids round that there is a dog and if some kids aren't happy with a dog they don't come.

MammyToMany · 27/07/2012 08:25

YANBU

My 8 year old is nervous around dogs he isn't familiar with (he was badly bitten on the face a couple of years ago by a Doberman/Rottie cross needing stitches etc) but it would be his choice to play in a garden with a dog and we never ask people to shut their dogs away when we go round - he needs to get used to dogs and learn how to act around them as he will be meeting dogs a lot through out his life and it would make his life difficult if he continues to be nervous of them.

He is getting much better though.

treadheavily · 27/07/2012 08:36

But it's nothing to do with children being scared of dogs, is it? It's a complaint about a neighbour foisting her children onto you. That's the issue. If the children were invited, presumably you would want them to feel welcome and therefore help them to feel comfortable whether or not they were keen on dogs. Or do you just hate people who don't love your dogs?

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