Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners Gone On Holiday

57 replies

RazzleDazzle91 · 16/07/2012 15:53

Hi Ladies, I'm 8 months pregnant and on friday my partner went on holiday without me, didn't even seem to bother him that I might want to go away.!!! He said "ow its the last time before little man comes that ill get to surf" so I replied "what if I'd like to go away before he arrives to have a break" but nope he still went alone with his dad and brother. Its really angered me for the fact he thinks its okay to go on holiday whilst silly little pregnant me sits at home. To make things worse we had a family wedding saturday which he missed to go on holiday, baring in mind he new the date of the wedding at least 2months ago, holiday was booked 3weeks ago.
Sorry its a long post, just needed to see if I'm being unreasonable being angry at him.
Thanks a lot.
D.x

OP posts:
HappySunflower · 16/07/2012 15:54

Where has he gone?
He sounds very selfish indeed!

Gigondas · 16/07/2012 15:56

And what If baby arrives?

Does sound selfish if not agreed . And life doesn't end when kids arrive ... Last surf trip ffsHmm

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2012 15:58

If you went with him would you have enjoyed the holiday?

I think I'd be bored shitless watching someone surfing all week.

HecateHarshPants · 16/07/2012 15:59

Selfish arse. Good luck when the baby comes. Let's hope he doesn't continue with the selfishness.

Is there any way you cango away? Do you have another child to look after? Is there a family member you could visit for a few days?

OneHandFlapping · 16/07/2012 16:02

He doesn't sound very committed to fatherhood tbh.

He should be waiting on you hand and foot at this stage, not going off on a surfing trip.

Original poster
RazzleDazzle91 · 16/07/2012 16:05

He took a 7hour trip to cornwall, and I said what if baby comes, he said ow he won't! And yes I would have been bored watching him surf but he could have made a day to spend with me and even then he surfs a few hours a day!
Just made me really angry, I'd never go away without him!x

OP posts:
Mutt · 16/07/2012 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paiviaso · 16/07/2012 16:09

You might be being a bit unreasonable. If you don't need DP home with you, and he is going to do something you can't enjoy (but he loves), for some last minute bonding with his male relatives then what's the problem?

"Its really angered me for the fact he thinks its okay to go on holiday whilst silly little pregnant me sits at home." Do you have to sit at home? If you had the opportunity to go away right now, would you actually go?

belgo · 16/07/2012 16:10

I know plenty of couples who go away separately, if they have different hobbies etc. skiing/cycling/surfing.

In fact my dh did go away skiing with his family when I was pregnant. We had agreed to it beforehand and it didn't bother me. He is a good husband and father.

Did your dp talk to you about it before he went?

Mutt · 16/07/2012 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 16/07/2012 16:15

I agree Piaviaso.
If the pregnancy is problem free, and in other respects he is a good partner, I would consider it quite selfish not to allow him this holiday with his family.

Original poster
RazzleDazzle91 · 16/07/2012 16:17

Paiviaso - I've had a lot of problems with my pregnancy, and only just bee told last week that my lb is breech and big and will come early! Scary being at home alone when 8months pregnant and first baby! I feel vunerable and would appreciate his support at home with me during these last few weeks.
Tbh with you, I would have loved to have gone away and chilled out before I have my baby.x

OP posts:
Mutt · 16/07/2012 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 16/07/2012 16:19

oh I just knew the OP would drip feedGrin

ENormaSnob · 16/07/2012 16:20

So you are 36+ weeks pregnant and he's fucked off a 7 hour drive away on a jolly that you are not happy about?

Yanbu

Oh, and I think he's selfish re the wedding too but tbh, that's the least of your problems.

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2012 16:21

Why would you never go away without him? Confused

Paiviaso · 16/07/2012 16:22

"I feel vunerable and would appreciate his support at home with me during these last few weeks"

Did you tell him this? I think its pretty reasonable to ask him to stay at home if your pregnancy is a problematic, and you've been told the baby might come early. But if you haven't directly told him "I want you to stay home because I need" then he might not honestly understand what you are going through?

Original poster
RazzleDazzle91 · 16/07/2012 16:22

Mutt - it still hasn't hit him that we are having a baby!x

Belgo - what are you getting at?

OP posts:
Isityouorme · 16/07/2012 16:23

Sorry but he is a selfish tosser. Think i would call him and tell him baby is on the way! And just past the half way mark home I would tell him it was a false alarm!

Looks like you have some serious relationship problems. I would be livid. On the up side, when you are in labour if you feel the need to squeeze his hand, do it bloody hard.... Or grab his hair and yank it!

squeakytoy · 16/07/2012 16:26

Did you go to the wedding? was it your side of the family or his?

geegee888 · 16/07/2012 16:26

Its a bit late in the pregnancy, especially with breech problems, etc, and I do really feel for you.

However, to add some balance to the other comments, surfing is a bit like that - good conditions don't occur all the time. And tbh family wedding could have been dire and years of responsibility - one week of surfing - I'd let him have his fun but expect him to knuckle down thereafter.

If he is a surfer type, I'm wondering what you have in common that drew you to each other? There must be something?!

DontmindifIdo · 16/07/2012 16:28

Well, if you felt like being a cow, you could send him a text saying "getting really strong braxton hicks, not sure if it's actually contractions, will go see the midwife and see if she thinks the baby is coming." then switch off your phone for a few hours...

AllYoursBabooshka · 16/07/2012 16:29

It "hasn't hit him" that you are having a baby and your 8 months pregnant?

What will it take for it to "hit him", A wallop round the head with the placenta?

wfhmumoftwo · 16/07/2012 16:29

Are you having an elective c-section as baby is breech? in which case you should know when baby will arrive?
I kind of agree that i don;t see a particular problem with him going away with his brother and dad for a bit before the baby arrives. My DH went away when i was 8 months pregnant (with a DS who was 16mths at the time). And he is a good dad and good DH! He has his hobbies and i mine and they dont always have to be together.
If you really didn;t want him to go, could you not have told him explicitly? Perhaps saying something along the lines of ' I'm really not happy about you going away at the moment. I'm really nervous that something will happen and you wont be here. I need your support.' Men generally are not great at subtle hints.
Either way, he has gone now, so use the week to enjoy yourself (as much as you can being 8 mths pregnant), relax and out your feet up before the baby arrives

Collaborate · 16/07/2012 16:30

Nothing to stop you going away and doing your own thing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread