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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really scared and pray I'm not overdue again??

60 replies

lastnerve · 16/07/2012 15:37

Expecting dc2, first time round In went 42 weeks + and had to be induced , tablet, waters popped everything. it was horrible making an already painful experience even more so, dc's heartbeat dipped and had to have help with the delivery. machine was too high and had to be turned down.

was crazy like I had no control over my own body. was put in stirrups even though I didn't want this. as I have hyper mobility and my knee caps pop out sometimes I am opting to go on all fours this time.

And as silly as this may sound , I feel like much less of a woman that my body really couldn't be bothered to go into labour and I feel like if it was to happen twice it would be real confirmation that I'm not a proper woman and that something is wrong with me. I'm really scared to not go into labour naturally this time and often jealous of women who do. I must me mad.

AIBU to be scared of this happening again, and has anyone else been in my situation.??

OP posts:
LurkeyLurkerson · 16/07/2012 15:40

I haven't quite been in your situation (luckily I had a very straightforward induction) but I just wanted to say, you don't have to have an induction if you don't want to you know. They can offer to monitor you closely instead and I promise you, no womanhas been pregnant forever. You will go into labour on your own eventually

Mysaucepansdontmatch · 16/07/2012 15:41

Neither of my children have arrived by uninduced labour.

Does that make me less of a woman?

Dd2 was 8 weeks early and we both nearly died from preeclampsia. I was just glad they saved her tbh. What's so great about knowing contractions coming in the middle of the night?

LentillyFart · 16/07/2012 15:41

I don't get this 'not a proper woman' thing. What is that? If you're just feeling sorry for yourself then say so but the drama! of statements like this "real confirmation that I'm not a proper woman" - well - I just do not get it. You're pregnant. If you need intervention so be it. If you don't - well - lucky you. You probably need to talk to someone about all these life-sapping negative thoughts.

Mysaucepansdontmatch · 16/07/2012 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LurkeyLurkerson · 16/07/2012 15:43

And please please don't feel like less of a woman, you know it's not true. We are all equal, the ones that had vaginal delivery, the ones that had CS, the ones that have never had a baby. Flowers for you, for being brave.

LurkeyLurkerson · 16/07/2012 15:44

That was meant to look like this Thanks !

thebody · 16/07/2012 15:46

Each and every pregnancy and labour is different.

Talk to your midwife and explain fears.

Less if a woman is a ridiculous comment, just as daft as people who think if they don't bf then they are bad mothers.

Best of luck with this labour.

Original poster
lastnerve · 16/07/2012 15:48

I'm not trying to offend anyone but its more of a personal 'my body has failed me' type feeling.

OP posts:
LentillyFart · 16/07/2012 15:50

Yeah - well - there are plenty people on MN with life threatening and debilitating long term illnesses. They might be entitled to say their bodies have failed them. You do not - and I think you should probably stop this right now.

Mysaucepansdontmatch · 16/07/2012 15:51

Your body is failing you when your kidneys are packing up and they give you a full Iv solution of magnesium sulphate in fifteen minutes to stop you having an eclampsic seizure. When your tiny baby's heart can stand it no longer.

Clearly I should step away, too raw at the moment.

Original poster
lastnerve · 16/07/2012 15:51

I reported the last comment saucepans totally overly offensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
lastnerve · 16/07/2012 15:52

Yeah - well - there are plenty people on MN with life threatening and debilitating long term illnesses. They might be entitled to say their bodies have failed them. You do not - and I think you should probably stop this right now.

Anyone is entitled to have any opinion about their own body,

OP posts:
TitsalinaBumSquash · 16/07/2012 15:53

Oh dear OP, don't worry I had a nightmare induction with DS1, DS2 however was born at 37 weeks, quick and almost painless labour. :)

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 16/07/2012 15:54

You probably should have put this in pregnancy, maybe ask for it to be moved.

McHappyPants2012 · 16/07/2012 15:54

I have never gone into labour naturally, I am just glad that they where delivered safely.

Op you are no less of a women because you needed a little help to bring on labour.

Tbh 2nd induction was better as I had been able to sort child care out make lunch for myself to take into hospital and felt more relaxed as I knew what was going to happen

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2012 15:56

Meh!

I was induced like that with my first 2 DCs and had my 3rd 'naturally'.

At the end of the day I (thankfully) came out with 3 healthy babies.

The birth is such a tiny, minuscule part of being a Mother...I've never got all the fuss people make about whether it's deemed 'natural' or not.

Either way you're shitting a bowling ball through the eye of a needle so the quicker the better for me.

Original poster
lastnerve · 16/07/2012 16:00

Yes I may ask this to be moved.

OP posts:
lauratheexplorer · 16/07/2012 16:01

You don't have to be induced. Even if it is a high priority medical issue it is still your choice. You can refuse any medical intervention.

Figgygal · 16/07/2012 16:01

I was induced then i had forceps and then limped on Bfing until 8 weeks does it make me less of a woman/mum because i couldnt deliver or feed my baby (by myself) no of course not.

Your body hasn't failed you, not going into labour doesn't define you. Would you say to someone who needed a c section that they were a failure? Its not logical and you need to address it before it causes you distress!!

Moominsarescary · 16/07/2012 16:03

With my first I was 43+ weeks when they finally decided to induce me, I still had 3 days of induction by the time labour started. Unfortunately by this point ds1 had grown so big (11lb 3) there was no way I was going to have an intervention free birth. As it turned out the placenta was well past it's best so we were lucky I wasn't left any longer.

Baygreen · 16/07/2012 16:04

OP is clearly scared of a repeat of a traumatic birth,her comment about feeling 'less of a woman' isn't meant to offend anyone.she is saying she feels her body let her down,and that's absolutely her right to feel like that.
How about a bit of support for a pregnant woman who by all accounts is shitting herself about this happening again rather than telling her to fuck off or that she is overreacting?

KellyElly · 16/07/2012 16:09

I had a similar delivery to you (add full episiotomy and forceps) and my DD was born as 35.5 weeks. I know it's hard but just try to relax and not think about it as you will stress yourself out. Maybe as it's your second you will surprise yourself and have a much easier delivery :)

gymmummy64 · 16/07/2012 16:09

i felt very very similarly when i was expecting DD2. DD1 was induced, I over-reacted to the drugs which had me in agony with no progression. Got given an epidural very quickly, one problem after another, ended up with emergency cs 36 hours later.

With DD2 I was convinced it would be the same - as you say, that my body would not do what it was meant to. Because of the early epidural I had no experience (15 mins worth) of contractions, because of the cs I had no experience of pushing, because of the general anaesthetic I hadn't had that moment of being handed my baby. I didn't really feel I'd 'given birth' at all and was very very scared of it all happening the same again.

All very silly of course - as everyone has said, births are different and health is the key thing. Those feelings were very very real at the time though.

In the event, DD2 came a week early. I was so unconvinced by the contractions and so unwilling to beleive that it really was happening all by itself, that by the time I got to the hospital I was 7cm. DD2 arrived a couple of hours later with just a bit of gas and air.

Felt like an earth mother for weeks after! But as I type this 9 years later I can see how very very unimportant it all was. I do hope it all goes well for you

ontheedgeofwhatever · 16/07/2012 16:11

I was induced at 38 weeks with DD and went through all you describe (no hyper mobility though but still in stirrups). I'm due to be induced again next week and like you I am somewhat nervous about the whole thing after last experience.

HOWEVER I'd far rather go through everything I went through in my last labour many times over than repeat my first "natural" labour which resulted in a late still birth. I'm frightened but have decided to trust the hospital and hope and pray for a healthy baby at the end of it all - that matters to me most of all.

Its alright to admit you're a bit scared OP I hope your baby decides to show up on time and everything goes well.

Lizcat · 16/07/2012 16:15

One of the most common causes to go into to labour is lack of head pressure on your cervix, this the reason I blame DD completely for the awful delivery I had. If she had just got her arse in gear and presented herself at all (correctly would have been a bonus) then things would have been better. She was born stubborn doing things her own sweet way and 8 years later is just the same.

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