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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to love drinking by myself?

84 replies

sallysparrow157 · 17/07/2012 00:45

Apparently drinking alone is evidence you have a problem and you must be all sad and miserable and stuff. I love the occasional solitary evening of getting wasted - I read crap online, listen to music on youtube, watch awful films and cry at them and generally have a lovely time alone with my wine - getting pissed alone is a little treat! So... do I have a terrible alcohol problem???

OP posts:
NoToastWithoutKnickers · 17/07/2012 09:17

It's never occurred to me to get pissed alone. I'm on my own and often have a G&T or glass of wine in the evening, but never more than one.
Tbh I find it quite sad. I'm perfectly capable of watching a film and listening to music without having to be pissed.

Mrsjay · 17/07/2012 09:19

I love it when they all go to bed and i can sit and get pissed merry on my own I post utter rubbish on here or facebook listen to magic on the music channels usually an old school or power ballad night, It is great fun and i can stagger to bed without trying to look sober,

ErnesttheBavarian · 17/07/2012 09:19

if you have more tolerance to alcohol it's because your body has become 'immune' to the effect, through over consumption. One bottle in 1 evening is basically binge drinking and really bad for you and way over recommended consumption. Obviously doing it every night is worse, but not drinking 6 nights then necking a bottle is not good for you and that is exactly what binge drinking is. And if someone doesn't feel that drunk after a whole bottle, I'd think that was even more of a concern.

GobblersKnob · 17/07/2012 09:21

It's Tuesday Trin WinkGrin

I would agree, if you think you might have a problem then you probabably have.

It took my oh a looooong time to realise and now he drinks far less.

Tbh I always think everyone has a problem as I have been teetotal for 8 years.

calypso2008 · 17/07/2012 09:23

YANBU OP

Agree totally with KellyElly I can't go out as am on my own with DD, so I drink on my own, if I drink. What other choice do I have? Would it be better to hire a babysitter and go and sit in a pub as then I wouldn't be 'drinking on my own'? Many of my friends are in the same situation, many of my friends even without children prefer to stay in after a hard day a work and have a glass of wine at home 'on their own' rather than pay 7 pounds for a glass out somewhere.

There is nothing wrong with having a few glasses of wine in the evening after the day is done.

Mrsjay · 17/07/2012 09:24

Is drinking a bottle of wine considered binge drinking then Confused

not that i drink every week but really I wouldn't have thought 4 glasses of wine ( i have a hooge wine glass) was binging

calypso2008 · 17/07/2012 09:26

It is classified as binge drinking, yes, Mrsjay. Therefore, everyone I know, including myself is a binge drinker... Wine

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 09:27

'everyone has a different tolerance to alcohol' - well, not really. A unit is a unit and a liver is a liver, whoever you are.

If you mean some people can drink a lot and not feel pissed - sure, but they are often heavy drinkers who need more alcohol to get them feeling drunk. And a bottle of wine a night is considered to be medically too much.

Obviously, if you are going to drink a bottle of wine in one night, then one which contains under 9 units (some cavas) is a much better choice than one which contains 13 or 14 units (a heavy new world red wine, for example). You can see there's a big difference there. And doing it slowly with food is better for your gut lining and blood sugar levels, and allows your liver more time to process the alcohol (although the units are the same). And doing it once a month is a lot better than doing it every other day.

A perennial problem is that people have NO idea what a unit of alcohol is. A unit of 'a glass of wine' is almost meaningless. It could mean less than 2 units, or as much as 6.

Trazzletoes · 17/07/2012 09:28

Yes. For a woman, binge drinking is more than 6 units = 2 large glasses of wine.

Mrsjay · 17/07/2012 09:29

oh me too Grin calypso

calypso2008 · 17/07/2012 09:33

Wink Mrs Jay!

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 09:35

This article might help - www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17513505

I do think one problem, with all due respect, is that people tend to assume if they are drinking wine then it sort of doesn't count. It's the 'acceptable drink' isn't it. Also Binge Drinking is a term that has a social use - we think of kids falling over unconscious in the street and vomiting, and obvs we don't do that.... but the medical use is about the number of units consumed in one 'go', normally an evening.

A bottle of wine or four large glasses is binge drinking. Just drink less. look at the bottle, most tell you how many units they have in it, and think about the size of your glass. If you don't have a problem, that won't be a problem!

waterlego6064 · 17/07/2012 09:39

From my experience, 'home measures' of a glass of wine are usually 3 units or more. For it to be 2 units, it would need to be a 175ml measure and I have never seen anyone have a glass of wine that small at home. A bottle of white is 9-10 units on average. Far too much for one person in one sitting. Liver disease is affecting more people, and they're getting younger.

I am well aware I sound like a boring, uptight old git but that's because I have been there and had it with addictions and bingeing. I grew sick of it all and sick of myself and I just hate to see other people going in that direction.

I've had 30 units in the past 6 weeks. I used to get through 2 or 3 times that in one week. I am losing weight and feeling good.

Agree that people who ask if they have a problem with alcohol very often do.

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 09:46

Actually that's at the heart of this, isn't it - it's the units, not the drinking alone. If you drink alone but drink under your limits, weekly and daily, and have plenty of alcohol free days, then that's fine.

whosgotmyhairytoe · 17/07/2012 09:47

Personally I would definitely see that as a drink problem. As someone who grew up with an alcoholic I know only too well how having just a glass of wine a night escalates into two glasses, then a bottle, then two. It sometimes takes years and slowly creeps up on you.

I also do think drinking alone is very strange indeed, I think getting drunk in general is strange but can understand when you're with a group of friends and it makes you feel happier and more sociable and a bit silly. Poisening your body to the point that it alters your mind alone to me is a big problem.

Sorry.

Mrsjay · 17/07/2012 09:49

fruitybread I dont drink a bottle of wine every night or even every week a bottle usually does me over the weekend but on occasion I do drink a bottle I wouldn't have considered 4 glasses of wine as binging maybe 4 bottles. and I used wine as an example I obviously dont think binging means getting sloshed on cider or shots and throwing up on the pavement,

Hownoobrooncoo · 17/07/2012 09:53

A bottle of wine is too much and I think most doctors would agree. I'll sometimes drink a bottle of wine or more on occasion but don't fool yourself that that's not a lot of alcohol in one go. The UK does have a problem with drinking, many of us drink too much - it's probably our biggest problem in regards to health and violence and disorder etc.

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 09:53

Mrs jay - fine, it's not me you have to defend yourself to! Just do the maths. If you don't think 4 glasses of wine is binging, but you want to actually know for sure - look at how big your glasses are and how alcoholic your wine is. Or whatever it is you are drinking. Unless your glass is TINY anc you are drinking something low alchohol then medically speaking 4 glasses of wine IS a binge drink.

fruitybread · 17/07/2012 09:55

I'll add - I've drunk a bottle of wine in one night before now. More on a few occasions. But I'm not kidding myself that it's not a binge drink, I know it wasn't good for me, and the fact that other people I know do it doesn't change those facts.

whosgotmyhairytoe · 17/07/2012 09:56

Look at it another way.

I like to do a couple of lines of coke when I'm out with friends (I don't this is just an example).

I like to do a couple of lines of coke alone in my home while I listen to music, dance round my living room, do I have a drug problem?

Alcohol is just the same, it's a mind altering drug that if abused can ruin lives, only alcohol is socially accepted, just because they tell us all the time that it's ok doesn't mean it really is.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/07/2012 09:58

That's the thing about forums and chatrooms, sitting in your living room necking your wine, talking about bumsex on a website whilst alone is no longer considered being 'alone' but it is.

I'm not allowed to drink alone but sometimes do if ive only got a small amount in the house so I never get drunk

It's good that you are asking about it though. If you enjoy a drink why not buy one of those smaller bottles of wine and then you're not overdoing it. If you then find yourself needing more, then you ought to ask yourself why

Mrsjay · 17/07/2012 09:59

on this thread has got serious hasn't it yes people like to drink and TBH I dont think the majority of the posters on here have a drinking problem they just like to have a drink alone in peace, doesnt mean they are crying into their wine glass depressed or sad

Tressy · 17/07/2012 10:00

Yes, I do this regularly. I seldom go out for a drink and most Fridays/Saturday nights will drink a bottle of wine to myself, even if I'm alone, which I usually am.

I don't feel worse for wear the next day.

whosgotmyhairytoe · 17/07/2012 10:00

You don't have to be sad or depressed to have a drink problem.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/07/2012 10:01

you don't need to be crying into a wine glass or be sad to have an alcohol problem Mrsjay.

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