To feel discriminated against because I cannot enter into a Civil Partnership because we are not Gay.

[happyclapper]

Having been married twice before and feeling it is, for me, a meaningless institution, I would like some legal form of commitment to my partner of 13yrs.
We have 2DS and I now only work part-time in order to facilitate my partners career and a stable home.
Consequently I have no pension and would be left fairly high and dry should anything happen to my partner.
This could be covered by a Will I quess but that would not help me if we simply decided to split.
I had a good job, pension scheme etc but have no chance now of returning after a 8yr abscence.
I think a civil arrangement would be perfect and can't understand why only same sex couples can enter into it.

whats wrong with a registry office - i thought this covered you legally

Erm...because they can't legally marry, whereas you can. Marriage is a legal commitment, just book a registry office and have a quiet ceremony.

Really? Marriage is exactly the same, if you don't choose to give it a spiritual/whatever significance, which is entirely up to you. You certainly aren't being discriminated against. Are you sure you have understood what that means?

They are the same institution called different names so as not to upset the religiously bigotted.

Just have a registry office wedding and get your meaningless bit of paper.

Did that on wedding no 2 with just myself, DH and his parents so no Hoo Haa but its still very hand -holding and gazining into each others eyes urgh. I want a practical legal arrangement.
Don't get me wrong I love my partner dearly and intend to work hard to make our relationship last but I don't want that emotional side to be anything to do with other people, the State etc. That is between me and him and no -one else.

I'm with you OP. I always thought civil partnership should be an option for all.

In your shoes I'd probably get married though. I get it that you feel it's meaningless, but then look on the practical side and consider it a legal arrangement, which is, in fact, what it is. Not everyone does it for the "romantic" reasons and that's fine.

If you're worried about your pension, can't your partner pay into a voluntary pension scheme for you, or put some money into a savings account in your name or similar? To be honest if I was forced to give up work permanently I'd probably make some kind of deal about this with my partner.

I know exactly what you mean - marriage has so much baggage attached from its history. I don't see it as an equal partnership and would be much more inclined to 'tie the knot' if I could have a civil partnership with DP rather than become a 'wife' with all the inferred sexism that entails.

But a civil partnership is the gazing lovingly into each others eyes for homosexual people?

A registry office is a civil arrangement.

YABU to claim discrimination. Gay and lesbian people are still fighting for the right to marry someone they loves. Straight couples have always had loads more choice and options.

If you don't want a wedding but you want to be legally protected why not just draw up a legal document?

I get you, OP. There has been a fair bit of campaigning about this, right?

It's possible in other countries, so why not here?

They have such a thing in France - some kind of formal co-habitation agreement just for what you want - covering legal technicalities and rights of inheritance etc. It's a shame we don't have something as sensible here. It would probably make people think more carefully about cohabiting as well

if you ask for the bare minimum in ceremony i'm sure a registry office could cut it down to something formal.

same as they could for a civil partnership that didn't any 'hand-holdy' stuff.

have you asked them?

Yes, you have a choice Registry office or see a solicitor. Then call yourself his partner, if that's what you want.

YABU

There is an existing legal remedy to your situation: a civil marriage.

Whether yours entails gazing etc is up to you. Most Civil Partnerships, however, do.

what exactly do you believe the difference to be op?

If people who are in a civil partnership decide that they no longer want to be-how do they get out of it?

Is it as complicated as divorce?

CP is all the gazing lovingly bit, just as much (or as little) as the registry office do. The only difference is the big elephant in the room where the registrar and everyone in the room aren't allowed to say "marriage" or "wedding" because homophobic side of the religious lobby have some power. Hopefully that will change soon and marriage will be the committment between two consenting adults.

Also, the ceremony doesn't need to involve anyone else apart from the Registrar and Joe Bloggs off the street who you can get to witness of you so desire.

If you get married in a Registry office, with no religious elements, surely this is, in essence and legally, a Civil Ceremony?

I don't think there actually any difference between a civil marriage and a civil ceremony, except for the wording.

This, of course, is not be confused with a 'Wedding' (huge reception, sparkling 'dream' dress, cravats, confetti, Bridezillas, tearful bridesmaids snogging drunken ushers, toddlers skidding under the feet of warring relatives...etc etc)

I'm assuming it's the latter you wish to avoid?

christ - i can't go on

this is just silly.

book a register office. and don't have any lovey dovey shit.

thats not hard

Christ - get married, then.

oh and discrimination my arse.

yes the gays they have it so good

YANBU 22 years unmarried here,3 X dc.We don't want to get married soooooo not our bag.Civil arrangement would tick all our boxes.So unfair it's not possible for diff sex couples.

I suspect it's because the gov wants diff sex couples married off due to some deluded idea that only married couples can be a family and commit-sorry I refuse to do it.

Even if you get married in a registry office with minimal fuss etc. it's still a marriage. OP said she doesn't want marriage.