WWYD - Report close family member to police for drink driving ?

[Fourfingerkitkat]

This would be there 3rd offence...already been caught and fined + community service on 2 previous occassions so I'm pretty sure a third offence would mean a custodial sentence. They nearly ran over a pedestrian yesterday but thank God know one was actually hurt. They somehow also managed to get home in one piece but were hysterical and confessed what had happened.

This is not my DH fyi so would not directly impact on my children.

WWYD ?

Do you have an idea of the model and registration of the car? If so you could give those details to the police. You're right, their mental state is irrelevant and it is unlikely to be helped if the worst does happen and they do kill or seriously injure someone but it doesn't make things any easier for you.

It's my brother....

I don't know the make of the car so don't know how I would go about reporting it...I could only give his name.

I totally agree that no one should get away with drink driving, but am not sure quite what the chorus of "report him" thinks is going to happen as a result. He would have to be caught while driving while drunk. If it were as simple as anyone being able to call the police and tell them X was drink driving for X to be prosecuted, there would be hundreds of malicious untruthful calls wasting police time. And unless X is already well known to the police, they're not going to go and stake him out in hopes of catching him, are they? They're under-resourced as it is!

So while I think it would be great if this person could be caught, the tough love really needs to start at home. Hide car keys. Talk loudly in company about how X almost knocked over and killed a pedestrian the other day whole drink driving. Shame him, basically.

Yabu to even hesitate

OH's little brother was killed by a drunk driver age 9

Police would take reports about someone who has already been prosecuted twice for that offence seriously. They won't be able to do anything about this specific instance but it doesn't mean reporting is pointless

If the same person was sitting on the roof of a building with a rifle and a pile of amunition dhooting, but not at anyone or anything, would you not report it because he hadn't killed anyone yet?

If he is the registered keeper of the car then the police will be able to find all the details of the vehicle from the DVLA computer just from his name and address.

I would report that you have heard that he was drink driving yesterday and hopefully the police would flag the car as one to watch out for. Hopefully, that would mean that if his driving was below par the police would stop him rather than give him the benefit of the doubt. (this is pure speculation on my part).

sorry bit overenthusiastic with "hopefully"

If I am honest drink driving is a black or white offence in my book. I would without doubt report them.

Yes report them. I've done it (my brother). He kept on driving during a DD ban and I reported him.

You can report people anonymously.

My kids step mum reported me and I was stopped on the school run in full view of all the other parents.

My reading was zero :)

I would report them. Stop him now, because the next time this happens - and there WILL be a next time - the pedestrian may not be so lucky. Could you live with that, knowing you could have prevented it?

I would report in a heart-beat. No question.

If he has a record the police will watch him and pick him up next time and every time they see him until they catch him.

Don't ever second guess your gut feeling on this OP. You are absolutely in the right, don't ever let anyone make you doubt it with any of there "but he's family" crap.

No one makes a conscious decision to be an alcoholic but they do make a decision to drive. Buck stops with them not you.

You sound like a very strong, compassionate woman. You don't deserve to have been put in this situation.

I know you must be reluctant to report a family member. Nevertheless if he runs over and injures or even kills somebody you will wish you had. So I agree that you must report him and the police will watch him. And if he doesn't drink and drive again then I don't think he can be prosecuted.

I would certainly report them. It sounds like only a matter of time before he kills some one.

Thanks for all the posts.

Altinkum, I appreciate your response but don't agree that I underestimate alcoholism or the grip that alcohol has on an addict. After a time away from home he moved back in with my parents and turned all of our lives into a living hell for almost 10 yrs. He stole, shoplifted, pawned items that were not his all for drink. He attacked me on one occassion when I confronted him about the way he was speaking to my Mum when drunk. I only wish I was his brother instead of his sister so I could have beat the shit out of him at that point. My Mum was left to clean up his piss, shit and vomit on more occassions than I can remember when he lost control of his bodily functions when drunk. We have taken him to AA meetings, attended Al Anon ourselves, took him to doctors and addiction counsellors. He has been on different medication but never takes it long enough to have effect. Other family members that work within the NHS have called in favours to have him seen by counsellors or anyone else they think could help. I know that every person is different and every addict is different but alcholics who have not had a fraction of the support he's had and been on the bones of their arse have managed to pull themselves out of this "illness".

My comment about prison may have sounded flippant but we're all at the end of our tether. I'm sat here looking at my 2yr old daughter who has never been in the car with her uncle or even been allowed to go for a walk with him because I don't trust him not to drink. So if I chose not to report him then I suppose I'm suggesting that she is more important than someone else's child that he could hurt. I'll call Crimestoppers.

Good for you OP

Don't give a crap if they're "Mumsnetty" or not, you bloody well deserve a ((((((((((hug)))))))))

Thanks dog x. Spoke to crimestoppers then the police. Unfortunately their hands are tied unless he is caught in the act. They don't have the resources to watch him incase he does it again. I only hope he is lying in bed with a hangover ans not gone out again today.

He needs to live with the consequences of his actions so yes I would report him.

You could report to SS if he has been driving children drunk. They don't have to wait for him to be caught in the act.

I worked in rehab and can tell you that the addicts with support, love and family are not necessarily first in line. The ones "on the bones of their arse" which I will be stealing BTW turn up to rehab first because they have hit their rock bottom.

Well done called the Police and Crimestoppers. You tried.

yes. hard to do. hard to live with if they know its you. but morally right to do it, and for the drinker's own protection, as s/he clearly doesn't want to cause harm or s/he wouldn't have been so shaken up.

fourfingeredkitkat I am not surprised that they can't do anything but at least you have let them know. I hope you feel a bit better.

'This would be their 3rd offence'

Report. They've been caught twice - which means they've probably done it dozens of times - and had two lots of community service and they're still risking people's lives.

Just seen you have. Do you know his patterns? Does he go out eg every Friday night?