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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why on earth would anyone want IL'S in the delivery room??

62 replies

lastnerve · 23/07/2012 11:38

I've only heard cases of this recently , is it a new thing? an American thing?

hearing about the dad,and his parents in the delivery room? Who on earth would want that?

Has anyone had that? AIBU?

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 23/07/2012 11:40

Never heard of it. I didn't even let my own mum stay in the delivery room when it got to the baby being born stage, never mond the in laws!

BedHog · 23/07/2012 11:41

God no! Much as I love them, I wouldn't want them in the delivery room, especially with a video camera at the 'business end' as I saw on an American birth programme once!

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2012 11:42

God some people would have Sky News there and a marching band

It takes all sorts I suppose.

MrsCog · 23/07/2012 11:48

No absolutely not YANBU! I didn't even have then visit me in hospital, the last thing I wanted to do whilst establishing bf and being semi incontinent and over hot etc. etc. was look good/be all happy for the in laws!

AKMD · 23/07/2012 11:51

YANBU, I can't imagine why anyone would want this but it looks like some people do Confused Apparently there is a trend among MC women in some areas of the US to have open labours with friends in the delivery room having a party, champagne etc. and cheering the labouring woman on.

Sparklingbrook · 23/07/2012 11:55

OMG I can think of nothing worse. I didn't want anyone except for DH with me, and no hospital visitors.

twofurryones · 23/07/2012 11:57

Oh my word, not only can I not understand why the person giving birth would want this I can't understand why anyone would want to be in the audience.

AKMD wasit your PILs who turned up in the delivery room about two minutes after you gave birth?

holidaywoe · 23/07/2012 11:57

I had my 2nd baby at home and as my mum was going to be there (incase older child was scared) I invited my MIL as I didnt want her to feel left out. She declined however as she is a bit squeamish. I dont see a problem with IL being there if thats what you want.

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 23/07/2012 12:01

WorraLiberty Mon 23-Jul-12 11:42:22
God some people would have Sky News there and a marching band

or a Channel 4 film crew.

Oh.

AKMD · 23/07/2012 12:01

twofurryones make it an hour and yes that was me. So much fun explaining to SIL that the 'Coke' stain was in fact blood on the wall Hmm

VivaLeBeaver · 23/07/2012 12:03

So in America where there are loads of people drinking champers, etc - what happens when something goes wrong? Shoulder dystocia, massive pph, etc and suddenly there's 20 medics running into the room. Surely all the relatives and neighbours will get in the way?

I think most hospitals here say 2 birthing partners only and this is one of the reasons why.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 23/07/2012 12:03

Watched 16 and pregnant a few times and often there seems to be a whole gang in there other than the medical staff. I'd hate it personally and certainly wouldnt feel able to let myself go IYSWIM and focus on the birth. Especially as a lot of those girls were not only being filmed by MTV but their families too. fuck that

24HourPARDyPerson · 23/07/2012 12:05

Aaargh absolute nightmare

As a general rule I keep my fanjo under wraps in front of the inlaws. Maybe I'm old fashioned like that

24HourPARDyPerson · 23/07/2012 12:06

I wonder is this a First timers fad?

i doubt there's many doing it twice

Yorky · 23/07/2012 12:12

I wouldn't let DH ring his mum and ask her to sit on the stairs in case 1 of the elder DC woke while DC4 was being born!
Each to their own, but not for me thanks!

eatssleepsfeeds · 23/07/2012 12:15

Had my second child at home by accident as birth was so quick. In same room to 'help' were 3 ambulance men, my DH and my MIL. Luckily I get on with her very well...

paradisechick · 23/07/2012 12:17

I don't understand why you'd have anyone other than your partner there.

Annunziata · 23/07/2012 12:18

I had my mum and my MIL at 4 out of 5 births. It's just who makes you relaxed etc. I don't regret it at all.

24HourPARDyPerson · 23/07/2012 12:20

Well that's the other side Annunziata. My MIL is very nice but she wouldn't make me feel relaxed.

Nor would a Channel 4 film crew either, as someone mentioned upthread

pumpkinsweetie · 23/07/2012 12:21

Each to their own, but definetly not for me, considering my ils are awful Grin.
I did have mum with me when i had pfb and it was lovely having her there, she was much more useful than my exp who kept repeating the words "you can do it" over & over, it was like being in a time warpAngry
Thank the lord my dh is different, he was very helpful in all my other births

Shullbit · 23/07/2012 12:32

Meh. My MIL to be was there during the birth of my second. I hadn't planned on her being there. Nor had she. But I am glad she was in the end because between her and DP, they kept me going and calm. Plus, she was ecstatic in the end for being there for the birth of one of her grandchildren.

I thought I would of minded, but at the time, I really couldn't of given a toss who was there I was in so much pain. I just wanted/needed support and she was there thankfully to give it.

So yes, I wouldn't of planned to have her there but glad she was.

MidWeekSlump · 23/07/2012 12:38

No way - wouldn't want my own mother there either. or friends or a film crew or a party of people. My privates are for viewing by invitation only. (unless you are a medical professional)

liketochat1 · 23/07/2012 12:47

No way! Nobody other than dh for me. I don't think I would cope!

AKMD · 23/07/2012 12:47

Birth story written by an American mum. She had the full party for her DD2, who was born with undiagnosed Downs Syndrome. Don't read unless you have tissues ready. Her friends were a huge support to her at the time so I suppose it could be a positive thing.

trikken · 23/07/2012 12:49

I had mil and mum there add well as Dh. She came to see me as I had a long labour but things then moved rather rapidly after that so she stayed for thd birth,which we were both more than happy with.

I get on well with mil and it was funny as the Christmas before she had jokingly said that her Christmas wish was to be at the birth of her next grandchild. This was 11 months before dd was born.