to be upset over the comment on my 'baby weight'?

[gobblegobs]

Dh is extremely supportive of DS ( 3 months old) and I. Has been doting over me pre and post pregnancy. Recently been posted abroad and we have followed.
I have always been petite (size 6), however post birth have been size 12 for the last 3 months. I had an c section. In all honesty have not exercised as busy with the move and baby, as primary sole carer for the baby. I am not concerned as would like to spend a few months nurturing and enjoying the baby, gym will be there in six months time too.

PILs came to visit for the weekend and lovingly(not!) commented on how if I don't tackle my "tummy" it would stay. When I was in the kitchen, overheard FIL mention in the passing I ought to be disciplined as laziness is an easy trap to fall in. Since we have a gym in our building Mil suggested taking the baby in sling on the treadmill!! Fil wondered why i could not take long walks as I am home all day (its 48 degrees) outside.These words were not meant for my ears but I was rightly(?) upset. MY lovely DH stood up for me saying I am the best mom he has known and he is in no rush for my pre pregnancy body to return.

However, a seed has been planted in DH's head as he has since the weekend started commenting on the fact its been whole 3 months and I havent hit the treadmill as I used to prebaby.
Yesterday he was looking at our wedding pics and jokingly remarked pointing at my svelte self "this is the woman I marrired". He then realised the error of his ways and smiled adding " No worries, you will get there"/

Now this perhaps its storm in a tea cup, but AIBU to be upset over it? PILs plan to visit in a month's time again...should I invest in some spandex???

Oh to frees earlier comment I though you had predicted the future. I'm on app so arrow points the other way

Grr! This really annoys me, why on earth do they think they have the right to pass comment? Yanbu to be upset or angry!

I got twatty comments two days after the birth from SIL's arsehole of a boyfriend which really annoyed me.

You will lose the weight as and when you are ready to. People seem to forget how much pregnancy and birth take out of you, plus looking after a newborn is hard work!

I feel so cross reading your post, shame on PIL's for saying those things. Carry on doing what you are doing and as you know you will never get these precious months back.
You sound like a wonderful mother.

YANBU!!!

3 months is no time at all, especially after a CS. I gained 3.5 stones during pregnancy despite regular exercise (DS weighed nearly 11lbs at birth). After he arrived I took long walks every day (no choice, large dog!) but still weighed the same at 3m as I had at 6weeks. My weight drifted down gradually, but it took 2years to get back to pre-baby shape and there's a small roll of tummy that is just stretched skin and will probably never be the same again!

In my experience, the people who's baby weight just 'drops off' are those who both manage to breastfeed and are lucky enough to have a baby who sleeps through from early on. The science behind that is that the stress hormone, cortisol, has a daily pattern that is disrupted when your overnight sleep is disturbed and so overall is higher than it should be. This makes you store fat, especially around your tummy, and makes you hungry. This will settle down once your baby is more or less sleeping through.

So, you can tell DH that if he wants you to get your figure back sooner, he will have to take over ALL the night time baby care!

Your PIL are way out of line, it's absolutely no business of theirs what you look like at ANY time, let alone when you've just had a baby! if they make any more comments then they need to be advised that they're not to visit again until they can learn to keep their opinions to themselves!

Thanks for the perspective guys.
Yes, I think I do need to air these concerns and have a chat with DH. He may be blissfully unaware of the effect his light hearted remarks have on me!
I may perhaps be over sensitive, however as you all may identify, I did feel vulnerable and rather aware of my increased girth. The comments happened to hit precisely where it hurt!

Slebs get back in shape so quick because they have 'night nannies!' I didn't realise such a thing existed, but a friend lives opposite a sports sleb and his wife always 'snaps back' after birth, because someone is paid to sleep in the nursery every night for the first 6months and she has live in childcare 24hours a day and can exercise/have healthy meals prepared for her.

Personally I wouldnt have missed the quiet feeds and cuddles in the early hours of the morning for anything!

You say " I can lose this baby weight when I choose to , you will always be rude and thoughtless"

But why is there such pressure for the celeb mummies to be slim so soon after birth?
FWIW I bf and had good sleepers and I still had to work at getting the weight off LOL. Not for vanity reasons but because I hate clothes shopping and didn't want to have to go to the hassle and expense.

OP - you continue doing what you're doing as you're doing really well. Both your PIl's and I'm sorry to say your Dh are being total nobs.When you stop bfing you will probably lose weight relatively quickly but it is no reason to stop bfing- you are doing the best for your baby. You need to tell your dh this and tell him never to mention it again.
Merlotforone- that is really interesting I never got more than 2 hours at a time for the first 6 months and I ballooned despite doing loads of exercise and not overeating. I just presumed my PCOS rubbish metabolism was to blame but your explanation makes a lot of sense.

those comments are hurtful and rude, and no way of saying this "in a jokey way" would make it better.

Bastard bastard bastard.

Is he the type of man who'd put a chain around his wife's waist to ensure she stays the same size? It happens you know.

My DH has NEVER mad e comment or joke like this, it shows he would probably only love you if you look the same as when you married...I would liek to see him go bald or paunchy, and then will you please please say: Look at this photo, THIS is the man I married.

Better still, leave the bastard , but seriously: this is really off

I'm usually ok with my weight etc but must say I found it rather unhelpful that Amanda Holden who had an EMCS at the same time as me was photographed 3 weeks later in heels and a tiny cocktail dress at some awards thingy. I could still barely walk, still looked pregnant and had barely made it out of my dressing gown at that point.

I know it shouldn't have bothered me but it did and made me a bit angry too.

YANBU OP. You are not oversensitive, they are insensitive.
Enjoy your baby!

And just to add another perspective, everyone was congratulating me for losing all the baby weight very soon after DS's birth, but very few people could see it was due to the fact I was very depressed.

Oh, your DH & PIL seriously need to back off! It's only been three months and you're a size 12...? Really don't see a problem with that at all. I think people are rude because it's not pointed out to them often enough. Call him on it if he dares say anything like that again.

What bronze said.

Actually I would be even more upset at your DH comment than your PIL.

Oh good grief YANBU - poor you x

They are being vile - 10 months on - minimum of 10mths off - your baby wont care what size you are but it will value these early days and the time you spend together - I take it your DH looks exactly the same as the day you met him!

Chandon omg a chain around their waist!

RSVP you poor thing.

No way, you've not been on a treadmill for THREE WHOLE MONTHS with a new baby and moving country!!!! What utter nonsense they talk. It was at 3 mo that pnd laid me low with exhaustion and all manner of fears - all the adrenalin of the pre baby move, birth and life change ran out. Now I know exercise is amazing for help with depression but I was struggling to manage my days on a simple level and feel like I was mothering, so fighting something extra in would have phased me. You have done so so well to manage so far and please don't let your dh get away with underestimating what you've done and are doing.

Fitting not fighting, though that works too!

Stupid bastards, tell your dh you heard and make sure he tells them so.

So called saddo celebs get their figures back because they do fuck all with their babies but starve and excersise!!, but hey arnt Jordan and Amanda great parents, affairs plastered all over the press. Twats.

Ignore them xxx

freebirds

It annoys me no-end how insensitive people can be and how much crap is expected of women who have just had babies.

Freebirdsflying, I suspect that if most slebs spoke out and admitted the compromises they have to make and how they'd rather just be in a baby bubble, it would eventually go away, but these are people who have made careers by presenting a perfect image of themselves to the world and now that sleb culture involves us in their home life also, it creates pressure on them to keep up the perfect image even 'off duty'. And the media have short attention spans, so they can't just disappear for a year or two and expect to have a career to com back to.

It is none of your PIL business and I would tell your DH to take a reality check.

I was told by a nurse at the GP surgery that my DH would look elsewhere if I let myself go (I was very thin before pregnancy and fat afterwards)- I literally told her to fuck off and made a complaint to the manager.

My mother told my DH that losing weight was the best thing I ever did and just sniffed when I passed my professional exams after 4 years. I told her to fuck off as well.

Start making personal comments about them and see how they like it. IF you feel you should lose weight, do it slowly in your own time, when you feel able to exercise.

You are so right thebody. Deep down i think we all know what goes on with the slebs (am convinced there is tummy tucking going on at same time as cs too) but it'd just be so refreshing to see a few more 'normal' new mums amongst them!