Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be scared to death our childminder has erected a swimming pool in her garden?

139 replies

NotAnotherNewNappy · 25/07/2012 18:45

Just picked the DS's up from our normally lovely CM to find she now has a pool in her garden Shock

It's one of those big paddling pools (about 3 foot high, 8 foot wide - I only had a quick look). She explained it was for the bigger kids and that she bought the bigger size so DS (14mo) wouldn't be able to climb into it. Now the thought of DS somehow managing to push a step to it and climb in unnoticed has left me feeling queasy. I also have a 4yo DD, but I think she's big enough to stand up in it... But does this mean it's safe for her?

AIBU? I have suffered PND and anxiety so have no idea. All I know is drowning is the second most common reason for death among young children and that if she'd had the bloody thing when I was looking for a CM then I'd never have hired her.

OP posts:
Accuracyrequired · 26/07/2012 22:11

Bartaesmus, good link. Would be nice if you could link to the other thread (but gah about finding it!)

Accuracyrequired · 26/07/2012 22:13

my older DC (7 & 6) are capable swimmers

This is no guarantee of anything. It may make them overconfident.

thebody · 26/07/2012 23:19

I wouldn't have one as an ex cm.

I Was ultra ultra obsessed with safety and couldn't take the stress of this at all. I don't think the parents would have been happy either to be honest.

Risk assessments are fine and dandy, I had loads, but they add nothing to a child's safety they are purely a paper exercise.

thebody · 26/07/2012 23:22

And to add 14 month old children can amaze you in how they climb when they want to. The pool will be a magnate to every child.

As a cm I say again never ever and as a mom I would remove my kids, honestly.

qo · 26/07/2012 23:58

What's LSD safe?

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 27/07/2012 00:09

Sarah - I have just spent an hour looking and can't find the bloody site I wanted to show you. Until I read it, I would have felt the same as you. Basically it explains why adults and children should not swim alone and how even strong swimmers can drown. You know you need to kick your feet/move your arms/shout but you are unable to make yourself do it. If no one sees you, you drown - it's how a lot of people die even when there are lots of people around them, just not watching for them specifically - drowing is silent because you don't/can't 'thrash around'.

Accuracyrequired · 27/07/2012 00:49

this has the link about non-apparent drowning

It's about how you can even be with a child in the water drowning and not realise, if you don't have a good awareness of water safety.

Sorry it's a massive thread and no pages so it's like scroll through and might take five or six years to find the link. Confused

Accuracyrequired · 27/07/2012 01:20

gosh am stupid this should work best of all

SaraBellumHertz · 27/07/2012 07:06

accuracy you see I'm struggling how in an average sized domestic pool that would be relevant (although I totally accept your point re for example the sea and for that reason I would never allow them to swim unaccompanied in the sea - although since last time she did DD1 was stung by a jellyfish there is little chance of her even paddling...)

Like all things in life you calculate risk and I am entirely happy with the risk of leaving my DC on the side of the pool whilst I turn my back for a couple of minutes. For not one but two remote incidents to occur: one they randomly fall in and two they panic is just so unlikely.

I am far more concerned about my DD horse riding and my DS skateboarding (one dislocated shoulder, 3 stitches in his chin, 2 stitches in his eyebrow: 3 separate incidents) but I suspect I would be called mad if I curtailed those activities.

alistron1 · 27/07/2012 08:14

These aren't average sized domestic pools. We had one a few years ago. In theory they sound great but a) they take forever to fill b) they take forever to empty and c) they are bloody freezing.

We had ours up for about 3 days, I warned near neighbours with small kids (just in case they went wandering into our garden) and made sure our garden was secure and no little kids could get in.

The pool was deep enough for ME to float in it. And the sides are high/have little purchase. They are great fun for grown ups/big kids but I wouldn't entertain getting one if I had a toddler.

Accuracyrequired · 27/07/2012 09:22

The average sized domestic pool? Not sure what you mean. Children can drown in a couple of inches of water. They can drown in a bath, which is a lot smaller than the average sized pool. Don't get it.

5madthings · 27/07/2012 11:44

it doesnt matter how big the pool is! all it takes is one of your children to slip, say they bang their head and then fall in? they could be unconscious or simply panic and not be able to swim.

op glad you got it sorted :)

biddysmama · 27/07/2012 12:20

yanbu, i tend to concentrate on things like that so iwould bethinking about itconstantly while dc was there and would have to change childminder or myanxiety would drive me mad

Dahlen · 27/07/2012 12:24

By next week she'll have taken it down because the weather is going to be pants again. Sad

SaraBellumHertz · 28/07/2012 06:11

accuracy in response to my comment that my children were "capable swimmers* you replied this wasn't guarantee and that it may make them over confident. I was trying to explore the relevance of your comment.

I can see that said overconfidence would be problematic if it led them to believe they could swim across a long distance or in a strong current but I was talking about my DC being left by an "average sized domestic pool" - one that they could swim repeated lengths without any difficulty whatsoever.

5mad There could of course be some sort of freak accident in which a sitting child suddenly fell unconscious into the pool but there is an equal chance of that happening to me whilst I am swimming with my youngest yet no one has ever suggested to me that is inappropriate (although I suspect someone now will)

As accuracy pointed out children can drown in inches of water but at some point we all start permitting our dc to bath alone (far more risk of slipping with all that soap and shiny enamel). It interests me from a risk perspective that people consider one to be so much worse than the other.

3boysandagirl · 28/07/2012 13:47

In response to the 'silent drowning.' when my twins were about 2 we went to a BBQ. The garden had a pond in so me and my dh closely supervised our boys.
The boys hadn't shown any interest in the pond and were busy playing with the toys, we let our guard slip.

Later in the afternoon we were sitting round a table chatting ( not many of us) when something ( I don't know what) made me turn around. To my horror one of my boys was in the pond!!! He was on his front trying to keep his head out of water, gasping!
I legged it over, screaming and dragged him out. He was absolutely fine, just shocked but we weren't. The most frightening thing was the fact we didn't hear splashing or anything that you would expect to hear in that situation.

It haunts me now to think what could have happened, if I hadn't have turned round, he would have drowned with us just feet away. The family whose BBQ we'd been to filled the pond in. It scared the living daylights out of everyone.

So op, don't send your dc to cm unless she gets rid of pool. It's just not worth it, she only needs to be distracted once!

3boysandagirl · 28/07/2012 13:49

In response to the 'silent drowning.' when my twins were about 2 we went to a BBQ. The garden had a pond in so me and my dh closely supervised our boys.
The boys hadn't shown any interest in the pond and were busy playing with the toys, we let our guard slip.

Later in the afternoon we were sitting round a table chatting ( not many of us) when something ( I don't know what) made me turn around. To my horror one of my boys was in the pond!!! He was on his front trying to keep his head out of water, gasping!
I legged it over, screaming and dragged him out. He was absolutely fine, just shocked but we weren't. The most frightening thing was the fact we didn't hear splashing or anything that you would expect to hear in that situation.

It haunts me now to think what could have happened, if I hadn't have turned round, he would have drowned with us just feet away. The family whose BBQ we'd been to filled the pond in. It scared the living daylights out of everyone.

So op, don't send your dc to cm unless she gets rid of pool. It's just not worth it, she only needs to be distracted once!

trixymalixy · 28/07/2012 13:50

I would have thought the answer to that was blindingly obvious. A bath isn't as deep as a swimming pool, kids can always touch the bottom and you're always within reaching distance of a side in a bath.

Jupiterscock · 28/07/2012 13:52

I don't think I've witnessed such hysteria for a very long time!

Ho won earth do some of you even manage to get up in the mornings and piss by yourselves?

It is NOT normal to be so paranoid and neurotic. Deal with that.

trixymalixy · 28/07/2012 13:55

I'll be as paranoid about my children's safety as I feel is necessary, thank you.
Biscuit Deal with that.

3boysandagirl · 28/07/2012 13:57

I think where water in ponds and pools are concerned you can't be neurotic and paranoid enough!

trixymalixy · 28/07/2012 13:58

I totally agree 3boys.

Jupiterscock · 28/07/2012 14:09

Then I pity your poor kids, Trixy.

Jupiterscock · 28/07/2012 14:11

How many of you drive your kids about daily? You do all know that cars are the biggest killers, don't you and that every single time you drive your children about you risk their lives?

But I bet my bottom dollar not one of you pauses to ever think about that because it's so convenient to drive them everywhere.