Giving money to relatives.

[Thistledew]

My dad has 7 grandchildren. One of them has asked if he can loan/give her some money for course fees that she is struggling with.

Dad feels that he should only give her as much money as he would be prepared to give the other 6 grandchildren if they asked (ie- he can spare £x from his savings - each grandchild could be given 1/7th of that amount).

Do you think this is reasonable? Would you give one grandchild more than their share on the basis that she needs the money and the others have not asked for assistance? Or would you give less than you can afford in this instance to be hypothetically fair to the others?

My mum has loaned DB quite a lot of money but got him to sign a loan agreement and has told him if she dies before it is paid back he must knock it off his share of inheritance.

Personally I would have no problem if she gave it to him as he needs it more at the moment, I have more of a problem with DMs insistence that all of us should be treated equally when some of us are close to them and each other when others are selfish knobheads not.