to be upset over the comment on my 'baby weight'?

[gobblegobs]

Dh is extremely supportive of DS ( 3 months old) and I. Has been doting over me pre and post pregnancy. Recently been posted abroad and we have followed.
I have always been petite (size 6), however post birth have been size 12 for the last 3 months. I had an c section. In all honesty have not exercised as busy with the move and baby, as primary sole carer for the baby. I am not concerned as would like to spend a few months nurturing and enjoying the baby, gym will be there in six months time too.

PILs came to visit for the weekend and lovingly(not!) commented on how if I don't tackle my "tummy" it would stay. When I was in the kitchen, overheard FIL mention in the passing I ought to be disciplined as laziness is an easy trap to fall in. Since we have a gym in our building Mil suggested taking the baby in sling on the treadmill!! Fil wondered why i could not take long walks as I am home all day (its 48 degrees) outside.These words were not meant for my ears but I was rightly(?) upset. MY lovely DH stood up for me saying I am the best mom he has known and he is in no rush for my pre pregnancy body to return.

However, a seed has been planted in DH's head as he has since the weekend started commenting on the fact its been whole 3 months and I havent hit the treadmill as I used to prebaby.
Yesterday he was looking at our wedding pics and jokingly remarked pointing at my svelte self "this is the woman I marrired". He then realised the error of his ways and smiled adding " No worries, you will get there"/

Now this perhaps its storm in a tea cup, but AIBU to be upset over it? PILs plan to visit in a month's time again...should I invest in some spandex???

So...the coffee is ready and have bought some cakes. Will have a chat with DH about it. Thanks for giving the confidence to bring it up. Will post in a few hrs to let you know how the conversation went!!
PS I think the gummy little grin on DS's face says he is on my side

Yes DS is on your side . Your PiLs are arseholes. And tbh your husband was being one in those coments you reported from him. Size 12 is fantastic for 3 months after baby. My MiL bought me an XXL floor length nightie around six months after pfb was born - I was back in size 12 by then (my norm). My dsis commented that MiL clearly didn't want any more grandchildren

YANBU. What a horrid thing to hear :( Ignore them.

I was a size 10 before having DD1 and snapped back into shape with DD1 and DD2. DD3, however, I did not and up until I got pregnant again with DC4 5 months ago, I was probably a size 14, despite breastfeeding and doing the same amount of activity/exercise as I did with the first two, if not more. Not long after having DD3, I was going to a ball with DH (his work commitment) and had bought a lovely new outfit etc. and when I put it on, I burst into tears looking at myself in the mirror and was verging on refusing to go. DH was lovely and said he loved my body even more now than ever, since it's given him his 3 beautiful DDs.

Hold your head high. You have a fantastic, healthy attitude which can only help your enjoy your baby :)

Ruby

You have every right to be raging at your in laws for such ridiculous comments, but do not let them upset you. on your behalf. Though if they were making comments before when you were a size 6 it's not surprising that they can't help themselves now. It sounds like they're just bitching, prob secretly hoping you won't get back to a 6 as they were likey jealous .

By the way don't think that EBF won't work in the long run for you. It took me longer than expected, but with no exercise and lots of cake I was back to my pre pregnancy weight within the year. I know that sounds like a bit of a wait, but it does fly through (and if you can be arsed exercising i'm sure it won't take you as long) .

CupsofTea love the strikethrough. That is EXACTLY what I would actually do!

Wow how rude of them! Size 12 is not big. Tbh you might never get back to the size you were not through lack of effort etc but because your body shape ie changed by pregnancy. My hips are now a lot wider than the were pre- preg and no amount of exercise will change your bone structure. You are completely right in your attitude, good luck with DH.

I know this observation is not entirely relevant but I can't help thinking how few comments of this nature would get made if men had to go through pregnancy and birth.

I suspect that they assumed that they were being jokingly helpful by reminding you that you were slimmer pre-baby but it's not what you need to hear, or need to feel that you should have to achieve.

Size 6 is VERY small. Size 12 is smaller than the average British woman. If you were feeling snooty you could just mutter something about pots and kettles but don't do anything until you're ready.

I had a C-Sec with DD and it took me about 6 months to feel like doing any exercise at all. However, now she is 18m, and very active. I am back on my feet, running around after her and am back to a weight/clothing size I last saw when I was in my 20's.

Dear all, conveyed to DH how i felt. He did apologise and we broke open a bottle of wine. All is well in gobble household again(till the next ILs visit!). Can't thank you ladoes for the support enough though

Sorry its meant to be ladies...sorry BF and typing don't go well together

How mean of them, you're only three months post surgery, your body can take up to six months to heal properly from that. The exhaustion you experience with a newborn and lack of sleep prolongs recovery time and affects your metabolism, not to mention making exercise the last thing you want to do. Especially when you would prefer to cuddle and care for your little baby!

So so so rude, and unnecessary. I do think people have a blind spot. My - normally very very lovely - mother commented on my weight 2 months after I lost twins at 6 months. I was gobsmacked, and snapped back that I was six months pregnant only weeks ago! I think she had 'forgotten'. People are strange.

Ignore them please. It's not a priority right now. Thoughtless of them, although they might think they are being helpful.

I think if it were me i would plan to respond next time with . . .

"is this your body? No? Then what the fuck makes you think you have any right to comment on it!"

It is very early days for you especially after a C-section. I breastfed my second and didn't lose weight until she was about 6 months old when suddenly (despite that huge appetite you have when feeding) I found I'd lost quite alot.

Also don't forget that your body is adjusting alot still and that saying of "9 months on, 9 months off".

I'm sure it will all happen quite naturally so please give yourself time and ignore these insensitive comments.

Oh my god. I would change the locks on all of them. That was not okay. I would actually leave the bastard for at least a week and review if he was colluding with that talk.

Your DH is a knob. Fact.