To really detest the term "BREEDER"

[theboutiquemummy]

its often said with a sneer and i find it really offensive. Pregnant with DC1 and we have a couple of friends who are anti Breeders and its making it difficult to tell them, read I'm a coward and i've left it for now

any thoughts ?

Oop, ironic that I called Matthew Wright a name ......

If they're reasonable enough in other ways, I'd probably give them a chance to adjust their thinking - maybe email or text to let them know you are pregnant and see if they want to STFU and be friends or not. But it would have to be on condition that they stop being offensive!

It is offensive, it's also sexist (it's rarely applied to fathers, usually only mothers), and says more about the people who use it than those it's aimed at. If you are worried about telling these people about your pregnancy (congratulations btw), then they aren't really your friends, just acquaintances you've now outgrown.

It's meant to be an insulting term, so no, YANBU to feel insulted by it.

I find the type of person who says it is usually rather odd. Choosing not to have children is a perfectly valid thing to do. But the "breeder" users seem to spend a lot of time and mental/emotional energy dwelling on the subject. If I had chosen not to have children (which I nearly did), I like to think that I'd be getting on with my life instead of having all that anger.

Owls - I agree. It smacks of "protesting too much".

Yup - it's pathetic, not to mention sexist. Where do the people who use this word think they themselves came from? Did they spring fully formed out of the ether at the age of 20?

I've never heard anyone use the term breeder in rl, breeder, breeding and breed seem to come up on here though

Moomins I've heard/seen it use in other places. Mostly on other boards and blogs, but I have heard people use it in RL too. Fortunately, those people are known tosspots so no one takes much notice of them.

'used in' - must use all the letters

It isn't widely used. I have never heard it said. You need new friends!

I have never ever been referred to as a breeder! Have you made it up?

Anti breeders? Anti vast majority of women then?

They are arseholes if true

YANBU. I've seen this term used mostly on the comments section of the Daily Mail website. Enough said.

Ive heard of this. Hateful term.

Yes, I've seen it frequently in comments on news websites - Guardian, BBC and probably others. Also on a "child-free-by-choice" website that I looked at once when it was mentioned on MN.

Never heard it from anyone in RL (apart from gay friends who don't mean it seriously). But the prevalence online is fairly high.

I'll stick my neck out and say that my own (unscientific, amateur, probably wrong) take on it is that these people haven't worked through whatever problems they had with their own parents. It really does often come across like jealous toddlers.

I always thought the term 'breeder' was used to describe women who have many children with no ability or will to pay for them herself, instead claiming benefits. Before I get flamed, I do not mean people who have 2 or 3 children, I mean 4+ and a desire to keep going. A girl I know from school is what I would refer to as a breeder, if I actually used a derogatory term like that (which I don't). She has 4 DC, is pg with the 5th and exists solely on benefits. I don't agree with using horrible terms to describe these people, but I do agree that they should be discouraged from abusing the system they way that they do.

VickyandAlistair I have five children, and I know a lot of other Mners have more than two - are we all breeders?

Disclaimer: I still don't have my goat though.

It's used in several different contexts. The ones I've seen are:

• To speak insultingly about families/women who "breed children" and require support from the state.

• To speak insultingly about WOHMs who "merely breed" their children and then "farm them out".

• Used by some very angry "child-free-by-choice" people to insult all parents.

• A descriptive term for people who breed animals.

The context I was talking about above was the "child-free-by-choice" usage, which is the most frequent one that I've seen generally - although (perhaps for obvious reasons) it isn't the most frequent use on MN.

Do you exist solely on benefits and TTC for the 6th Saskia? If so, then yep maybe, but if not as I suspect then no.. I would describe you as a mum of 5! Kudos btw, I have 1 ds and he runs me ragged, I actually have alot of respect for mothers who have lots of kids. My mum had 3 and made it seem easy, when in retrospect it cant have been at all..

No I don't, and they're all teens/grown up now so number six is not a likelihood. Funnily enough, I found DS1 the most tiring, I think by the time I was on to DS 3, 4 and 5 I'd got so used to be shattered it seemed normal

The point I'm making is that this idea about people with large families having them for the benefits and free goat is wearing. There may be people who do that, but I would guess they have other ishoos, are in very small numbers and are more to be pitied than judged. Trust me: there are much easier ways to make easy money than having babies - really, I used to go to work to have a sit down

It's used by the same sort of person who refers to women as "females", as if it doesn't matter what species we are.

A breeder is someone who breeds animals for a living.

A MOTHER is someone who has children...

Breeder - what a rude & offensive word to use for a mother! (is it used to describe fathers too?).

I don't have children yet & it's NOT by choice - can't wait to be a Mum one day - i'm 36 next month & time is running out... i've spent a year changing epilepsy medications to a pregnancy-friendly drug; & i'm working to try & improve my (not so good) mental health so i will be a good mother.
In an ideal world i'll meet a nice boyfriend (hopefully get married) & have children within the next 2 years - that's maybe a bit too optimistic but i have to be. If it doesn't happen i'm not sure what i will do!

I didn't know that 'child-free by-choice' websites actually exist; & why are they rude about parents? Bizarre & odd IMO. I can understand that some people just don't want children - but very weird to set up a website & be rude about parents just because you choose to not have a child.

I like Mumsnet because it's an interesting, intelligent & friendly site for all women, (& some men!) not just for mothers - there are so many good sections (AIBU is great & that's how i ended up joining after 'lurking' for a while - because i just had to comment.). Also I like Chat; Mental Health; In the News; some of the Feminism section eg.

My RL friends aren't interested in politics / current affairs etc so it's good to be able to discuss those topics in a women-friendly environment online.

Also lots of my friends, family & colleagues ARE mothers so it's good to get an insight into being a parent so i can understand what they are talking about & even get advice for them.
I would never have understood my friends' FB updates about school places etc if it wasn't for Mumsnet!
In RL how on earth do the 'child-free by choice' types cope socially or at work if they can't stand parents & children? They must be real miseries (judgey sorry).

I am child-free and have been known to use the term, but usually only to wind up a couple of colleagues at work! As I own horses and breed them it doesn't seem offensive to me :-) I am an anti natalist though...

What is an anti natalist?

When my gay friends have used it, it encompasses all straight people, not just women so not sexist in my book.

Why does it encompass all straight people? Not sure a straight person having fertility problems, or who'd chosen not to have children would appreciate being called a "breeder". Equally, gay people can and do have children by various methods.