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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the neighbours are lazy or paranoid?

73 replies

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 15/07/2012 22:50

We live in a nice cul de sac with friendly neighbours and each house has a lawn in front of it...including us, there are about 8 other homes with small DC..the rest of the houses are retired people...our DC are 7 and 4...the lady over the road has a DD aged 8...then there's the Dad 3 doors down who has his DD aged 7 over 4 nights a week Friday to Tuesday...the others are small...toddlers of around 3 or4 and in various houses.

We are the only family who play out on the lawn with the DC....or let them play whilst one of us sits and watches close by.

Today, a Dad who has recently moved in with his wife & son came out and played footbal withhis toddler and I was so pleased it was pathetic!

It had not really occurred to me that we were the only ones ever out the front...really...until I saw this other Dad doing it.

The question is...why are none of the ther parents playing with their DC outside ever?
I know we have gardens...but one of the points of living in the burbs is to be able to mix a little bit with other families...maybe God forbid te Kids coud even play together!

AIBU to think all the others are lazy or parnoid? DO you play out withyour DC or let them out if you live in a safe area?

OP posts:

Original poster

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 15/07/2012 22:56

Hello?

OP posts:

dontcallmehon · 15/07/2012 23:00

Mine never play out on the front, but we don't live in a cul de sac. Maybe it's just easier to supervise the dc at the back?

tethersend · 15/07/2012 23:02

Maybe they all do it when you're out

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/07/2012 23:03

Mine are only small (2.10 & 9 months) so they play on the back or at the park at the moment-they will be playing on the front when they get older though as I did when I was a kid & absolutely loved it-at the end of the day rollerblades/bikes/scooters are no good unless you can take them on the street

CaliforniaLeaving · 15/07/2012 23:05

When we lived in a cul de sac Ds played in the back yard more room and no cars.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/07/2012 23:06

YABU to think they are specifically lazy or paranoid. You dont know what they do in their back gardens.

I do see your point though. To be honest, I dont go out the front because Im just not that sociable. I cant make small talk and I like to keep myself to myself. DD goes out a lot though.

kinkyfuckery · 15/07/2012 23:07

They maybe don't like you so avoid you?

It's none of your business if people let their children play outside, at soft play, at the gym, the park, or on the road. How does it make them lazy because they might be doing something else with the children instead?

AKE2012 · 15/07/2012 23:07

My DD (8) is usually out playing with her friends so id probably look like a lazy parent.

HeathRobinson · 15/07/2012 23:12

YABU - this is what your back garden's for!

Maybe they're just a little more private than you?

JumpingThroughHoops · 15/07/2012 23:13

Way too young to be playing out

KatherineKavanagh · 15/07/2012 23:40

Why do you think they are either lazy or paranoid? Maybe it's not their 'thing'

Popoozle · 15/07/2012 23:44

Maybe the children aren't quite at the "playing out" age yet? I know that varies but, for example, DS2 is 11 and always playing out front with the other similar aged kids in the street whereas DD is much younger & only plays in our own back garden.

MammaTJ · 15/07/2012 23:50

My kids do not go out in the street because I have horrible abusive neighbours.

getmeoutofthismadhouse · 15/07/2012 23:59

We live in a cul de sac but it's more like a street with 1 end , and it seems like we are the only parents who play out or watch the kids . We have arguments regularly with parents due to my DS who is 7 he seems to find it hard making friends and the other kids bully him a lot but we watch and hear things from the other kids whilst we are out with our kids which the parents would refuse to believe . My kids Dad will play for hours in the street with our kids and other kids but we have never seen any other parents out unless they are out there talking to other neighbours or mowing the lawns .
It's pretty sad really that parents now have less time for their DC due to our busy our lives have become .

scarletforya · 16/07/2012 00:00

They're avoiding you!

KatherineKavanagh · 16/07/2012 00:01

The problem with cul de sacs is people use them to turn round. They drive in and do endless 3/4/5 point turns. Disrupts games of footie that does!

MulberryMoon · 16/07/2012 00:07

It's because it never stops raining. It was a little bit sunny today, but people have been conditioned to think that when the sun comes out that means there is surely heavy rain on the way.

maddening · 16/07/2012 00:19

maybe they all go round to each others houses and play in the back but haven't asked you for some reason?

Sunnydelight · 16/07/2012 01:04

YABU to think them lazy or paranoid, families work in different ways. Maybe they think their kids are too young to play out, maybe they have toys/play equipment in the back garden, two of the families you mention have one child - are they supposed to play by themselves hoping others come along.

The dad who has his daughter half time might be being very careful to make sure she doesn't go back to their mum saying "dad lets me play on the street". The 8yo girl might not want to play with a 4yo boy if your youngest is a boy - the reasons are endless and understandable.

Bubbaluv · 16/07/2012 01:44

Getmeout I actually think it sad when parents feel they need to hove around the kids' play all the time.
Popping out to play with the kids occasionally is nice, but i would have been ostracised by the other kids in my street if playing with me meant playing with one of my parents too.
Kids need time AWAY from their parents - for me that was the absolute BEST thing about growing up in a culdesac. There were always half a dozen or more kids out there riding their bikes, climbing trees etc.

So anyway, YANBU OP. Kids are so cooped up these days.

Bubbaluv · 16/07/2012 01:45

Hover, not hove!

Bubbaluv · 16/07/2012 05:12

Just to clarify - it is of course nice that your DH plays with your child. Sounded a bit mean - sorry!

YankNCock · 16/07/2012 05:48

The problem with our cul-de-sac (and I see it's been mentioned already) is the people constantly turning around. Ours is a 'T' at the end, we are on the corner of one branch of the T, and people from the houses further up the road drive down the street quite fast, turn in front of my house, reverse, and head back up the road to park (presumably so they are pointed out of the cul-de-sac when they leave again).

Add to that any tradesmen, delivery drivers, visitors, etc, for everyone in the road, and you have to be constantly yelling for kids to get out of the road. Shame really, as there are quite a few kids at our end and we do tend to congregate a bit after school run time with kids riding bikes or toddling around. We'd do it more if it was safer!

Flisspaps · 16/07/2012 07:34

Maybe they prefer a bit of privacy so the kids just play in the back garden, y'know, like children who don't live in a cul-de-sac do?

If I lived in a cul-de-sac I'd not sit out the front, I don't do small talk and the back garden would be enclosed so DD could play safely and I'd not need to sit out watching her all afternoon.

Original poster

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 16/07/2012 07:42

To clarify.....y DD is almost 8....the child over the road is never allowed out. Hr Mum is friendly though. We have equipment in the back...we just like being out the front sometimes and think it is good for kids...we don't watch and sit ovre them all th time....I go into the kitchen where I can see them.

It just struck me...that this new Dad is the first in as long as we have been here....to join his child andencourage him to play near my DC.
We're nice people, we keep the house nice...we work...we're polite....

Cars never turrn here...unless it's a neighour leaving.

OP posts:

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