To think the neighbours are lazy or paranoid?

[KissMyEmbroideryHoop]

We live in a nice cul de sac with friendly neighbours and each house has a lawn in front of it...including us, there are about 8 other homes with small DC..the rest of the houses are retired people...our DC are 7 and 4...the lady over the road has a DD aged 8...then there's the Dad 3 doors down who has his DD aged 7 over 4 nights a week Friday to Tuesday...the others are small...toddlers of around 3 or4 and in various houses.

We are the only family who play out on the lawn with the DC....or let them play whilst one of us sits and watches close by.

Today, a Dad who has recently moved in with his wife & son came out and played footbal withhis toddler and I was so pleased it was pathetic!

It had not really occurred to me that we were the only ones ever out the front...really...until I saw this other Dad doing it.

The question is...why are none of the ther parents playing with their DC outside ever?
I know we have gardens...but one of the points of living in the burbs is to be able to mix a little bit with other families...maybe God forbid te Kids coud even play together!

AIBU to think all the others are lazy or parnoid? DO you play out withyour DC or let them out if you live in a safe area?

My kids are down the park with their mates, or at Karate, or down the sports hall playing badminton or table tennis, or practising piano, or if it is nice, we are out with the dog on one of the local hills.... at weekends we ALL spend time with the kids grandparents or other family....... what with all that and school and homework there is no time to play with kids of odd ages outside the front of the house - maybe in the summer holidays, or if a few friends call round...

Britta hits the nail. I think our hildren are missing out. People are too wrapped up in their own little boxes....they don't mix with the community at all.

amber we have play equipment...and if people think mixing in with your community is common then God help them.

I know there are some communities where the DC play at the local park...but we live on the edge of a small city...and there is a main through road not far away as well as a canal. I can't allow my 7 year old to wander off to the park as there are multiple busy roads.

It's suburbia but well populated. I want them to play outside the house...and they're not "gardens" here but open and unfenced lawns. The children in this cul de sac don't know one another! None attend the same schools and they shuld know one another all the same.

I don't want to send them to knock for other children as it's a bit "in your face".

And I must ad....children are missing out on HUGE learning experiences. As someone upthread said, when children are allowed out...they learn to look out for their siblings and smaller DC...they learn how to get on in the community...they learn to cross a road (small ones) and also about their environment.

The child over the road never leaves the house except in a car. She's lived her all her life....and does not know what's round the corner except through a car window. That's not right.

Our two have been out playing around the front/side/back since they were 2-3 yrs old, scooting around. We sit on the front wall and quite often end up with a few more children joining in when the weather is nice that is.

Please don't misquote me OP - I didn't say mixing in the community was common - I suggested that those families that feel the need to hang about their front gardens with their children have unusable back gardens (probably) and would be considered common where I live. Your attitude/assertion about the child who is never taken anywhere apart from in the car is abhorrent. You appear happy to judge those parents but less happy to be judged yourself. Have you ever considered they may find your omnipresence oppressive and so take the child to family/friends do they can relax and let her play in peace?

I think I can understand why your neighbours keep to themselves - it could be that you are giving off vibes that you think they're paranoid. Some people respect other people's privacy and right to privacy - not everyone wants to live their life like a fishwife conducting their business in public..,........there's a lesson in there for you

No Llanbobyl...I was NOT quoting you...but Amber...so please don't assume.

AND God knows how I "give off vibes" whilst playing frisby.

And what is more...don't come on here, insinuating that I am a "fishwife" thank you. You do not know me at all.

And if playing with your children is "common" where you live, you must live in Nouveau Riche-Ville. Where people pretend to be something they are not...just llike you! There's a lesson in there for you.

"The question is...why are none of the ther parents playing with their DC outside ever?"

They probably do play out with them. In the back garden where the neighbour's can't judge their parenting

I've got toddlers. Why the hell would I want them in the front (non enclosed) garden near traffic, when we can have a much better time in the secure garden which is about 5 x the size?

Actually, don't answer that, just have a and a pat on the back for probably the most pointlessly superior OP I have ever seen on MN.

Oh Monkey it's not MEANT to be superior!

The point of them playing in the front would be to meet the other children in the area! It's small...mainly safe...why wouldn't the DC want to play together?

It's GOOD for them to mix....make friends locally. Instead of being cloistered in their sitting rooms and gardens. And no...they're not all at bloody each other houses....sometimes they're looking and waaving at my DDs out of their bloody windows! How sad is that!

As I said in my OP there is a new family with a very small boy and they play out in the front...they are lovely...but he's to small at 3 ish to play with my DDs.

But you are being superior.

Calm the fuck down dear.

Calm the fuck down yourself dear.

I'm fine thank you.

It's not me shrieking and CAPS LOCKING and exclamation marking!! about other people's perfectly reasonable parenting.

No, no...I CAPS LOCKED to another poster who was very rude. And I'm not shrieking.

I'm with Kiss. Playing out is a vital skill, as is a bit of risk and independence. Kids just being ferried about to set activities or boxed up in heir own houses only talking to people chosen by heir parents is sad, especially if it can't be helped. I have no idea why you would actually choose to keep your child apart from the street though. It is like something out of those victorian novels I used to read (in my den under a tree)

Also, monkeys and Lian appear to have gone off on one, just ignore.

Oh dear

Op, just accept it's not the way you personally want it to be...

It's been raining a lot lately...

The answer is, yes, YABU, as you seem to want everone to do things your way.

And what, exactly, do you think they are paranoid about?

I live in a very quiet cul-de-sac and my children very rarely play at the front.

If they are in the back garden, I can get on with things in the house whilst still watching and hearing them. If they are at the front, I can't.

They occassionally go on their bikes but it's more fun for them to pedal to the park and have more space to cycle in. It's a very quiet road but cars do come up and down it so they still need close supervision.

The main time they play in the front is when it has snowed and therefore no cars and fun with neighbouring kids clearing everyone's driveways.

Can't you invite neighbouring kids over to play in your garden?

We had over an acre of back garden when I grew up as did all the other children in our street. It was a very nice area, and yet all the children in our street chose to play together in the street. Of course back gardens were also used, but it was wonderful to go out in the street and now that if you hung about for a little while you were sure to be joined by some of the others.

Children of the age that the OP is describing don't need to be "supervised" constantly and the situation she describes in her street sounds ideal for a little "free-range" fun for the kids.

Obviously this isn't the case for everyone (busy roads, rough neighbourhood, no other children about), but I don't know why some people here are being so aggressive towards the OP for suggesting that it's a shame more parents in her street aren't taking advantage of their situation.

I doubt it's so much about being lazy, though. These days so many parents are so overcome with fear for their children's safety that they won't allow their children the very freedoms that will help them learn to take care of themselves. It IS paranoia, but it's so damn common these days that paranoid people will always find someone willing to tell them it's just sensible.

OP, hang a swing on a tree in the street (there's a street near me where there are about a dozen swings in the trees all along the culdesac and kids come from all the surrounding streets to play together!).
That same street holds an annual street party where everyone contributes party food, music, decorations etc. Maybe you could organise one for your street. I bet if you got the ball rolling you could change the way people feel about where they live.

I don't think the trees are strong enough Bubba....thanks for your support. I can't help thinking that those people who've been agressive are possibly the very people who drive their kids to every single activity and helicopter their whole lives!

The people here are polite and sometimes friendly...but so distant! You could callon them i an emergecy....I know that much...but the lady opposite, though she will chat and has called here for various things such as help once when a tree fell in her garden....she didn't really react when I suggested that she bring her DD to play one day.....I haven't suggested it again.