To feel discriminated against because I cannot enter into a Civil Partnership because we are not Gay.

[happyclapper]

Having been married twice before and feeling it is, for me, a meaningless institution, I would like some legal form of commitment to my partner of 13yrs.
We have 2DS and I now only work part-time in order to facilitate my partners career and a stable home.
Consequently I have no pension and would be left fairly high and dry should anything happen to my partner.
This could be covered by a Will I quess but that would not help me if we simply decided to split.
I had a good job, pension scheme etc but have no chance now of returning after a 8yr abscence.
I think a civil arrangement would be perfect and can't understand why only same sex couples can enter into it.

'Its got the same sentiment, does it matter?'

Yes. Yes it does. Clear enough for you?

If you don't give a fig about any of this, if you think it's all just a waste of time, then carry on with your life and leave us to it. Save your energy for something more constructive than telling other people that they are wrong to feel the way they do.

I don't know how people like you get through life. There are simple measures that you need to do to get the results you want, yet no that's not enough because you feel you're discriminated against. It's ridiculous I'm afraid.

Try being a victim of real discrimination.

'Real' discrimination SecretPlace? You mean something that you consider to be discrimination? Bear in mind that you know absolutely nothing about me other than what I have said on this thread so I would tread carefully with your assumptions.

This topic is absolutely guaranteed to bring the bullies out of the woodwork. Every time.

Tread carefully? Ha!

Bullies? I'm afraid you're very wrong. Real discrimination as in people actually being discriminated against. Rather than someone not getting their own way and choosing the throw the word round willy nilly.

perhaps the point that is being missed here (although why I engage in these discussions at all is beyond me) is one about equality. I personally do not want to be married, or to participate in the institution of marriage (and by the way, what we are talking about is marriage for gay people, not some mythical entity called 'gay marriage'), but the potential to do so is an equality question. I have as much right as anyone else not to marry, or to marry if I want to. As others have said, if you don't want to marry, put the relevant safeguards in place, and move on. Don't turn it into an argument about the access of gay people to legal protection!

I agree with you rhetorician. I am 100% in favour of marriage being extended to gay couples at the same time - so they can avail themselves of that type of commitment if they wish but also so they can have equal opportunities to reject it if they so desire!

On a couple of forums I'm on there has been the attitude 'you're not married, it's only a civil partnership'. Until there is equality there will an attitude from some that one is better than the other. Anything less than complete equality is unacceptable, which means that anything less than marriage is unacceptable.

The Government recently had a consultation on gay marriage. Did you contribute to it OP?

Oh blimey, bullies?

Yeah Jamie, bullies. People who won't just settle for disagreeing with someone's POV, but have to insist that other people have no right to feel the way they do, are bullies.

Well they might be insensitive, but bullying is a whole other thing, IMO.

I think that people have a right to feel what they feel. I was merely challenging the beliefs underlying the feelings, which I personally find irrational.

Ok *Jamie, obviously I disagree but fair enough

Why not ask at your Registry Office for the same ceremony as a civil partnership. I'm not sure how different the two are.

Viviennemary, that's how the Equal Love campaign came about. A hetero couple wanted a CP, tried to arrange one and were turned down because they are opposite sex to each other. They realised that this was not right and are currently campaigning to open marriage and CPs to all people.

Marriage and CPs are open to all people in Holland and it's working fine, about 65% of all CPs are for hetero couples and there's every reason to expect take up would be similar here.

OP, just ask for a ceremony without any lovey dovey stuff and don't tell anyone you've done it. Then for the rest of the world you still aren't married, nobody will treat you different, but you've got the paperwork in place should anything untoward happen. I think it is possible to perceive marriage as just the legal contract if you want to. You just got to treat it like one, perhaps like you wouldn't celebrate getting a will as a special occasion. "Marriage" is the easy option to sort out the problem that you have.

Vivienne - there is no ceremony in a CP. It is a private act of signing papers. Any ceremony is added by the participants, if the Registry Office agrees (but it can't include religious music or words).

I wonder how many Same-sex couples go for a no-frills CP?

Differences between Civil Partnerships and Civil Marriages

Although a civil partnership is essentially viewed as a ?gay marriage?, between same sex partners, the reason it is not called a ?gay marriage?, is that there are a few differences between a partnership and a marriage on a technical level.

A civil partnership becomes legal when the registration certificate is signed by both partners. This does not mean that it must be signed during a ceremony that is public or during any specific event. This allows the partner to enter into the partnership on a private basis. There need be no words exchanged. During a civil marriage, typically words are exchanged and then the register is signed.

A vast difference between a civil partnership and a civil marriage is that a civil marriage almost always contains religious aspects during the marriage. The word marriage is a religious word in itself. Additionally, a clergy can perform civil marriages, whereas only specified registrars can perform a civil partnership.

There are also vast similarities between the two. In both a civil partnership and a civil marriage, the couples are required to give public notice of the intentions. The records of both are kept as official and public documents with the registry offices. Couples are required to wait a total of 15 days prior to registration but after giving notice of the partnership. After the 15 day waiting period the registration is given, and then it is valid for one full year after the date of registration.

I still think the best solutions are these

Either all marriages/unions/partnerships to have the same civil ceremony and then another if wanted in church. Some countries do this.

Or all marriages carried out in Registry Offices or by Registrar to be civil partnerships. And let the churches slug it out about what marriage means and who is or isn't entitled to be married. It'll probably take them hundreds of years.

^ the above came fro CivilPartnershipInfo.co.uk

VivienneMary, I quite like both of those! Although I know that the word 'marriage' is really important to some people and some would get really upset if they were told their relationship was now a CP

Cross post Jamie.

evolving...we are....!!!

Isn't there always the element of demand before anything becomes????

in the meantime....it's looking like you simply need some documentation drawn up and witnessed, etc...

Letters to local MP, etc to raise awareness about this matter....the more ppl that do, the quicker it may come into effect...isn't that how it's worked out...demand and supply!!!???

time....

thats how gay individual's went about seeking their rights and now there are 'civil partnerships'...but will be continuing to do so....maybe they will have the right to be gay and religious and be able to choose church/mosque/chapel..whatever in the future....at the moment they are gay and their possible religious beliefs are not being considered fully....

human beings are made up of so many parts.....defining things that suit our society and perspectives is forever evolving.....time is the silent shifter...it will come...I hope

we have UK civil partnership - done in the British Embassy in Dublin during the lunchtime period when the passport office was closed (has to be in public place). Romantic it wasn't. We signed the pieces of paper, had them witnessed (so 4 of us there, plus vice-consul). No frills taken to the extreme. Not sure we would have done it differently even if it had been an option.