I am being invaded. I shall go on to the end. I will fight in the conservatory, I

[HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen]

will fight in the kitchen and by the back door. I will fight with growing confidence and with the Miele Air. I WILL defend my home whatever the cost may be. I shall never surrender.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh! Chaaaaaaaaaaarge!

(I am so NBU)

Oh crikey YANBU!!

Batten down the hatches

Yanbu

What twisted bastard thought up flying ants? Thats just not right.

flying fucking ants

I know some insects can perform that alliterative feat but I didn't think ants did it.

Do you know where they're coming from? We had a crack in the path that needed boiling water down it each year.

Can you try and herd them out of the door rather than exterminating them? Just think of all the swallow babies that your hoards of ravening flying ants will feed.

I have red ones coming from the left and black ones from the right. I have filled all my cracks with cinnamon and hoovered to buggery and they are still coming!!

Oh no, is today Flant Day?

Callisto. Pray tell me how the fuck you herd ants?

A very small dog Maybe lay a trail of sugar out the door?

Grimma they've eaten through the cement in the kitchen and conservatory. They do it every year despite us re doing it, but I haven't seen it like this in years

Sorry but I'm snorting with laughter at the thought of Honey herding ants in a tin foil hat

Murderer!

So the rain stops for 5 minutes and we get flying bloody ants. I'll never be able to open my windows again!

SoleSource I can send them to you to care for if you'd like?

"Filling my cracks with cinnamon" enough of your sexual perversions, stick with the ants.

oh, ants. My mum used to despair of the number of ants in our house.

A few years ago, I confessed that I'd tracked down the nest and used to think of them as my pets and feed them jam.

She went very quiet for a moment and I seriously considered legging it

Flying ants give me the heebie jeebies. I wish you well with your crusade.

I'm not sure if filling your erm, cracks with cinnamon is something you should be posting about on a tuesday evening...

Sugar trails probably won't work as they are all juvenile queens off to make their fortune in a hard and unforgiving world. Do you have a fan (the electric variety) that you could encourage them in the right direction with?

Coco I thought I'd slipped that one in and got away with it.

Urgh, I can't stop scratching. Why to they well up with little normal ants and then the flying ones after? Like an ant fountain?

Callisto, by wishing them well on their way I could inadvertently send them to your house. Should I take the risk?

Can you Pied Piper them away with a tiny recorder?

do that Honey and they'll get squished.

Bright side tho, you have a lovely Christmassy crack. Pop a nutmeg in and you're set for a Cool Yule.

I hate them - am waiting for their annual invasion of the patio doors and conservatory - I have cans of RAID ready to use.

It's like being in I'm A Celebrity get me out of Here, is this. I'm stuck in a tank full of insect and you lot are sniggering in the background like Ant (Hah!) and Dec.

I swear I can hear little squeaky any voices under the floor planning the next attack.