Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to be getting more and more pissed off?

62 replies

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:10

DH has invited some mates over to ours tonight to play a tabletop game they are all involved with.

About 5.30pm he mentioned that he told them I was cooking for them but "you've left it to late now so we will just have to not eat" I said no worries and made lasagne, plus a quorn one for his veggie mate.

It was ready (along with garlic bread) at 7pm, I asked them if they wanted it and they said they were just finishing a game so I should plate it up, its now been sat on the side going cold for over an hour, I've mentioned it twice in between feeding 5 week old DD and trying to settle her (I actually made their tea with her in a sling) and they have still not touched it.

I'm proper pissed off, he didn't tell me he had offered my cooking skills and now they are being really unappreciative. I know its daft and its really out of character for DH, he's normally very appreciative of anything like this.

should I just ignore it and let them have it cold or not bother if thats what they want?? I'm tempted to bin it or donate it to our struggling neighbours who would be more than appreciative!!

I'm being tired and hormonal aren't I?? Maybe I should have a gin and leave DD with them while I have a bath.

OP posts:

Catsdontcare · 12/07/2012 20:14

Yabu to have made them anything to start with and continued to be unreasonable by plating up food for grown men.

Catsdontcare · 12/07/2012 20:15

But you should leave baby with them and gave a bath!

kim147 · 12/07/2012 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 12/07/2012 20:15

Yup, leave DD with them and take the bottle of gin to the bath and pray none of them need to p in the duration of said bath. Unless you have duel facilities, in which case it would be ok!!

Leave the food in the fridge. They can nuke it or ignore it. Your neighbours will appreciate it tomorrow too!!

kim147 · 12/07/2012 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/07/2012 20:16

You don't make food to get thanked, you made it (it was lovely of you) and now it's up to them when they eat it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/07/2012 20:16

YABU to be playing Stepford wife.

Just go to bed with the baby and leave them to it!

Pandemoniaa · 12/07/2012 20:16

Far from being hormonal, I think you are in distinct danger of being far too reasonable. Anyone making remarks like "you've left it too late now so we will just have to not eat" needs to be praised on their skills as a prophet. Not cooked for. It just adds insult to injury to discover they've not got the decency to eat the food they didn't deserve in the first place!

Get this delicious dinner next door!

MammaTJ · 12/07/2012 20:17

duel dual

Original poster

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:18

cats fair point, i won't be doing it again!

mamma right, on my way with gin, pretty sure DD has just filled her nappy so will hand her to DH on my way up letting him know.

OP posts:

pjmama · 12/07/2012 20:19

Put a bogey on each plate and go to bed.

Chandon · 12/07/2012 20:20

Sorry but you area doormat, darling

He treats you with no respect, in front of his mates.

I would be cross, why should YOU have cooked anything at all?

Blimey these threads make me cross!!!!!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 12/07/2012 20:21

Oh my god, the cheek! You shouldn't have made it unless he asked you with plenty if notice (eg "I've got friends coming over next week, if that's ok? Also, would you mind cooking us something please?") and they are bring nobs for not eating it. How rude.

kittyfishersknickers · 12/07/2012 20:22

This seems to be a social gathering you're not even involved in and yet you are cooking them all dinner? Do you mother him a lot?

But it is very rude of them not to say thank you or even eat the stuff - you're being taken massively for granted.

Original poster

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:24

Chandon i don't mind cooking for them, I disagree that it makes me a doormat, although can see how the OP makes me seems like one. I won't be cooking again.

OP posts:

Minesaguinness · 12/07/2012 20:25

Sorry but you do sound a bit of a doormat. I wouldn't have bloody cooked for them in that situation so you were more than reasonable and now you're fussing over them and reminding them to eat it? Leave it there, have your bath and throw a mental in the morning if they've not cleared it away and washed up.

youarekidding · 12/07/2012 20:26

YANBU to have cooked for them but YABU to have done it at late notice after rudeness.

I would leave DD and food, go for a bath, and then after put the food in the fridge. Invite your friends over tomorrow for lasange whilst DH watches DD again

Minesaguinness · 12/07/2012 20:26

X post - sorry to use 'doormat' again. It might be just the way your post came across, as you say!

StuntGirl · 12/07/2012 20:27

Agree ywbu to have made it in the first place. Leave them to it, as grown adults I'm sure they can cope.

I'd also have words about his passive aggressive vibe; and make it clear that he's to show you more respect in future. Grown men can make their own dinner ffs. If my partner spoke to me like that there'd be serious words.

GnocchiNineDoors · 12/07/2012 20:29

If you wanted to cook.for them, leave the lasagne dish on the side with a stack.of plates and cutlery. They can reheat it if they need to.

I you didnt want to cook for them, dropping take away menus onto the gameboard would have given them the message.

Retreat, snuggle your newborn and tuck.up.in bed with a dvd and a.glass of wine.

perfumedlife · 12/07/2012 20:30

Please, I'm confused here. How can your 'd'h have told you you have left it too late if you didn't know you were cooking? What the fuck is he talking about?

Ample · 12/07/2012 20:31

Let them eat it cold. You have made it and now consider the kitchen closed. Don't give it another thought. They haven't.

perfumedlife · 12/07/2012 20:32

But respect to you, when ds was 5 weeks I didn't know if it was New York or New year. You are actually making lasagna for five men whilst newborn is in a sling.

Original poster

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:34

perfumed good point, he's acting like a knob, clearly he left it to late.

I have just had grovelling from DH and his mates come in one by one to tell me tea was nice so they have eaten it. They have been told the washing up better be done.

I will be thinking about how he speaks to me and his expectations of me while i snuggle my lovely DD and drink my lovely gin.

OP posts:

Original poster

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:36

perfumed she's 5 weeks corrected, she was a preemie and is actually 21 weeks so I've had a bit of extra time to get used to everything :) cheers though.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3