to think it's inappropriate for a 2yr10mth old to ride a lift on his own?

[SherryNutkin]

We live in a nice, portered block of flats in central London. There are 3 floors and a basement which leads to the underground carpark. We live on the first floor. I found out yesterday that Dad has been letting our son ride the lift on his own, although Dad waits at the lift doors on our level. I voiced my concern as I think it's unsafe: whilst it might well be fine, he is out of sight and there are risks that can't be ignored, like him getting into the carpark if someone leaves the door open, a resident or visitor being inappropriate or even harming him, or the lift breaking down. Dad says it's important for his development, his independence, but I think it's a step too far, an unnecessary risk and irresponsible. I also think it could lead to my son making bad choices, as he now feels it's ok to go off without Mum or Dad.

YANBU, of course

Yanbu

Your dp is fucking stupid

At what age would you let your child do this?

For example in a shop that only has 2 floors so you would go to the next floor and wait at the lift doors to greet them.

You wouldn't let your 8 YO out of your sight perception? Why on earth not?

I do let DS do this with his cousin who is 10 at the Royal Festival Hall.

2.8 in a block of flats is a bit bonkers though. And if the lift ever breaks down, you're going to have a child who is utterly terrified of ever going in lifts which is going to be a total pain in the neck

"WTF?? I wouldn't even let my 8 year old dd out of my sight."

I love mumsnet, from one end of the parental scale to another in no time at all!

An 8 year old should be allowed some independence, a 2yo should not.

If i was waiting for the lift and the doors opened to reveal a 2 yr old calmly standing there, id either:

1. Scream! Because id think its some kind of devil child [no offense OP]

1. Once i realised it was a "normal child" id probably take him out as i'd think he was lost (not realising there could possibly be some twat dad waiting for him at the other end .

omg thats ridiculous! i live in a block with a lift and i wont let my dd go in alone and she is almost 7!

What would happen if it broke down and your ds was trapped in there alone??

Nooooooooooo!!!!

I would tell him if he EVER does it again, then I'm tellling the police. Qite frankly he is ASKING for trouble.

ANYONE could be watching this habit...and see an opportunity...or your Son could wander into an open flat...get lost or hurt.

Apart from all the other risks already mentioned, I'd be worried about the child getting their fingers etc jammed in the doors as they closed (and I agree with perception - I wouldn't trust my 8 year old to do it!!)

Lol it does go from one made extreme to another doesn't it?

Why in God's name would you not let an 8yr old out of your sight?

i have nightmares about this sort of thing happening

completely irresponsible

My MIL once stepped back to let some people out of a lift in a massive shopping centre...AFTER my then two yer old had run in....the bloody fool.

She watched tiny DD run to the back of he lift and then let everyone out! I shoved right in to get to her just as the doors shut.

Nightmare.

squeakytoy - you are right and I admit my own paranoia re: the safety of my children but it's other people I don't trust, not her iyswim.

I cant imagine how scared he must have been the first time the lift doors closed on him and it started moving!

What if other people called the lift and wanted to get in, are they supposed to just stand camly next to a lone tot as if this is normal ? Has dh considered he could be abused in that short trip in the lift ?

Also great way to also develop claustrophobia in a tot for the future!

No way! Lifts break down and the idea of a child of that age getting stuck on their own gives me the shivers...

I do let my 8 year old out of my sight, but wouldn't trust him in a lift on his own for all the reasons mentioned - plus having been stuck in a lift myself once I would hate him to be in that scary situation especially alone.

Sherry this is seriously poor judgement on your DP's part.

A two year old child does not need to be taught independence

What if there are sooo many things wrong with this I'm too appalled to even spell them out! This isn't one of those 'some people do things differently' discussions. This is wrong, both dangerous and neglectful.

Actually I don't think I am damaging my dd nor do I need counseling - I do realise I will have to let her go eventually. She is tiny for her age and looks 6 rather than 8. She would have no defense against anyone who meant her harm.

Look at what happened to Sarah Payne.

Out of interest though what do you think an 8 year old should be allowed to do alone?

perception- of course you don't need counselling. FFS

Your name is very apt, perception :o

An 8 year old should be able to play out with nearby friends, be trusted to know road safety on main roads, able to go to the local shop if there is one.

They should be able to go out within a short distance of home on their own at that age. They should be able to be left on their own while you pop to the local shop or nip to a neighbour. They should be able to know their own address and phone number off by heart too.

My two (at 8) were playing out together in a playground across the road, out of sight, going to the corner shop (2 quiet roads to cross), walking to school together - (5 minutes), cycling around park together with me in the park.

Central-ish London

Oh yes, forgot, left alone for up to about 10 minutes