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AIBU?

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Original poster

To really detest the term "BREEDER"

71 replies

theboutiquemummy · 13/07/2012 15:27

its often said with a sneer and i find it really offensive. Pregnant with DC1 and we have a couple of friends who are anti Breeders and its making it difficult to tell them, read I'm a coward and i've left it for now

any thoughts ?

OP posts:
scuzy · 13/07/2012 15:30

am i missing something? to me a breeder is someone who breeds dogs.

BlackOutTheSun · 13/07/2012 15:30

Think you need to find new friends

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 13/07/2012 15:30

Ask them who they think is going to be funding their old age pension!

Ormiriathomimus · 13/07/2012 15:31

It's meant to be offensive I guess. But if people whom you class as friends are using it to you, it's time to make new friends.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/07/2012 15:31

My gay friends only ever say this in jest (good job because a couple have adopted). Can you find out where it comes from with them... defense against prejudice, habit, being an arsehole?

DublinMammy · 13/07/2012 15:32

Some of my gay friends call any heterosexual a "breeder". To me it's just a joke and I don't mind at all.....

trikken · 13/07/2012 15:33

Agree that new friends are needed. Horrible term. Some people have children some dont, its individual choice isnt it.

RichTeas · 13/07/2012 15:35

It's an ironic term, so it depends how it is used. But if you say your friends are "anti-breeders" then it may be time to shelve them until their turn comes around. Too much negative energy otherwise. You are starting on something new and they are stuck where you were.

Original poster
theboutiquemummy · 13/07/2012 15:35

non of my gay friends have ever said anything like that in fact they have been the most supportive

I didnt realise it was so widely used maybe im just being overly sensitive

OP posts:
scuzy · 13/07/2012 15:35

can someone explain? someone who is pregnant is a breeder????

WerthersUnOriginal · 13/07/2012 15:35

It's a vile expression imo. I'd take great offense at 'friends' using it. I def say something and if it continued I don't think I'd really see much future in it tbh.

LentillyFart · 13/07/2012 15:36

Never heard it used except in relation to dog breeding. What kind of people are you friends with?

FiveRingsForDinner · 13/07/2012 15:37

I've only heard it used towards large families

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/07/2012 15:39

Some gay people use the term 'breeder' to describe all straight people. I really assumed it was the equivalent of an overweight person sneering 'skinny' at all slim people. I assume it started as a defense to homophobia and sadness from parents at not having grandchildren.

ripsishere · 13/07/2012 15:40

I call my sister a breeder but she has eight children. She calls me the virtually barren one due to my only DD.
I think people can take offence at small things. Everyone is different regarding their taking offence limit.

AMumInScotland · 13/07/2012 15:41

It's deliberately intended to be offensive, so YANBU to be offended! Fair enough if some people have friends who joke about it, but that doesn't sound like it's the case here.

Are they arseholes in other ways or just this one?

I'd make them a lovely big card announcing your pregnancy, and tell them you'll maybe see them again when they grow up.

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2012 15:43

I think someone's been watching too much Matthew Wright

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 13/07/2012 15:45

You have friends who are 'anti-breeders'?

See to me, what I'd be asking is why they are like that. Is it because they dislike baby-bores? Is it cos they have fertility problems? Is it cos they just dislike children?

That question would be at the heart of how I told them...

badtime · 13/07/2012 15:45

I have loads of gay friends, and they would only call someone a 'breeder' if they were joking and pretty sure the breeder in question would know they were joking.
I have never heard anyone say it seriously. And I've never heard of anti-breeders. YANBU
And with the increasing number (and mainstream recognition) of gay relationships with children, I thought it was pretty much dying out anyway.

Original poster
theboutiquemummy · 13/07/2012 15:48

AMuminScotland just this, the tone of the conversations oh these breeders can't keep their kids under control etc etc.

Worraliberty matthew wright ?

OP posts:
JaponicaTroggs · 13/07/2012 15:59

It's used on a deeply offensive "child free" website, one of many vile names they give to people with children (they also have some hideous names for children). Couldn't care less if people have kids or not, their choice, but there are some very twisted and sick posters on that site.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 13/07/2012 16:03

It's meant offensively, sometimes the attack comes from defensiveness. I wouldn't really want to be friends with someone who calls me names

(as I tell my DCs all the time)

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2012 16:03

Yep, it's what Matthew Wright calls people who have kids.

cakeandcava · 13/07/2012 16:03

Some of the more offensive 'child free by choice' websites use it.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 13/07/2012 16:04

Oh well, case closed. Twat. Twat with ishoos, probably. And it is possible to have ishoos without choosing to be a twat about it.