to not want to shut my dog away for uninvited visiting children?

[freddiefrog]

it's a gorgeous day, DH and I are doing some stuff in the garden and I seem to have a dozen neighbourhood kids in and out of the garden.

2 of which are scared of the dog and are freaking out every time he goes within 20 foot of them

He's a Springer Spaniel and is very friendly, wouldn't hurt any of them and is totally focussed on chasing the grass clipping around the garden and ignoring them anyway, but DH and I are both out in there with them all in any case

I had shut him indoors but it's hot in the house and he wants to be outside with us all so I've told them that the dog is a member of our family, he lives here and has every right to be in the garden so they'll have to ignore him or go and play at home

If the children are invited guests and are frightened then I would put the dog inside while they are here. If the children have chosen to come over uninvited then it's not your concern and I'd keep your dog outside.

I grew up with English Setters and my friends would come over and poke them (they were fat old and sheep like) squeal in their faces and run away shouting 'it's chasing me'. I would be very confused about this as the dogs rarely opened their eyes. The parents would ask mine to shut them away etc. The kids would then talk endlessly about what if the dog did this and that - all very dramatic and unlikely.

It was the novelty obviously and they wanted an excuse to run around squealing. But it really pissed me off as i just wanted to play and was quite used to the rugs, sorry i mean dogs, laying there doing faff all.

Don't shut the dog away and tell cats bum mum to eff off. :)

And my daughter is 10 yo, we've had this for years. She's getting better, in her own time.

YADNBU. I would ask the kids to take a hike .

Thats understandable Ermagerd, but the wee girl was loving it. She was encouraging the puppy to jump up (I dont usually allow jumping up) so it really did seem like an overreaction. And then the girl felt that she had to go away from the dog and all the other kids.

Personally I would rather my DD learns that dogs can bite from a tiny puppy nip than a full on dog bite. But thats just my choice. I can see why parents want to protect their kids from everything, but I try to let DD learn from experience rather than anything. Provided she is safe ofcourse.

Thing is-if your daughter has brought them round-are they uninvited?

I suppose when I say uninvited I mean not previously arranged

Like when you invite them round for tea after school or something iyswim.

Kids were playing out front, DH and I were pottering in garden with dog, kids all came in through the gate together.

They've all gone home now thank goodness.

I don't like dogs (or cats for that matter) and when I go to friends houses the animals normally get shut in a different room, or get complately ignored, but in your case I think you are perfectly within your rights to have your dog outside on a hot day, regardless of whether their are childen around who don't like him or not. They have their own homes to go to if they prefer to.

you'll be prepared next time (lock the gate)

If you'd invited my DD for tea, then I'd hope you'd say "Oh I'll put dog in the kitchen just now"

after the dog has checked out who is in his house. Then when it's gone quieter, she'd most likely want to say hello (at a distance) and give him a biscuit or something.
But I wouldn't accept an invitation unless someone knew what my DD was like.

And definately wouldn't expect you to put your dog elsewhere to accomodate a couple of children who weren't meant to be there.

Ah, tell them all to feck off!

Id say to them well you can stay in the garden or GO HOME yes i am that brutal with children who demand things when they used to play uninvited, 1 didnt like the cat 1 was scared of the dog another thought our grass needed cut so she could do cartwheels that little angel was sent packing

Mine stay where they normally stay if the children are simply being hysterical and silly however I am more patient with genuine fear and would spend time slowly introducing the child to the calmest dog and then the bouncier one etc.

Mostly the 'fear' is just borne from a need to be silly in which case they're given short thrift and usually over come their fear when they're offered the option of being taken home.

Oh, definitely, he gets shut away if we invite someone back for tea or something (actually, another neighbour has him round for a couple of hours to play with her dog)

But on occasions like today, we weren't prepared for them and we hadn't arranged for them to come over. It was hot indoors, he wanted to be out with the rest of us. We shut him in for a while but he was crying and yelping and as DH and I both had stuff to do in the garden we didn't want to go and sit inside with him.

I don't mind the kids playing in our garden and apart from the 2 who were scared, they played really nicely and I didn't hear a peep from any of them other than posting cold drinks through the playhouse door at regular intervals

Well i wouldn't shut my animals away even if the guests were invited. if they know you have dogs it's their choice to accept.

Ah but Dooin doesn't the DevilDog eat small children?
And WhippyDog whips small children?

Whippy actually does whip small children. She can't help it, her tail wags at 100mph every time she spots a child. It wags so hard her whole body wags with it impeding her ability to walk in straight line, she is forced to wiggle along the pavement, usually in a play bow to indicate her desire to be loved and played with.

Even kids who are horrified of dogs cannot help but laugh at the funny dog in clothes who wiggles with her bum in the air

wannabe: The whole thing really baffles me. I can understand parents teaching kids to be wary of unknown dogs, Im the same, but a puppy!! Seems that a lot of parents are filling their kids full of fears.
No, some people just don't like dogs/puppies.

YANBU though OP. Your DD did invite the other children over so they weren't uninvited but they came to join in with whatever you were doing!

'You will get the haterz soon though....'

I'm not a hater, but I am a dog disliker and I often join in on threads.

I think you are being perfectly fair if the children are self-invited and can choose where they are. They either put some effort into learning how to behave around your dog, or they go.
It's unfair for your dog to be inside instead of enjoying himself with his family in his own garden.

I'm not at all keen on dogs, butbYANBU if the kids are uninvited: it's just a thing about your home which they're going to have to factor in before they descend! If you'd asked them round and knew they weren't comfortable around dogs in advance, that would be different.

I grew up with springer spaniels (working ones rather than pets) and was terrified of dogs. I hated the way they bounded around etc. I wasn't scared of getting bitten/attacked, but did fine them bouncing about v initimidating. no-one ever did anyhting to feed these fears or whatever.

YADNBU though.

Yanbu. There are a couple of kids on our street who were petrified of our mad staffy at first, she is admittedly very bouncy, licky and friendly. I refused to shut her in the house, but explained to the scared kids that the more they run away screaming, the more excited she gets and wants to join in. Once they realised she would sit when asked, do high fives, roll over etc etc, they thought this was fab and now play happily with her. I considered it a major achievement when I spotted a little girl who was terrified to even be in the same room as the dog, laying on the grass giggling as my dog lay next to her, licking her ear. Obv if dog is getting over excited I call her in, but most of the time she follows the kids up the steps and down the slide, I've even caught her being pushed whilst standing on the middle of the double swing with a child on each end.
Don't even mention the fun we have when the paddling pool comes out!

YANBU

I never really had a problem with dogs growing up (cat family), but next-door-but-one whose daughter I played with had a shopfront & a doberman who would always run up barking to the panel windows & door when I called for my friend which scared me a bit. Then one time, my prat of a father had gone out for the day while I was at school and got stuck on the motorway coming back so I went to the neighbour to ask if I could call my DM in work (ah, the days before mobile phones). DM spoke to our neighbour to ask if it was ok for me to stay with them until she finished work or my father turned up, whichever came first. Neighbour agreed, but it meant I had to go out the back to the living area to play with my friend (rather than hanging around the shop). Obviously, the dog was there - my friend occupied the dog with one of its toys for a while then started to get me involved. By the time my DM got home, I was playing happily with the dog and never had a problem with it again.

Fast forward about 10 years when I was 18 and I was staying with my GP's when my uncle, aunt & my then 5yo cousin arrived. GP's alsatian had to be locked in the conservatory because my cousin was scared of dogs after his aunt's dog had barked at him as a toddler in his pushchair. I thought it wasn't fair, but could see my cousin's distress at the lonely dog pawing & whining at the patio doors. So, I went out to fuss the dog where my cousin could see us, then persuaded him to allow the doors to be opened explaining that the dog was lonely on its own. I then gradually brought the dog in and with all the grown ups' help convinced my cousin to stroke the dog within 10 minutes. It took a few more years before his fear totally went, but at least I was able to show him that not all dogs were scary and make visits to our GP's less nerve-wracking for him.

YANBU at all, it's your house, your rules.

I'm in a slightly difficult predicament. We've been invited to a BBQ to one of DS1s nursery friends parents. 4 kids and 4 sets of parents going. They've got a big dog. DS1 doesn't like dogs (bad experience with a German Shepherd running at him a couple of years ago), particularly talks about not wanting to be licked.

When we went to my sisters (she was looking after a dog at the time), DS1 stayed in the play house because of the dogs.

What do I do? I'm desperate for him not to be scared of dogs. I try to get him used to the neighbours dogs, show no fear around dogs myself. DS2 loves dogs.

DS1 has asked if the dog will be there. I've said yes, its her house too and she is a lovely dog, blah blah blah. But I know DS1 will clam up there because of the dog. What do I do? I'm tempted to explain to the mum that he is a bit nervous around dogs, but we're trying slowly to get him used to them. I don't want the dog locked away, but I'm hoping by saying something it might explain my sons evident nervous behaviour! I don't know these people that well.