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AIBU?

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Original poster

....to want to ban page 3???

736 replies

DianaVreeland · 20/07/2012 16:07

I remember seeing a page 3 girl for the first time when I was about 6 as my neighbour bought the Sun. I cringed inwardly, and haven't stopped feeling the same since. I have 5 nieces 3 nephews and my own 2 sons.....I hope they could grow up without seeing images of women objectified like this. Clearly I am not showing this to them but at some point I know they will. Does anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
FreudiansGoldSlipper · 09/09/2012 13:10

i agree it was a very emotive post you should be able to see that, she gave an explanation as to why she felt the way she did

GhostShip · 09/09/2012 13:15

I will damn well knock her for that post. I've already expressed my thoughts going out to her in another topic. But she read what I posted in this topic earlier. She read that whilst my mum was nearly dying from a brain tumour the money I earned helped me to look after her. Then she comes out with that post aimed at me knowing full well it would hurt. Just because she's hurting doesn't mean she can come out with disgusting things to hurt others.

My mum did try to kill herself before and during her illness. But not because of me.

dysfunctionalme · 09/09/2012 13:17

I reported your post ghostship because it was a personal attack against another poster.

expat did not make a personal attack, she described how she would feel if her daughter decided to be a topless model.

missymoomoomee · 09/09/2012 13:19

I'm sorry that expat has lost her child, I know all too well what that feels like, it doesn't give me the right to say personal, hurtful things to people. That post was disgusting there is no excuse for it and I can't believe anyone would defend it.

GhostShip · 09/09/2012 13:20

Yes it was a personal attack. She was referring back to how I said I supported my mum with my earnings.

dysfunctionalme · 09/09/2012 13:33

I can see you took it as a personal attack but if she did not phrase it as one. That's the key to keeping within talk guidelines. But you should report if you feel it is wrong. I'm just seeing it in my pov, could be quite different for someone else.

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 13:38

So they key to talk guidelines is to be sneaky in the way you do personal attacks Hmm

I took it as once because it was one. If you don't see that, well I don't know how you can fail to.

I am not weak, and I don't usually let comments get to me but that hurt. It hurt to see someone use something like that as ammo.

Anyway if that's the lengths people will go to in what is supposed to be a debate, then there's no hope.

Thanks everyone who has show support. X

missymoomoomee · 09/09/2012 13:39

Regardless of if you thought it was a personal attack or not, do you think its acceptable to say to someone 'if my daughter made your life choices I would go and stick a hosepipe to my car and kill myself because I would have failed as a parent'? I certainly don't.

pigletmania · 09/09/2012 14:59

Yes expats post was out of order despite what she is going through. I don't think that there should be glamour models ina national newspaper, read by males and females. However there is a market for it in agazines such as Nuts, FHM, playboy etc. it's up to the woman what tey do with their body, they are adults perfectly able to make decisions about what they do just becase you disagree ith it does not make it wrong

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 09/09/2012 15:17

I can see how expat's post would be very painful for someone to read if they have had a suicidal loved one.

To me though, the post reads like the sort of thing someone might write if they are really not OK. She feels she has failed her daughter. She is talking about suicide in a very matter-of-fact way. I think that's quite concerning and I hope she has a lot of support around her.

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 15:21

Me: I made a lot of money and I managed to keep a roof over my mums head when she had a brain tumour. Id do it again. I'd do it now if I still had the body!

Expat: I'd feel I completely failed as a parent, if my daughter thought she had to get her tits out or sell herself for money for me. I'd rather be dead, and I mean that in a serious sense. I'd think, 'Shit! I failed twice! My own daughter is dead and my other is a prossie for my sake. Time to check out,' and hire a car, drive out to nowhere and attach the hose where it needed to go. I wouldn't find anything to be proud of in that. I'd find it a failure of my parenting worth my own death.

I too hope she has support around her. She needs it.

thebeesnees79 · 09/09/2012 15:33

I don't think anyone can judge expat till they have been in her situation or walked a mile in her shoes. That poor woman has been through something no parent should ever have to go through and I can't imagine how anyone would get over the loss of a child especially to cancer. My uncle died of cancer and I can hand on heart say it is a horrendous thing to have to watch. my heart goes out to her.

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 15:34

But she can judge me when she hasn't walked in mine?

LadyBeagleEyes · 09/09/2012 15:43

It's so recent for her though GoldShip, that post from her sounds like she is finding things particularly hard at the moment Sad
FWIW, I agree with a lot of what you say.
You're a grown woman and made choices that were right for you.
I was a topless waitress in a bar in Amsterdam many moons ago, I'm not ashamed of it,though if I had my time again I wouldn't do it.

thebeesnees79 · 09/09/2012 15:46

she has lost a child yabu to not understand how that could totally fuck a person up.

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 15:51

I do understand.

YABU if you think that's an excuse to cause someone else pain in the way she did.

Im not discussing it anymore. Nothing can condone that post for me. Nothing. I'm bloody glad my mum didn't manage to kill herself and that now her brain tumour has gone. Almost ironically she got cervical cancer straight after and recently had a hysterectomy. Something that some lovely posters on here helped me deal with.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this because it doesn't really matter does it. It's just upset me.

Bye :) x

emcwill74 · 09/09/2012 15:55

Glitter: I object (now) to the hello boys ad for many of the same reasons I object to page 3. It was a long time ago now and maybe I didn't object to it then, but I do now. It is just another in a long list of examples of women being objectified and sexualised to sell product. However, I don't object to it as much as I do page 3, which is a daily reminder of our unequal status and of course it stops us being equal. Yes women have a right to do glamour modelling and I keep saying they can do it elsewhere and not in a daily newspaper with a massive readership which goes into family homes, normalising viewing women as a piece of meat, whose most important assets are physical.

I'm so so sick of the 'don't like it, don't buy it' argument which comes up again and again and again yet is no argument at all! What if the Sun had a similar 'Black of the Day': 'Look at Denzil! Doesn't he have gorgeous velvety skin? We bet he's great at dancing and sprinting!' Or how about 'Gay of the Day': 'Look at limp-wristed Larry! Backs to the wall boys! Remember not to bend over for the soap in the showers!' Would you say that if I didn't like casual racism and homophobia with my cuppa then just don't buy it? But to encourage laughing at/stereotyping others simply on grounds of their ethnicity/sexuality by letting Britain's biggest-seling newspaper doing just this is completely OK? If any other section of society were treated like this there would be an absolute outcry! And no one would say 'oh stop being being so pathetic and just don't buy it!' But many women are so used to being depicted in this appallingly sexist way they don't even notice it or expect anything better.

Yes the girls are not forced to it and do it of their own free will, that does make it OK.

emcwill74 · 09/09/2012 15:57

does NOT make it OK whoops!!

thebeesnees79 · 09/09/2012 15:58

she said she would kill herself for failing two daughters. she never said your mum should have. I give up

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 09/09/2012 16:03

glitter - I didn't like that lingerie advert

And Eva Herzigova ended up with an eating disorder

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 16:13

thebeesnees if you don't see how it correlates to what I put then I'm sorry but wtf.

'I'd feel I completely fail as a parent if my daughter thought she had to get her tits out or sell herself for money for me'

Would this have been said had I not mentioned how I kept a roof over my mums head? I don't think so.

pigletmania · 09/09/2012 16:16

I totally agree emc there is a market fr it and it's not in a national newspaper.

LadyBeagleEyes · 09/09/2012 16:18

I understand why you're upset Ghost, but I think what people are trying to say is that expat is coming from a bad place at the moment, so maybe her comments sound harsher than she meant them too.
I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you.

missymoomoomee · 09/09/2012 16:27

thebees you seriously think that losing a child means its fine for you to be nasty and rude to people? It doesn't. My heart goes out to her for what she has been through, it really does, but please don't try and excuse her disgusting post by using her personal circumstances, what about goldships personal circumstances? She has been through a very tough time too and has now been made to feel like shit about it. Please don't defend that statement, it was totally wrong.

thebeesnees79 · 09/09/2012 18:00

she never said ghosts mum should kill herself for what her daughter done did she?!
She said if after having one daughter passing away the other went on to strip/do page three etc she would feel she has failed as a mother. am I missing the part where it was a targeted personal attack as O am failing to see it?