To ask Y1 teacher to address the class about homophobia?

[lechatnoir]

A few weeks ago DS(6) & I were having a chat about weddings & engagements & I explained how DH 'asked' my dad for my hand in marriage. DS then queried what would happen if 2 men or 2 women got married (ie would no dad's or 2 dad's be asked) & I said I didn't know but in any case plenty if people don't do it nowadays & it's just a silly old tradition going back to times when people thought girls belonged to their father/spouse. Then he said that a boy in his class (let's call him X) said boys can't marry boys & girls can't marry girls so I explained that actually legally they could & as long as you love someone it doesn't matter what sex they are. All taken on board without any drama & I thought end of conversation.

Today I collect DS and he's obviously bothered about something & it finally transpires there was an altercation in the playground today between DS & X because of this same issue and X has been telling DS he's stupid & that all gay people will all burn in hell!! WTAF!

So, AIBU to ask the teacher to address this to the class in an age-appropriate manner or should I speak to X's parents (who I assume planted this idea in X's head and therefore share the same view?).
LCN

Trixie you can't change religious belief but you can teach children not to express it. I think this is one of the areas that multiculturalism struggles with, and while I wouldn't want to live with France's approach I think schools need to be less afraid of causing offence if people beliefs actually clash with the UK law.

Nobody's saying six-year-olds need to be fully clued up on gay sex. Just as they don't need to know about straight sex. But they should know that families come in many different combinations and that THAT's OK.

trixie123 Of course a 6 year old isn't going to know about the difference between a marriage and a civil parnership unless the parent explains it.

So you now have 2 kids who are both being told by their parents a diffferent answer to the same question and 6 year olds being what they are will argue that they are right as that is what mummy has told them.

If the op had agreed with her child that same sex partners cant get married but can have a civil parnership which is just like a wedding but not in church then maybe they would not be then another playground arguement.

Cantspel, that doesn't mean the other child wouldn't have come out with the 'burn in hell' line at a different point. It still needs dealing with.

I can't believe that if a child shouted out something equally nasty about mixed race couples the teacher wouldn't deal with the issue in class (and I am in a mixed race couple).

ah but if an African kid was telling the mixed race kids that 'your granny was a white devil' or a Muslim kid was making nasty comments about 'you Christians' (both true) the teacher wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

I would probably tell the teachers so that she could deal with that particular pupil. But to be honest, unless it really was becoming a class-wide issue and needed to be dealt with more widely, I would rather my children weren't getting a talk on homophobia, or even racism at the age of 6.

I feel like, unless they are exposed to intolerance, children of that age are generally tolerant of differences and I would try not to 'introduce' the issue of there being a difference to early - if that makes sense.

As they get older they become more aware of these issues and then I think it is certainly valuable to talk to them about the importance of tolerance.

ah but if an African kid was telling the mixed race kids that 'your granny was a white devil' or a Muslim kid was making nasty comments about 'you Christians' (both true) the teacher wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

In both cases I would expect the school/teacher to deal with it.

You should speak to the teacher. Homophobia should be challenged in schools.

Read this. I have worked in one of the schools mentioned, and challenging homophobia is so important, as is challenging any sort of predjudice. Sitting in a school (london inner city comp) assembley where students, teachers and other members of staff talked about thier experiences of homophobia on a video to the whole school was one of the most brave and empowering things I have witnessed in my life and it had a huge impact on challenging homophobic views.

klaritaf I would challenge that in an instant, as would every teacher I know.

So would I, SCOTCH.

Mother, I see what you mean & I think they should be exposed to diversity as early as possible. If they can just take it for granted that J has a white mummy and a black daddy, and P lives with her mummy and visits her daddy at weekends, and F has two mummies, and K in the storybook they're listening to has two daddies, that has to be the way to go.

Yes I think you should talk to the teacher, they can explain that it is wrong to discriminate.

klaritaf I would challenge that in an instant, as would every teacher I know

I would also expect that to be challenged by any teacher.

Talk to the school. The parents may well have told their child this. The school's job is to make sure that those comments don't go unchallenged. Homophobia, like racism, shouldn't be allowed to go unchallenged in schools.

Tell the teacher at both my DCs schools, a C of E one and an academy, this would be dealt with gently but firmly. (Well less gently at the secondary, where homophobic bullying is one of the top level "crimes".)
I really don't understand the comment about Academies Needing to promote marriage, my DCs school treats it just the same as any state school.

why dont you just explain to your child why the other child is wrong what homophobia is and how its not the other lads fault its because he clearly has parents who are stupid,i dont see the point in being all dramatic about it just teach him the skills to challenge it.

perhaps highlight it as a genral issue to the school in a way that wont get the lad labeled as homophobic or am i wrong about thinking that at 6 hes not,hes just his parents mouthpiece?

Empress- who is DW?

DW = David Walliams.

You absolutely should mention it to the teacher, who will know how to tackle it in an age-appropriate way. Why wouldn't you? There will be children in the class with gay parents, family members, friends, whatever's. Their lives are just as valid as anyone elses FFS.

I really don't understand the comment about Academies Needing to promote marriage, my DCs school treats it just the same as any state school Well they can't.

Because many teachers fought very hard against the appalling idea of clause 28, despite the fear that supporting children involved in these issues would lead to prosecution. David Cameron was still supporting clause 28 in 2003 when it was repealed, and accused campaigners against it of being 'anti-family'. So Michael Gove's idea of a model funding agreement stipulating that the benefits of marriage be taught in Academies is seen as a step backwards.

DW is Dear Wife. We use wife and partner.

I think you should address it with the school they should make it clear that this sort of talk should not be allowed. Because, well, it shouldn't. Beliefs or not. What happens when a gay couple enrolls their child at the school? Whispers of burning in hell in the playground? shudder

"So Michael Gove's idea of a model funding agreement stipulating that the benefits of marriage be taught in Academies is seen as a step backwards."

balia - can this really be so?

The so-called freedom of academies is limited by a state mandated requirement to teach ideological nonsense about the "benefits of marriage"?

Okay having read the Pink news here it seems very very different from the notorious clause 28. "Therefore pupils should learn the significance of marriage and stable relationships as key building blocks of community and society. Care needs to be taken to ensure that there is no stigmatisation of children based on their home circumstances.?
Of course if you read the Telegrh you would think it was far more anti-gay.