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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to complain to my neighbours?

56 replies

yellowraincoat · 26/07/2012 07:09

My neighbours' kitchen is directly above my bedroom. I get up at around 6.30 or 7 depending on the day. They get up earlier, at about 6 or 6.15. They have two young babies who they feed in the kitchen, meaning it is very noisy, wailing, cajoling, singing etc.

They are noisy pretty much all the time, which is probably why this frustrates me so much, but I am also losing up to an hour of sleep every night because of this. I don't know how they can't realise it's annoying! They have a large house with 2 floors above us and we are in the basement, so it's not like they don't have plenty of other places where they could go.

I have tried wearing ear plugs, but I find it really hard to sleep with them in because I hate not being able to hear. It makes me feel really anxious (we were broken into a year ago while I was in the house and had ear plugs in).

Would I be unreasonable to put a note upstairs or have a word or should I just put up with it? I'm only living here for another 6 weeks anyway so I don't care too much about neighbourly relations at this point!

OP posts:

ripsishere · 26/07/2012 07:13

TBH, for the sake of six weeks, I'd either wear the earplugs or accept that they make family noise. It isn't as if they are having club nights till 4am.
Why haven't you said anything sooner?

Sirzy · 26/07/2012 07:18

Go to bed an hour earlier?

With young children the kitchen will be a pretty important room at breakfast so to expect it not to be used because your asleep is daft.

SamsGoldilocks · 26/07/2012 07:27

Really? Quarter if an hour sleep us bothering you that much.

Noise in the evening when I'm trying to sleep would but otherwise, I'd leave it.

maybe they don't realise your bedroom is below the kitchen.

Sunnydelight · 26/07/2012 07:30

If you were staying longer it might be worth a word, but for six weeks I'd just leave it tbh. It sounds like a badly thought out arrangement though - we lived in a house that was converted into 4 flats when DS1 was small, one floor each, and it was in the freehold that you couldn't move the rooms around. All the kitchens were on top of each other, the bedrooms and living rooms ditto which minimized problems.

I wouldn't want to feed two small children anywhere except the kitchen while they were at the messy stage, assuming it's large enough to have a table in. I'm a great believer in getting on with your neighbours but if you approached me I would apologize for disturbing you and make a real effort to be quieter at breakfast time, but ultimately if you couldn't live with it I would politely suggest that YOU switch your bedroom round or do the ceiling insulation thing. There is no legal right of complaint about normal noise made by children.

JumpingThroughHoops · 26/07/2012 07:30

If you get up at 6.30 and they get up at 6.15, what exactly is the problem? I can't see that 15 minutes is going to wreck your whole day.

What would you prefer? Telling the neighbours to not feed the children, or having them screaming for food?

For the sake of six weeks, I wouldnt say or do anything. Simply because if I were we them and I was told to not use a kitchen or its purpose, you can guarantee I would then have the radio on, the washing machine going, the dishwasher, and possibly be hoovering as well, just to piss you right off and make your last six weeks hell on earth - what with you not caring about neighbourly relations n'all that

JeezyPeeps · 26/07/2012 07:33

I'm sure they know exactly how annoying it is - after all, they get it full volume!

YABU to make assumptions about how they should know it affects you, but YANBU to ask if they could take the babies elsewhere first thing. But if it was me I would grin and bear it as you are not losing a lot of sleep, you could go to bed earlier with the idea that you do things first thing instead of in the evening, and it's only 6 weeks.

I'm sure if they could have quieter babies they would!

Original poster

yellowraincoat · 26/07/2012 07:35

They know our bedroom is below the kitchen.

Not sure why people are saying it's 15 minutes - some days I don't have to get up until 7 so it is up to an hour. If it was 15 minutes, I wouldn't complain would I?

I couldn't put in ceiling installation. I rent. They own theirs.

Jumping - would you seriously annoy people on purpose? Wow. You sound lovely.

ripisphere - I haven't said anything because they have only started getting up that early in the last few weeks.

I don't get how making noise in the morning (FAMILY noise) is so much more acceptable than making noise in the evening. I have always thought about the people below me when I lived upstairs. I find it so weird that others don't. They are constantly making noise, have wooden floorboards, so I hear everything. Like I said in my OP, if it was this one thing, it wouldn't annoy me so much, but it's ALL the time. Parties, thumping up and down, music til 2 in the morning... it's horrible and I can't wait to leave.

But I guess AIBU so I will go to work.

OP posts:

Original poster

yellowraincoat · 26/07/2012 07:36

Jeezy - it's really not the crying that bothers me so much as the neighbours singing, shouting to each other, thumping back and forth, blending stuff, crashing plates around.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 26/07/2012 07:38

I love how because you have been told you are being unreasonable all of a sudden the list of issues grows massively!

imnotmymum · 26/07/2012 07:39

Do you have kids OP ??

Babylon1 · 26/07/2012 07:39

I would be inclined to put up with it for 6 weeks if you're moving anyway. Have they only just moved in or have you been putting up with it for some time already?

Raspberrysorbet · 26/07/2012 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeezyPeeps · 26/07/2012 07:40

Well I dont think there's much you can do about the noise of plates/the blender - its a kitchen and while it's early, it's not an unusual time to have to get up.

Maybe you could try sleeping in the couch?

Northernexile · 26/07/2012 07:42

Mmmmm you didn't mention the parties at the start! Can't be too often they have the music thumping till 2am if they have small kids and are up at 6.15, can it? FWIW I think YABU and if I were you I would just put up with a bit of noise in the mornings if you are only there another six weeks.

JumpingThroughHoops · 26/07/2012 07:42

Jumping - would you seriously annoy people on purpose? Wow. You sound lovely.

Your OP came across as aggressive I don't care too much about neighbourly relations at this point! therefore if you turned up on my doorstep with that attitude you quite possibly would get it back 10 fold.

You obviously don't have children or have been in any proximity to them for any length of time. You cannot shut gurgling toddlers/babies up. Eventually they get out of that phase. But you won't be there, so no matter really.

Babylon1 · 26/07/2012 07:42

Wow, parties with thumping music til 2am all the time and two DCs up at 6am - your neighbours have got some serious stamina in the sleep deprivation department

Raspberrysorbet · 26/07/2012 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreeBirdsFlying · 26/07/2012 07:43

They party til two in the morning and are still able to sing and blend at seven for two babies. Yeah right.

PedanticPanda · 26/07/2012 07:47

I'd hate to be woken up that early every morning, I can see where you're coming from. Could you save the ear plugs for the mornings where you don't need to get up until 7 or sleep on the couch those nights so you're not woken up? Just keep thinking; only 6 more weeks.

jumping you sound like a horrible person, thank god I don't live next to you!

Liketochat1 · 26/07/2012 07:49

Yanbu. Well I'm with you op. Sleep is precious when you have a baby and they could keep their neighbour in mind at 6 in the morning. Nothing wrong with asking at all.

Raspberrysorbet · 26/07/2012 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBucketxx · 26/07/2012 07:52

in a flat they could seem like they are partying even when its a bottle of wine some music and a chat. you can see them do how do you know?

just be thankful the babies sleep through they could wake up every three hours etc.

you obviously have no children, they are noisy little things ALL the time. next time get a flat on the top floor and voila no noise from above.

MrsBucketxx · 26/07/2012 07:54

you can't see them. i mean

ErnesttheBavarian · 26/07/2012 07:57

We use a flat occasionally and are always constantly concerned about the people below us. I have big thumping nearly teens as well and even they manage to tone it down when we are there. Walk gently, don't thud. It's just basic manners in a flat.

Am astonished and depressed to hear upon learning their behaviour caused you sleep disturbance, some people would respond by being even more noisy. How depressing.

An hour a day is crap, and I always find being woken up at that time worse as you tend to be in a deep sleep just before you start the wake up process, so having that cut off always makes me feel groggier somehow. poor you.

You could try and speak to them, but I doubt they would change rooms for the feeding etc, so I doubt it will improve a lot.

So I would just hold on, and pray your next place is lovely and quiet :)

Nanny0gg · 26/07/2012 08:02

Why is having children an excuse not to be considerate?
Apart from the wailing (unavoidable), the noise the OP objects to seems to be created by the adults.
It could be toned down a bit.

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