to expect mum at playground to entertain her own child?

[Liketochat1]

In the playground this morning I spent a hot half hour pushing someone else's child round the roundabout and entertaining him with a game of 'train driver'. Now, my dd was there too playing on the roundabout with him and joining in the game, but AIBU to expect the mum/nanny to stop sunbathing/texting and help or acknowledge me (or more importantly the child)?
Am I just grumpy because I'm hot and tired or do I have a point?

No one is making you play, OP - don't do it then whinge afterwards!

I manage about 50-50 trailing around/sitting and watching with my 23 month old. My the time he is 3 I fully intend to be sunbathing with a book!

Oh gosh, this thread has reminded me how bloody boring it is to take small toddlers to the park.

There is a boy who plays in "our" playground, whose mother is always hovering over him and joining in his games - tbh the other kids avoid the poor child - he is the same age as my DS1 and they play together at Kindergarten, so sometimes when I see him in the playground I suggest Ds1 might want to play with him, but DS1 says "his mum is always too much there and we can't even play properly" :o

Where's op got to? The park?

You are too gracious, MrsDeVere, I can't cope
DS is very good at entertaining himself with Ipad apps while I take five minutes off do something honest and hardworking and good-parenty in another room. I think the training starts early :)

Nobody asked you to entertain her kid and I'm sure children would much prefer to play with other kids without overprotective parents hovering over them, interfering with all the fun.

Parents should be in the background keeping an eye out to make sure they're not getting up to anything too dangerous or being mean to others. Not 'entertaining' them, stand back and let your kid develop the imagination and social skills to entertain herself and interact with others.

I long for the day I can sit and relax at the park. Ds is 5 but dd is only 22 months - she can climb and everything and doesn't want me there but has a tendency to eat things she shouldn't, hit other kids and fall off tall slides.

When ds was just 3 he was playing with 'big boys' read 4 year olds and fell over - dh ran over and ds hissed 'daddy go away I'm trying to be cool'

lol worrying

Some parents don't parent at all shrug but I would be pissed off too, went to a local family event and my DD saw a friend of hers, her mother was quite happy for her child to tag along with me and my DD even though if bought food or took my child on a ride I would obligated to do the same for hers as well, was really pissed off as I can barely afford to entertain my child let alone hers who is very very persistent.Eventually had to tell said child to return to her mother, who had no shame .

I would be the mum texting, ; the whole idea of the park is to let them play .

surely there aren't mums daft enough to pay for another child's rides/food if that child is tagging along ?

Surely one of the main reasons children are taken to the park is to be allowed to socialise with other children in an environment that is safe ie supervised by adults.
How are children supposed to learn about making friends/ negotiating games, turns etc if an adult is directly involved in the play all the time ?

Many parents bemoan the fact that today's children can't go out to play in the same way as in the past but frankly a lot of them wouldn't be able to cope without an adult's input. Think about it.
Perhaps some mothers want their children to develop skills that will last a lifetime but that have very firm base built in childhood.

When our ds's were younger and asked to go on the swing (for the billo

OP I think you're wierd, I'm always happy if DS makes temporary little friends at the playground!

I'm sure they would have continued playing together quite happily if you'ld have gone and sat down too, was your choice to play helicopter mom! YABU to expect the other mother to do so aswell.

Looks like the majority think I'm hot, tired and grumpy then!
I should have said in the op, my dd is 2.5 so still needs supervision on the play equipment really. This other child was a bit older, maybe newly 3. He wanted someone to play with and some interaction. I just felt a bit put upon to be providing him with it whilst his mother lay there in the sunshine.
I realize she didn't ask me to play with him but he was one of those children who just tag along because they are looking for company and I didn't want to be mean.
And I actually like playing with dd at the park. Does that mean I therefore have to entertain other people's children? Wouldn't it cross a parent's mind to come over and check their child isn't being irritating? Evidently not!

When our ds's were younger and asked to go on the swing (for the billionth time) we used to point at a far off spit and say "look, over there, quick run!" they'd be so excited at the nothing we were pointing at they'd forget about the swing and run off. They also
Learned to swing themselves pretty quick too.

I'm a bad mummy! (he's 13 now and it doesn't work anymore!)

I get the OP's point. Think it depends on ages. Toddlers and babies in a busy public playground need supervision IMO. Think it's fine when they're a bit older but when you're potentially then looking after and entertaining two toddlers (or in my case - a very similar case, two toddlers and a baby), while mum goes off and has a chat to her mates, it's a bit of a liberty .

In my similar situation it felt mean to send the toddler away (and plainly wrong as they had as much right to be there). Also think there's a difference between another child coming up to play with yours (eg if my DC are digging in the sand and a child joins them, I'll just leave them to it) and if you're actually playing a game with your child and another wants to join in. Don't think it's that clear cut and I do think people sometimes take advantage of the fact that others are too polite to tell their kids to go away. That said, if you're playing on playground equipment (slide, roundabout etc) then you don't have exclusive use.

I agree Silky. My sons are 6 and 8. They run off and make friends. That's great. But, although I would like my 2 year old to make friends there too, I think she still needs supervision.

2 YOs need supervision, as in an eye kept on them so they don't leg it out the gate, they can however play together without input

You want a tip that almost always works with a white British child?
Pick up the interloper, hug them and cuddle them and say they are soooo scrummy.
Throw them into the air a few times, then carry them off to a different area of the park with your child.
You will be pursued by a hysterical parent attempting to retrieve her offspring.
Don't try it with children from more child-centered cultures, they will assume that you are normal and let you entertain the child all day.

"Wouldn't it cross a parent's mind to come over and check their child isn't being irritating? Evidently not"

nope because I doubt the majority of park users would prefer solitary use of it, I'ld imagine most like the social aspect! I'm gutted when I take DS to the park or soft play and it's empty!

LOL at Fallen!

liketochat... if you were pushing your dd on the roundabout then surely it didn't matter if the other child got on too? what did you want the other mum to do? come and help you push?
i wouldn't go and check that my child wasn't irritating someone just because he happened to want to go on the roundabout with them

God, I thought those mums who constantly entertain their kids, and never just let them be, do so because they LOVE doing that....

bit confused now.

I am the mum who takes a newspaper to the park, oh yes.

If you want to go down the slide with my kids and play peekaboo, I will graciously allow you to do so

Well put Foshizzle.

At 5, Ds can entertain himself, he was too young at 3 though. If your children are happy to play without you then fine - DS is most of the time. I wouldn't let DS pester a grown up and would call him away.

5madthings 'why would you tell the child to go and see what their parents are doing, they are probably watching them, the child can call for them/ go over to them if they want/need to!'. It is less aggressive than saying please stop following us around. Some people are happy to let other adults entertain their toddler; I didn't really want to. It happens less now DS is old enough join in to play.

I also think that a minority pay absolutely no attention to what their child is doing. The worst type of benign neglect happens in swimming pools on holiday. Can't wait for DS to be confident in water.