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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to love drinking by myself?

84 replies

sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 00:45

Apparently drinking alone is evidence you have a problem and you must be all sad and miserable and stuff. I love the occasional solitary evening of getting wasted - I read crap online, listen to music on youtube, watch awful films and cry at them and generally have a lovely time alone with my wine - getting pissed alone is a little treat! So... do I have a terrible alcohol problem???

OP posts:
lauratheexplorer · 17/07/2012 00:47

Not unless I do too.

ImperialBlether · 17/07/2012 00:48

It depends on how often you do it, I suppose. And whether you arrange things so that you can do it. And how much you drink when you do it. And what you're like the next day.

I'm a bit worried when you say "my wine."

BunnyLebowski · 17/07/2012 00:49

Are you me OP?? Grin

Once in a while DP takes DD back to see his family. I drink a box of wine and howl along to power ballads, stalk my exes on FB and watch ANTM.

Glad I'm not alone Grin

pinkredandpurple · 17/07/2012 00:49

I have a friend (not close) who drinks a glass or more of vino every night alone, before going to sleep, I think it just relaxes her, but I wonder if she's addicted? She's very bright and works/socialises, and drinks socially too but not daily, so it doesn't affect her adversely at her well-mature age. I always thought drinking every day is bad for a woman especially, but maybe it works for some..

BunnyLebowski · 17/07/2012 00:50

That's a bottle of course. Ahem. Just the 2 1!

If OP is drinking it then it is her wine Imperial Grin

Original poster
sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 00:53

I do it occasionally when I am off work for a day or two mid-week so can have a lie-in the next day. I have no children so there are no toddlers making their breakfast whilst mummy sleeps off her hangover in my house (at least I hope not and if there are I'd wonder where they found my house keys!)
Why are you worried that I'm drinking my wine? Would it be better that I drunk someone else's wine?

OP posts:
pinkredandpurple · 17/07/2012 00:55

Op how much do you manage to drink in one evening? are you in a better mood next day?

Original poster
sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 00:55

Bunny- you can't be me, I have never watched ANTM.... may have sung power ballads badly with a suspiciously empty wine box in the kitchen though!

OP posts:
Viperidae · 17/07/2012 00:56

Oops! You have just caught me having a sneaky, solitary G&T! Blush

Original poster
sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 00:59

pink - generally I'm in a pretty good mood when I start drinking and a pretty good mood the next day. I drink more than the recommended daily allowance some days (but due to a 5 yr uni degree I have a well trained liver), maybe half a unit cos i fancy it some days and nothing most days so defintely not a dependecy issue or a drinking cos I'm sad issue or feeling bad about drinking issue

OP posts:
lisaro · 17/07/2012 01:01

I'd say lets have a problem together but that'd defeat the point. I also love a solitary wine and TOPT 2 (recorded) night. No brats no bitch no work no phone. just me, Adam Ant a bottle of asda's finest offer and my PMT. oh, and a bag of pickled onion monster munch. Heaven.

pinkredandpurple · 17/07/2012 01:03

if your mood stays balanced before and after, great. do you think my friend as above has dependency (she's opposite, drinks a glass sometimes two only but every night, plus some social once a week)?

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 17/07/2012 01:04

I love to drink alone. My son goes to his dads twice a week so one of them nights I spend with films, take away, wine or vodka and have avoid sleep in the next day!

Original poster
sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 01:05

I did go to the pub for a pint at 10am on Saturday.... Admittedly I was in the middle of a stretch of night shifts so hd just finished work and was off to bed! That's another slightly gulity pleasure - having a fry up and a pint after a night shift! (happens about once a yr when I've had a busy night so am starving and full of adrenaline so need a full tummy and a calm head to sleep!)

OP posts:
Original poster
sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 01:12

pink - a glass every day is, if it's a normal sized glass, within the recommended daily allowance (which is actually a number picked out of the ether) and, particulaly if it's red wine, is actually pretty good for you - full of antioxidants and stuff apparently. If your friend is having a glass or maybeb two of wine of an evening then that, in my mind, seems pretty normal - if she had a partner and they had a glass of wine together with dinner each night would you think they had a problem then?

OP posts:
waterlego6064 · 17/07/2012 08:08

2 glasses a night probably is quite normal, as in common, but it does equate to more than 40 units a week which is excessive. 1 a night would be safer but it's also good to have a few alcohol-free nights a week, I've heard.

OP- sounds ok, I guess, unless you think it's a problem? Why did you ask if YABU? I used to do what you do but it got a bit out of hand. If you can prevent it escalating, that'd be good.

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 08:37

The RDA isn't a number 'picked out of the ether', is it? Although there is controversy about the idea of it being a 'daily allowance', which virtually no one on the expert side thinks is a good idea (alcohol free days are needed even if you don't drink that much). Much medical advice is a question of drawing a line somewhere based on evidence - this doesn't mean it is perfect, and it tends to change as new evidence becomes available - but that isn't the same as picking a figure out of the ether.

FWIW, I don't think the simple act of drinking alone is awful in itself - I do think it makes a difference how much you drink and what you do when you are drunk, obvs.

IME, when people start rubbising the idea that there is a medical need to limit the amount you drink and that drinking every day is good for you.... then that's generally someone who is drinking a lot and trying to make it okay.

Housewifefromheaven · 17/07/2012 08:53

People who question their alcohol intake are worried about it IMO. Even if it is in a kind of jokey way. If you worry you may be drinking too much then you probably are.

ErnesttheBavarian · 17/07/2012 08:59

Drinking a whole bottle of wine in one go is way too much, whether you're alone or not.

thebody · 17/07/2012 09:01

I love wine to myself, real treat, tele, music, good book and wine, lovely.

But not too often and always have at least 4 consecutive alcohol free days a week so liver has time to rest...

TrinityIsAFuckingRhino · 17/07/2012 09:06

Speaking from someone who has spent a long time drinking too much I agree with housewife.
But it's clear as mud really, maybe you're only asking because someone had a go at you about the fact that you EVER drink alone and you wanted our opinion or maybe you have started thinking its not quite right.

On an aside, I haven't had a drop of alcohol for two weeks and don't miss it

TrinityIsAFuckingRhino · 17/07/2012 09:08

Might not be making any sense sorry
I'm huddled under a small porch half asleep smoking.

And I wasn't trying to preach just telling anyone who might see that knows my back story about drinking

Hope everyone is having a good Wednesday morning Smile

Paiviaso · 17/07/2012 09:11

YANBU, I sometimes have a fantastic time when its just me and bottle of wine and a good film/music whatever.

I'm definitely not an alcoholic :)

KellyElly · 17/07/2012 09:12

I am a single mum so have no option but to drink alone unless I'm out (very rare) or have friends over. One of my friends said she's worried that I have a glass of wine alone but I don't see what the difference is between her having one at dinner with her husband and me on my own. There are so many people that live on their own that do.

ErnesttheBavariandrinking a bottle of wine in one sitting is not way too much for some people. Everyone has a different tolerance to alcohol and a bottle of wine with food over a whole evening (say four hours) isn't a lot (for some people) unless you are doing it every night.

Trazzletoes · 17/07/2012 09:13

Whether or not your friend has a problem really depends on whether she NEEDS a glass to relax in the evening. If she could take a week off no problem then I wouldn't think it's a problem, as such. But I thought advice at the mo is to have alcohol-free days.