to ask for unmumsnetty hugs and advice?

[PollyGoHome]

It's possible my DF has alzheimers. Has been struggling with his memory for a while and we've all noticed but haven't said anything as we didn't want to upset him (his mum had it). Today he admitted he was worried, broke down in tears, we all cried and he will see the GP next week.

I'm devastated and terrified and heartbroken. He's not of the average age, a few years younger.

Could it be anything else?

Lots of hugs for you - I hope the GP is able to reassure your DF. MIL is often quite forgetful, I think it is quite common in the older generation and doesn't necessarily mean Alzheimers.

It may be nothing, it may be something. Either way, getting the GP involved starts getting you information and help. Hope things go well next week.

See the GP (possibly together?)

You will probably find he's very anxiously interpreting all sorts of signs as Alzheimers when it's just memory loss due to age.

I do appreciate how you feel though. My mum has onset of dementia. She cried when it was discussed. She then rallied and seemed fine... a cold set her back but tbh we live a very normal life just slightly aware that she's not as bright as she used to be.

Just to give an idea of the level of forgetfulness

He has no idea whether he has called his sister today or not like he was meant to.

He will ask the same question a number of times in an evening, then often still forgets the answer.

I think you will know more after a chat with the GP. For comparison, MIL forgets she is making a cup of tea and adds coffee, making her own blend we call 'toffee.'

I'm so sorry. What a terrible worry for you. If I were you I'd make an appointment for yourself before you take your DF. It will be easier to discuss things without him there. I hope he's happy, whether he can remember or not.

My (ex) MIL had Alzheimer's and she changed from a very discontent woman to a very happy woman. She'd forgotten how to hold a grudge. Don't worry too much about things but try to get extra help in place so that it's there when you need it.

No advice so just have some

I hope everything works out.

Polly - on a bad day I'm like that!!

It might be any number of things including Alzheimers - that is obviously a huge cloud hanging over him. Whatever it is facing it and having a plan will help

So sorry. My DF (now 85yrs) was diagnosed last year after we had noticed a decline in his memory and general mental state. He and my DM finally admitted that this had been going on for a couple of years and whilst it was upsetting listening to the consultant giving his prognosis it was good to get it out in the open. I still think DM doesn't tell us half of what goes on but it has brought my sisters and I closer together and we now talk openly about Dad and how he is doing .... and also Mum in her role as carer (she is 80yrs herself). DF saw GP who referred him to specialist team. Brain scan confirmed diagnosis. DF now on medication and his recent assessment still saw him scoring high on his cognitive tests.

It still saddens me when DF sometimes doesn't recognise me and I realise I am now in the 'parent' role' but then again we have lovely talks about his time as a boy and all of his exploits

It doesn't mean that its alzheiners, there are other more simple things that can cause symptoms similar to alzheimers that are completely treatable. However until your father sees the gp there is no point in speculating on anything. I know its hard not to worry, but try not to until you know you actually have something to worry about.

Have a hug and try not to dwell on it for now. And don't start googling whatever you do!