to expect mum at playground to entertain her own child?

[Liketochat1]

In the playground this morning I spent a hot half hour pushing someone else's child round the roundabout and entertaining him with a game of 'train driver'. Now, my dd was there too playing on the roundabout with him and joining in the game, but AIBU to expect the mum/nanny to stop sunbathing/texting and help or acknowledge me (or more importantly the child)?
Am I just grumpy because I'm hot and tired or do I have a point?

Is it wrong that I'm laughing at your use of "guttural"

I am now imagining you saying your post in a deep throaty voice

Visceral!

think I got cofusef with gut instinct?

cofusef, is very similar to confused

YABU .You took on the role of entertainer.

I do have to follow DS around because
(1) He's not 2 yet and not that good at expressing himself
(2) he's bloody huge and can be grabby/bargy when excited, so I'm keen he doesn't shove other kids
(3) He has no idea about what's dangerous to leap from, what's a bad idea to put in his mouth (urghghgh) and he really really wants to run up to moving vehicles and give them a sloppy kiss

I'm saying: I play with him. When he wanders over to other kids I think YAY! He's learning to socialise! And then I follow him to check he's not stealing their lunch money or whatever it is toddlers do to each other that's awful. I am conscious that he's much bigger than most of his peers and could therefore do some damage if not taught to be gentle. I know he likes playing games with me. I also find endless hide-and-seek variations really boring. At least pushing a swing I can listen to radio 4 podcasts on the sly, while maintaining a steady response to his chirruping.

I'm also saying: If someone ELSE played with him, I'd be over the bloody moon. It's not a "I'm a great parent because I'm neglectful." competition. It's a "kids play with other kids at park, that sounds nice" conversation, surely?

LOL beejezus. I'm laughing like a drain now. Think the is helping

Blackcurrant my boy is now 3.5 and still does a number of those gems you listed. So I do try and just watch but still have to intervene at times. God help his school nursery teacher in September

Like the OP I would've been following my 2.5 year old around the park because he would get very cross and sonetimes bite.

I took my DS to soft play today, it was pretty empty probably because it was very hot and we live by the sea. I was so relieved as I cannot stand soft play. My DS is 5 and is very easy going now so I could just sit back with my coffee as DD was asleep throughout the whole session. However, If she was awake I would've followed her as she is a fearless 15 month old, she is not interested in other children though, in fact she often hides behind my legs. The trouble with not following a toddler is that often the parent misses stuff and with a young 2 year old it is often about snatching or pushing as they are not able to play with others that well still if something goes wrong. At soft play there was a young just turned 2 year old, may e younger, he kept snatching and pushing and then bit another child. The mum reacted but only afterwards because she was told by parents of the other children. She actually told her eldest daughter off who was about 8 for not keeping an eye on him!

On a side note I don't take my DC to necessarily socialise, I feel I should take them for the exercise and fresh air but the only interactive game I play is cafes as DS asks me what drink I would like but I don't reply loudly!

I tend to leave my 4yo to her own devices in the park, only stepping in to help her with something. But if I see her "monopolising" another family's time (it hardly ever happens though) then I will step in - go up to them all - to gauge if she is being a nuisiance to them or not. Usually though it's just her and other children playing together at this age and all the parents reading the paper/smartphones/entertaining toddlers/babies.

I ignore mine at park, unless they are hurt. If you want to play with them great though.

can't you just use park time as a time to observe your child? When my DS was that age, he pottered around while I rested with a coffee, always had him within sight, but my goodness, I was never to be seen playing with other kids or going down the slide

I did all that in my youth...

Whilst it is obviously fine to let your kid have a play on their own and sit and read or text or whatever, you know there is nothing wrong with playing with your dc in the park either, if they are enjoying it and you want to! The way some people are talking on here, it's as though you are doing something absolutely ridiculous and curbing any future independence if you want to play with your dc!

Also it is different strokes for different folks, my dd1 always wanted me to hang around nearby and join in sometimes, because she has always been very wary of other people. Dd2 would run over and join in with other children and entertain herself, and ds can't use any of the play equipment without help, so i have to get involved.

my friend and her dh always play with their children at soft play and parks etc but her dh hates it as they invariably get other children wanting to join in their games and end up with trails of children following around - as much as they need to learn independent play children do like to play with grownups and can learn much from this too. My other friends dd age 6yrs always comes and asks her to play in the soft play with her as well as dashing off if she sees someone she knows.

I can see why you would be slightly miffed, but meh at least your dd had a little playmate.

Can't wait until ds2 (2) is old enough not to walk in front of swings and launch himself off high things, then I too will be one of those Mothers I envy, who sit and read.

There is a park near us with no swings and no roundabout, I have just realised why it is so relaxing to go there, they all just potter in the sandpit and play with random kids, I do have to help them a bit with some things, but it's so much easier.

I do do the odd thing in parks with my children, just not the local park and it would be things like death/drop slides or those water pillow things whatever there called that you jump on, and I used to push them on swings very rarely
Its not about winning medals for not playing in the park with your kids, its about the park is for them to let off energy and socialise. They have parks and we have pubs Liketochat1 Everyone has different ways of parenting and everyone feels there way is best thats just how it is, when your Dd is 4/5 and you can sunbathe all day and only see her when shes hungry / thirsty you might change your mind.

Just got back to this- in need of brandy- I have an 8 year old and a 6 year old too. I'm well able to let them run off socialize, be creative, play imaginary games whilst I watch from a bench at a distance.
That's quite different from leaving a mum of a toddler to play with my 3 year old who needs attention whilst I sit down and relax.
Mrs J Murphy- you are right about dd having a playmate. She liked it so I should just be happy about that. You are right I know.

Just out of Interest, if the other mother had come and said something friendly like oh I hope he's not being a nuisance, would you have said well yes actually I don't want him to play with us any more? Or would you have said no no its fine?

Maybe the mum has the same condition I have. I cannot look at a swing swinging, much less push a child in one without getting seasick and vomiting. Same goes for roundabouts, seesaws, boats in the sea, large movie screens. Wasn't too much of a problem with ds because he had the same issue and never wanted to go on the swings. Unfortunately, dd was always desperate to be pushed on the swings, but I truly couldn't. I am sure there is a whole parade of mothers out there who think I'm crap and lazy because I sat in the park looking the opposite way of my dd on the swing being pushed by someone else.

As DS is only recently only enough to appreciate the play stuff at the park, I don't know the etiquette at all. He's 13 months, so I have to play with him, but other children always seem to want to join in too. I had 3 extras yesterday on the slide/house thing and they seemed to really want adult interaction. And biscuits.

Oooooooooo
Bet she came from nm