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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Report close family member to police for drink driving ?

59 replies

Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 07:51

This would be there 3rd offence...already been caught and fined + community service on 2 previous occassions so I'm pretty sure a third offence would mean a custodial sentence. They nearly ran over a pedestrian yesterday but thank God know one was actually hurt. They somehow also managed to get home in one piece but were hysterical and confessed what had happened.

This is not my DH fyi so would not directly impact on my children.

WWYD ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 07:52

...why the hell do I keep saying there instead of their ! Need to get a decent sleep ...

OP posts:
dexter73 · 24/07/2012 07:53

I think you have to phone the police. Things could have been very different yesterday and you would feel awful if your family member hurt or killed someone and you had kept quiet.

Babylon1 · 24/07/2012 07:54

I would (and have previously) report any drink drivers, family or not.

I reported my uncle. Not only is he alcoholic but he's also never passed a driving test Sad

He's a prize cock IMO Angry

kittyandthefontanelles · 24/07/2012 07:55

Yanbu. You must report. This person needs stopping

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 24/07/2012 07:55

If it were my family I'd report them without hesitation. That pedestrian may not be my family but I'd bet my bottom dollar that they have family and loved ones too. No-one deserves to lose their life to a drunk driver so I would happily shop any member of my family who drove under the influence.

Original poster
Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 07:55

This person is an alcoholic too....going on about needing rehab and I'm thinking to myself..."F**k rehab....6 months in jail would maybe sober you up...."or it could possibly kill them. There are a lot of mental health issues involved here....

OP posts:
Foslady · 24/07/2012 07:56

How would you of felt if they had killed that person......or another drunk driver killed one of your close ones......? Think you know what you need to do......and I agree with you. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind

Bossybritches22 · 24/07/2012 07:58

Report them-tough love & all that.

It might just be the catalyst for getting some help & treatment, that might ultimately save his/her life & that of countless others.

Very hard but YANBU

BellaVita · 24/07/2012 07:59

You need to report them.

MrsApplepants · 24/07/2012 08:00

Please report it. You may save someone's life by doing so.

HecateHarshPants · 24/07/2012 08:01

Of course you should report them.

Leanderbaer · 24/07/2012 08:02

You need to report them, but I think you already know this. Imagine if you didn't and something happened. Its a horrible situation to be in.

musicposy · 24/07/2012 08:03

Yes report it. A friend's DH is currently banned for drink driving. At the start he was planning on still driving home from the pub anyway. Friend was so in denial (he isn't hurting anyone, was only one over the limit, people speed all the time etc). As far as I know, he got lifts in the end but I would have reported him without hesitation - and still would if I ever got wind he was drink driving again. Drink driving is too serious not to - someone else's life could be at stake.

Babylon1 · 24/07/2012 08:05

How often are they doing this? Not that doing it once in a blue moon is ok - it's never ok Angry

My uncle was drunk driving daily, I told the police the car make, model, reg number and colour. I gave them his home address. It didn't take them long to catch him.

I think the police actually need to catch them driving in order to be able to prosecute IYSWIM .

nannyl · 24/07/2012 08:06

definitely report them

they could kill YOU, or a member of your family or a friend

or ME / a member of MY family / MY friend

OR many many many other people who equally dont deserve to be killed or injured but such a selfish ignorant twat.....

why should they be allowed to get away with it, when the rest of us drink soft drinks?

Gingerodgers · 24/07/2012 08:07

Are there any other family members who know what's going on that you could talk to? Easy to say report them, but you are obviously feeling ambivalent, or you wouldn't have posted. Let them stay over, take their keys off them, phone them a taxi. There are ways to prevent this happening in the future. Best wishes, hard decisions to be made.

DialsMavis · 24/07/2012 08:07

I know/knew 2 people who have killed someone drink driving, neither were very far over the limit. please, please report them for their own and other peoples sakes Sad

pumpkinsweetie · 24/07/2012 08:10

Yanbu, report them as they are a danger to society , next time a person may be killed for real and they will get a much tougher sentence.
Tough love, it may actually do them good

JumpingThroughHoops · 24/07/2012 08:10

How would you prove it this late? Won't be any alcohol in their system, and it's way past time to test for something that happened yesterday.

Original poster
Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 08:10

The person involved used to live closer to me and they were regularly pissed (an alcoholic as I said) but didn't always have access to a car. They've been prosecuted twice and had a couple of 2yr bans (I think). Back driving now for about 9 months. I found out yesterday that they drove their partner's teenage kids to work whilst drunk (why they got into the car I don't know) and then this happened later with a pedestrian. I don't know how often they've been drinking recently but would bet that this is not a one off...Their partner is in denial and thinks they can help them with the alcoholism...

OP posts:
Itsjustafleshwound · 24/07/2012 08:12

I agree with Babylon - just report to the police

I would also tell him/her what you have done - it is fair warning....

Doing the right thing is hard ....

Original poster
Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 08:13

JumpingThroughHoops - Not sure about proving it ...If I called the police would they approach the person and say an incident had been reported and give a warning ? No idea....I wish their partner had the balls to phone as soon as they realised what had happened. Drink would still have been in their system then and it could have been proved. I found out late last night some hours after it had happened.

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OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 24/07/2012 08:14

You should report them. The person who s/he nearly ran into might have already done it which woud back you up.

I don't mean to sound callous, but it really doesn't matter if there are alcoholism and mental health issues present. Drink driving is against the law because it risks people's lives.

Our children who walk to their friends or to school, or who ride their bikes to the park, or our husbands and wives, brothers, sisters, friends all have their lives put at risk from drink drivers. There is no excuse.

QuickLookBusy · 24/07/2012 08:14

It's simple, they are breaking the law, you need to report them.

They need help and it seems only a matter of time before they hurt someone.

You'll never forgive yourself if something awful happens and you did nothing to prevent it.

Original poster
Fourfingerkitkat · 24/07/2012 08:22

Thanks Freddos, you don't sound callous btw, just honest. I only mentioned the mental health issues to try and give bit more of a picture. This individual is well and truly fucked up for want of a better expression and has been for a number of years. I washed my hands of them about 2yrs ago after trying countless times to help with the alcohol and having it thrown back in my face so for my own mental health I walked away.

But whether they're a raging alcoholic or a first time offender the outcome could still have been the same and someone killed I suppose. So their mental state is irrelevant really isn't it.

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