AIBU to not want DH to spoon/fork-feed 3.5yo?

[MegBusset]

If we are out having a family meal and 3.5yo DS2 has stopped eating with some food left on his plate, DH sometimes grabs his fork and attempts to feed him some more, aeroplane-style. This drives me nuts as a) he is 3.5 fgs and b) he will then demand to be fed at home. (I am sahm so deal with 95% of mealtimes).

AIBU to not want him to?

God, I can't bear it when partners join in threads, happened yesterday on one I was on.

i think he was joking iggly :)

bonding doesnt equal recreating babyhood and he hasnt said that? unless i am missreading but it is ok to reminise about the lovely baby bits and he is right that sometimes we are too stressed to enjoy them when they are little.

its not like he is insisting on spoon feeding him at every meal.

I treated my 11 yr old ds like a baby last night, he came and sat on my lap nearly squashed me and he let me stroke his hair while he was all cosy and snuggly. Doesn't happen often these days, usually I have to chase him for a cuddle!

Yes 5madthings I guessed he was joking, hence my

"If he accepts the food-then maybe he doesn´t know!"

If he stops eating, then he does know until that knowledge is overridden by his gobshite father doing aeroplanes to stuff more food into his gob.

Message: keep shovelling it in after you feel like you've had enough!

Agree wholeheartedly with AThing. If he's a good eater and has stopped eating, leave him be.

Giving a cuddle isn't treating the cuddlee like a baby.

Treating an 11 year old like a baby is putting on their tights for them.

I think if the father offers but doesn´t force then it´s not an issue.

Well force feeding would be abusive, whereas spoon feeding a competent 3 year old is just infantalising and stupid.

Ds would object if I put tights on him

Okay, really going to the pub right after this message but, Iggly interesting point. Nappies, no? But I still sometimes carry DH1/2 up the stairs like 'babies' and we ALL have a giggle about it (Meg included). I sometimes carry DH2 on my shoulders still, even thoug he's FAR too chunky for it and it kills my back - but he likes it, and Meg doesn't complain. It's all just fun - the joy of having a couple of lovely little boys and being able to tit about with them a bit.

He absolutely doesn't need to be spon/fork-fed but I do it (sometimes) because we (me and him) both enjoy it. But then he doesn't ask mummy to carry him on her shoulders because he knows she won't. I think the same is true of spoon/fork-feeding.

Right, pub. And 5mad - you can keep Merryn. 3yo babies are WAY easy, IMHO.

I'm not planning to return to this thread/Mumsnet now but if I do, you'll probably all be my best matesh, you will. Hick.

Archibald, and x to Meg.

are you sure you dont want Merryn for just one night?!

enjoy your trip to the pub, you can have a drink for me as i am stuck at home as dp is working crazy hours this wkend.

on the great scale of life why does it actually matter.

op is your child very fat or anywhere near it?
is your child troubled by these actions in any way?

if the answers to both these questions is no then his dad is not being a gobshite hes just doing things a different way than you would

It seems an absolute mountain out of a molehill to me too-especially (unless I has misread), it only happens when out & not at every meal.

It matters because one of the child's parents thinks it matters.

I would not be happy if a child of mine was being spoonfed in public at 3.5.

I wouldn't consider it "different", I would consider it wrong and unpleasant, humiliating and giving very bad messages about what it means to have finished eating.

And I would make that case very strongly to DH if he was insisting on doing it.

The utter crap Dads are allowed to get away with in the basis that they are supposedly "equal" parents is depressing.

When you're really both equal, neither of you have to pander to obviously shite parenting like this.

One person saying "um, it's not really necessary to spoon feed Denis. He's well able to feed himself" would have been the end of it.

If it´s a game between father & son I don´t get the problem.

Just because OP is bothered-does that mean her husband has to stop?

Well you know I don't lie awake at night worrying about it. It's just one if the few parts of parenting which we disagree on to the extent where I will point out to lovely DH that it's unhelpful and unnecessary. Surely the kind of trivial disagreement for which AIBU was invented

Humiliating? For a child to be fed by its parent? Interesting thought.

I would have thought that, had you bothered to read all the replies on the thread, you'd notice that a large number of posters see it as neither 'humiliating' nor 'shite parenting'.

Are you saying I'm a gobshite mother and a crap parent because I sometimes feed DD? Just as well I'm not married to you really as I don't plan on changing my parenting style...

I'm not quite sure why you seem to be so furious about the way a father, who you don't personally know, parents? I agree - it's something that they should talk about together and if his wife feels strongly about it, then possibly he should stop - but they need to discuss it together, and not have him completely lambasted by a stranger on an Internet forum... I would be really offended to be called a gobshite and a crap parent by someone who doesn't know me.

it is indeed what aibu was invented for!

and i agree some posts have been harsh but then aibu tends to bring that out in people.

there is nothing in any posts to form the opinion that he is a gobshite or a crap parent at all but hey this is aibu so its ok to make crass judging statements about people

"Get away with", AThingInYourLife?! So that'll be 'equal parenting' so long as it's on your terms then? (Walking to the pub but honestly, had to stop to reply to that deluded nonsense - and I know my wife will agree!)

Archibald.

Lol welcome to MN Archibald, your first ever AIBU flaming, now you're one of us