Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be getting more and more pissed off?

62 replies

GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 20:10

DH has invited some mates over to ours tonight to play a tabletop game they are all involved with.

About 5.30pm he mentioned that he told them I was cooking for them but "you've left it to late now so we will just have to not eat" I said no worries and made lasagne, plus a quorn one for his veggie mate.

It was ready (along with garlic bread) at 7pm, I asked them if they wanted it and they said they were just finishing a game so I should plate it up, its now been sat on the side going cold for over an hour, I've mentioned it twice in between feeding 5 week old DD and trying to settle her (I actually made their tea with her in a sling) and they have still not touched it.

I'm proper pissed off, he didn't tell me he had offered my cooking skills and now they are being really unappreciative. I know its daft and its really out of character for DH, he's normally very appreciative of anything like this.

should I just ignore it and let them have it cold or not bother if thats what they want?? I'm tempted to bin it or donate it to our struggling neighbours who would be more than appreciative!!

I'm being tired and hormonal aren't I?? Maybe I should have a gin and leave DD with them while I have a bath.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 12/07/2012 20:40

You sound fab! Congratulations on your wee lamb x

TastesLikePanda · 12/07/2012 20:41

They aren't doing D&D or Warhammer are they?

DH and his dfriends are trance-like when they play that - although admittedly, his friends are normally very appreciative and say thank you and flirt with me when he's not paying attention

Coconutty · 12/07/2012 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debeezandbirds · 12/07/2012 20:48

I'm going with Warhammer or 40k. I am also a hobbywife. They turn into big kids when they play, just involved in the game. It's a nice social activity to be fair.

They ate it, they said it was nice. Sorted.

I now want to have coffee with you and panda to discuss the merits of being a hobbywife Grin

OAM2009 · 12/07/2012 20:48

his mates come in one by one to tell me tea was nice

Are you in the bath NOW???? Cos then's it's a whole different kind of party ;)

[goes downhill taking the tone with her]

PS I think you're awesome! I couldn't make two lasagnes with a week's notice!!!

CharltonHairstyle · 12/07/2012 20:51

Run in, and from the door, throw the respective plate of cold food at it's owner.

Try and maybe spin them like frisbees?

Oooooh - go on Grin

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/07/2012 21:16

What did you feel about being told "you've left it to late now so we will just have to not eat"? Given that you cooking for this gathering appears to have been sprung on you?

And why do you say "I'm being tired and hormonal aren't I??" You could be saying it because you have a young baby - which would make anyone tired, and yes, hormonal. But, some people say this, take the blame on themselves, because they have been told it so often that they have come to believe it. The reason I ask is, to me you do sound tired. Too tired to raise the merry hell that your DH's offhandedness deserves. But you don't sound 'hormonal' to me - 'hormonal' means quick-to-anger, unstable to me, and you sound the exact opposite.

Is he only a knob when he's in front of his mates, or is he a knob all the time? Because if it's only in front of his mates, he's also immature.

Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 21:23

haha, yes actually they are playing 40k, we have a group of 'warhammer widows' which you are more than welcome to join debee we mainly drink wine. its actually a nice hobby for them, I'm more than supportive normally.

panda DH's mates are exactly the same, nerd flirts are cute :)

whereyouleftit he's never normally a knob, he is being extra nice now too :)

OAM thank god i was NOT in the bath, lol, they wouldn't know why to do with themselves if they saw me in the bath.

OP posts:
Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 21:24

OAM also, thanks [biush]

OP posts:
diddl · 12/07/2012 21:30

You´ve got a newborn & made 2 types of lasagne for your husbands friends?

And they didn´t have the decency to eat it immediately?

How come you had left it too late, though-can´t he cook?

GnocchiNineDoors · 12/07/2012 21:33

Ill PM you my address and you can forward all unappreciated food my way.

Grin
Debeezandbirds · 12/07/2012 21:33

GotMyLittleLamb Rather than going down the Hobby Widow route I've ended up loving painting the models! Blush

My son plays also and DP manages one of their stores so it is a bit all consuming.

Mintyy · 12/07/2012 21:36

I want to know why you are cooking food for your dh's mates when you have a newborn?

Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 21:38

wow, I have tried painting debee but I'm absolutely terrible at it and I don't have the patience. DH dream job would be running a GW store :)

Gnocch its been eaten now but its nice to know people would appreciate my efforts :)

diddl she's not that newborn, to be honest, we spent so long sitting in and visiting the SCBU that I'm finding it quite easy now she's home im going to regret saying that soon though, I'm sure, when the excitement wears off

OP posts:
Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 21:39

mintyy i honestly don't mind cooking for him, i like cooking and it was hardly a gourmet meal, i just chucked in a couple of lasagnes. it was the lack of appreciation that was pissing me off.

OP posts:
KittyFane1 · 12/07/2012 21:39

Your husband is playing a game with his friends and you cook tea for them all including veggie option?! All this after he says you've left it too late? No!! NEVER do this again OP!
Tell them to get a takeaway if they're hungry!

diddl · 12/07/2012 21:52

She was 16 weeks early?

Still quite a thing when you first get them home, isn´t it?

My PFB was early-only 12wks- & I remember someone saying how lucky I was to be able to sleep through the night!

Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 22:03

diddl sorry I've messed up my maths there, she was 14 weeks early (born at 26 weeks) - its incredible to have her home, I'm still not really used to it, she's just brilliant.

OP posts:
attheendoftheday · 12/07/2012 22:10

That is bloody outrageous behaviour from your dh. Is he normally so disrespectful and selfish?

I am a gamer myself, but I cannot believe he is even having people over when your dc is so young, let alone expecting you to cook and mind the baby while he enjoys himself.

I am outraged on your behalf.

Original poster
GotMyLittleLamb · 12/07/2012 22:15

attheend he is never disrespectful or selfish, this is a one off and has been resolved. I have absolutely no problem with him having friends over and he is more than willing to take care of DD if I am having friends over or am going out. As mentioned upthread, DD is a preemie so we have had some time to get used to it all and her being home is actually much easier than the last few months of her being in the SCBU. I appreciate your outrage though, I'm glad i wasn't being too overreactive and I won't be doing it again.

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 12/07/2012 22:44

This isn't actually for real is it? Surely no one is that much of a mug? Tell him to phone for pizza or something.

Debeezandbirds · 12/07/2012 23:02

" Surely no one is that much of a mug? Tell him to phone for pizza or something."

Obviously you've never been so foolish as to forgive a much loved partner a lapse of judgement Hmm

COCKadoodledooo · 13/07/2012 06:18

Eh? How does that possibly follow? But since you come to mention it - no, not to the extent that I would end up cooking two separate meals for a bunch of his mates who then can't be bothered to ear it. And frankly my dh would have more respect for me than to dump such an assumption on me at short notice, new baby or no plus his mates would be horrified given that none of them has a Stepford wife either

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/07/2012 06:30

Debeez the fact that you describe yourself as a 'hobby wife' is profoundly depressing. Why do you allow what your husband spends his time doing to define you? Bizarre.

DH would not dream, ever, of thinking it was ok to blame me for the lack of time to prepare food when it was his social event that I wasn't even aware of.
The lack of respect indicated in that goes much further than an error of judgement and right to the core of how the OPs DH perceives her and their relationship.

Krumbum · 13/07/2012 06:32

Yeuch! Why would you make it? He can't tell them your cooking if you havnt said you will cook! Is he unable to cook for himself and his own friends? So he's pissing about playing a game while you look after dc after you cooked for them at the drop of a hat?
He needs to grow up and treat you with respect and you need to grow a backbone!