To feel sad that my DC will never call me mummy.

[honeytea]

I am pregnant and maybe slightly over emotional due to hormones with DC1. I am English but live in Sweden with my DP (he is Swedish) we intend to stay here as it's just such a lovely place to bring up kids.

We are planning on speaking both English and Swedish at home and sending the child to a Swedish nursery/school, possibly sending them to an international school as they get older, but from the beginning we want DC to feel "Swedish" as that is where our home is. Me and my DP have talked about what the baby should call us, we decided it will be best to use the Swedish "mamma" and "pappa" the reason for this is that all the kids books/TV shows will have a "mamma" in, also their little friends and teachers will talk about mamma so it could be confusing for DC to have a mummy not a mamma.

I can see the logic in using mamma, I also think it is really sweet how they never get to old to say mamma, my 35 year old DP calls him mum mamma still. A little bit of me feels really sad about never being someones mummy (I know there are bigger issues in the world)

Do you think it would be selfish to the child to insist on them calling me mummy when they will already be unusual because they have an english parent.

also, my children like being a bit unusual. They were born in Uruguay, and LOVE telling everyone about that :D

they are very very English to me though. Children DO become the nationality of the country they grow up in.

No No!!! Yiu need to use mummy for you and pappa for your DH.
Not the least because you are going to speak english to him. on't you think not would be confusing for him not to know how to say mummy and daddy in english? Or when your parents will ask him 'where is mummy?'

Serioulsy, my dcs are bilingual, we use my ways for mummy and DH ways for daddy and either of them has had issue AT ALL when starting nursery, reading books etc... They just learn that there are 2 ways to say mummy and daddy, the same than for all the other words!

DH and I are different nationalities and we had DS (3) in a different country.

I think your children should call you whatever seems natural and what sounds best to you. My son started calling me mamma because that's what DH called me to him in his native language. I called myself mummy which he heard less of.

DS now calls me mam, mamma or mummy depending on what he feels like at the time! We now live back in the UK and it hasn't reallychanged what he calls me tbh.

mummy indoors, mamma outdoors. children are very adaptable. or, when they (i'm assuming here that DC1 will be the first of many...) are a few years old, explain to them about english children using the world 'mummy'. they'll love it. don't worry. it will all be alright. you're going to love them and they're going to love you. whatever they call you will be fine by you.

You have had loads of answers, but we live in Germany and are here long term/ permanently. My kids call me Mummy and DH Daddy when they speak English and Mama and Papa in German, they switch automatically the same as every other word - they even alter the pronunciation of thier own names slightly according to language, all on instinct.

I never thought of using just Mummy and Daddy or just Mama and Papa, and see no reason to. The 2 who are old enough to talk fluently will say "Mummy can I go to the playground?" then turn to their friend and say "Meine Mama hast gesagt ich darf!" ... it's as natural as breathing to a bilingual child!

I know you've had lots of answers but thought I'd add my bit too!

We're a billingual English/Danish family and live in Denmark.

I don't really like the word for mummy in danish (Mor) so always have preferred to be called mummy. DH and everyone else here calls me Mor to the children.

They are now 5 and (nearly) 2 and have no problems calling me mummy to my face but mor when speaking to a danish speaker, it's natural for them and we've never had any confusion.

I agree with you about the emotional thing, mor doesn't feel nice to me, whereas I love being called Mummy. Another positive thing, is when out and about you're always sure when it's your children calling you!

Go with your gut, your baby will learn whatever you want to be called

My dd calls me mummy, mamma, mumaana, moomie, mother bear, and a host of other cartoon character mums.

Wow, dh and I never discussed what our children will call us! You're very organised!

That's a great point that I will know if it's my child calling me in a playground!

I know it's a silly thing to worry about, I have been worrying about such daft things like where do I buy Clarks shoes in Sweden?

Thanks again for all the lovely stories!

Your DC will be bilingual, and there is no reason why he/she couldn't call you mamma when speaking swedish and mummy when speaking english!

If your children live in Sweden with no intention to live anywhere else and go to a Swedish school, they will feel Swedish. Calling you Mummy will have nothing to do with that. Very soon they will understand that other children call their mummy Mamma, but there's no need at all to be afraid that they won't belong by using Mummy. If they feel the need to fit in they will call you Mamma in public.

I'm Dutch and my children call me Mama. When I looked after my English friend's DD for a few days a week, she called me Mama as well. Because my DS called me Mama and I referred to myself as Mama, she did as well. It's no big deal, it's a name. You choose it.

Friend's DD now calls me by my proper name, btw!

If your children live in Sweden with no intention to live anywhere else and go to a Swedish school, they will feel Swedish. Calling you Mummy will have nothing to do with that. Very soon they will understand that other children call their mummy Mamma, but there's no need at all to be afraid that they won't belong by using Mummy. If they feel the need to fit in they will call you Mamma in public.

I'm Dutch and my children call me Mama. When I looked after my English friend's toddler DD for a few days a week, she called me Mama as well. Because my DS called me Mama and I referred to myself as Mama, she did as well. It's no big deal, it's a name. You choose it.

Friend's DD now calls me by my proper name, btw!

I'm in England and DD calls me momma, I feel your pain
It's your choice what you wish to be called, nothing selfish at all.
And if it makes you feel any better, I still call DM mummy and I'm 24

Language isn't a case of dictating what you want your child to call you. I know of people who live in the UK, yet call their grandparents Oupa and Ouma - clearly Dutch, but not English.

People living in the UK won't call their parents "mummy" and "daddy" just because it's what the locals do.

When kids grow up, they refer to their parents as "my mother" and "my father" - not "mummy" or "daddy".

"Mummy" becomes the term of endearment that you give your child to call you. To me, it needs to be what you are comfortable with and what makes you happy. It's what you ask your child to call you that confirms the relationship.

We are Brits living in Germany. DS, 21mo, calls me mummy, mama and mum, and also uses my first name to call me too!

OP, it will be lovely whatever your child calls you. Enjoy!

My DH is Dutch and I always assumed he will be "Daddy"

You've inspired me to double check :)

YANBU but as others said, your DS may still end up calling you whatever his peers call their mums. Despite exclusively using mummy at home, I am maman to DS (whereas daddy is daddy, of course, never papa ).

Haven't read all the posts.

I find it odd that you would consider getting your DD to call you something you are not sure about on the basis that you think it will make her feel more local. It really seems a bit daft (sorry)

You are over thinking this. Your DD will grow up being Swedish and English and calling you Mummy or Mamma won't make a tiny bit of difference. I would be confident that it won't cause any confusion either, especially as the two words are so similar.

Hope everything goes wonderfully with your new baby.

I always referred to myself as Mummy to DD when she was little.

She always called me Mum (easier to say maybe)

She then called me Mummy for a while when she started school.

Now it's Mummy (if she wants something)

Muvva (if she's being cheeky)

Mumski , Mumma or Mum any other time

YANBU bit if its any help I live in England and my children are English and have always called me 'mama'. Occassionally mum or mummy but very rare. Also,my friends with multilingual children are called mummy and the equvialent in the other language. If you think about it, they will presumably speak English and Swedish so will say mamma or mummy as they would any other word in both langauages.

Why not start with Mummy and then move on to Mamma when he or she is old enough to be changing to just Mum.

As he or she grows up they might like to be a bit different anyway.

There's a section on MN for bilingualism, might be better to post there?

FWIW DS can't speak yet, but we are Mummy and Far. He has a Granny and Grandad, and bedstemor and bedstefar. We're in Denmark and refer to the relatives in their own language. Are you going to wave goodbye to Bestemor? Driller du Granny? etc

the grandmother/grandfather names are an entire other issue! My family would like to use the Swedish mormor/morfar, and that is fine by me they can be called whatever they like!

I think we will start with mummy and see what the baby will call me when he is a toddler/child.

I think it's tied up a little in that I feel like the baby is Swedish, I find it odd to think of him as English. I imagine the baby is a tiny little version of my DP with stubble and everything!

I live abroad too -my DC always, always call DH "Daddy". I guess it comes from me referring to him as Daddy (we never discussed this beforehand, it was just natural as I speak English) and the fact that the nursery ladies thought this was cute so used it too. Even my anti-English ILs like it.
On the other hand, I refer to myself as "mummy" and DH refers to me as "maman". The French find "mummy" strange as its too similar to the French for Grandma (mamy.) I couldn't care less and the children always say "mummy" when speaking to me but say "maman" when speaking about me in French

I honestly didn't give any thought to this befiore they were born!

And for the record, despite being perfectly bilingual, 1 of my children was speaking both languages at the same time their peers were starting to speak, 1 chose to speak English only until she started school but learnt French v quickly with no problems and 1 was speaking full sentences in both languages at 14 months! I tend to get a bit twitchy when people say bilingual children are late speakers!

My dcs are born and bred in england, dd has always called me mamma, she's 4 this year. It sounds really cute tbh. However if you want to be called mummy I'd press the subject, surely part of experiencing different languages and cultures is understanding they have a mummy but friends say mamma, Mum, ma, etc.

My mum insisted on being called "mum" but she was, and will always be, "maaaaaaaaaaam" in a NE Scotland bellow.